Monday, March 3, 2014
Saturday, March 1, 2014
Dying Europe, Dying Race
Right at this moment, as we speak, Europe is dying. The white European race is a dying race— everybody is getting old and nobody new is being born. And everyone who is young is running around in other countries, not really doing anything productive for their own nations.
Why?
Well, there's something to be said about a whole continent of people who favour pleasure over long-term happiness. It creates a shortage in all things that build up a nation's foundation. A shortage in babies being born, a shortage in family ties, a shortage in education and a shortage in marriage. All the things that are fundamental to the building up of any nation— all these building blocks— are what have been, over the past decades and maybe even centuries— rotting. As we speak this very moment, Asians are taking over Europe. Middle Easterners are taking over Europe. While Caucasian Europeans are too busy living their lives on an emotional up-and-down roller coaster consisting of the questions, "Is this what I feel like doing?" Other races and other nationalities are migrating onto European soil and becoming the backbone of the EU's economy. One day soon, Europe won't even look like what we have always known to be Europe, anymore!
Why?
Because, while European culture has been busy building their societies on a foundation of pleasure over long-term happiness; elsewhere children are being raised with tradition, values, morality, drive and dedication. Future wielders of the nation's swords are being developed and formed. Hard work, dedication and commitment are being wrought in the minds of the young. They're not doing that in Europe. In Europe, people are too busy trying to figure out what it is they "feel" like doing, at the moment. How many people are there in Europe right now? And how many of those people are from different nations? Europe isn't very big, never was. But now? Now I think the entire face of Europe is going under a massive facial reconstruction! And I think the same can be said about most "white" nations. People live on some kind of emotional compass where they gauge everything they do and all the goals they set, based upon what they feel their "higher calling" is. Instead of creating blueprints and long-term goals and plans; people are sort of just floating around like shits on top of the ocean waves! Meanwhile, Asians and Middle-Easterners are striving for a quality education, striving to provide for their loved ones, striving to make a mark of honor that they can leave for the world, a legacy that they can be proud of! And who's running these "white" nations now? Natives (white natives) of these nations are not running the nations anymore! They're just the superficial surface of these countries by now! The people who are the real backbones of these nations— are the immigrants!
Why?
Well, because wherever instant pleasure is valued above long-term happiness, then it only naturally follows that everything in life becomes instant and nothing becomes long-term. What is instant is also instantly gone. Meanwhile, in these Asian and Middle-Eastern nations, lives are built on tradition, values system, dedication and character! Of course, the stronger the building-blocks, the stronger the nation and the people as a whole! Children are taught not to gauge everything based upon fleeting emotions and what they feel.
Furthermore, and to wrap up this discussion, I also feel like this whole "age of enlightenment" has something to do with this. You can go anywhere on Facebook and you'll find pages that basically, flood people's newsfeeds daily with messages that are telling them to quit their jobs and become poets and painters! To "release their spirits" into what they "truly want" to do! This is the ultimate fairy-tale. When youngsters email me, asking me how they can have a career in writing just like me, I don't tell them to follow their passions! I tell them to go to University and get a degree in something they can become useful at! I tell them to become public health workers and veterinarians! I tell them to become paramedics and marine biologists! I tell them that they can write all they want on the side but that writing won't get them places unless they sell a half a million or a million copies! Passions are not meant to be followed! Passions are meant to follow you!
As you can see, I continue to debunk our current social anomalies.
Why?
Well, there's something to be said about a whole continent of people who favour pleasure over long-term happiness. It creates a shortage in all things that build up a nation's foundation. A shortage in babies being born, a shortage in family ties, a shortage in education and a shortage in marriage. All the things that are fundamental to the building up of any nation— all these building blocks— are what have been, over the past decades and maybe even centuries— rotting. As we speak this very moment, Asians are taking over Europe. Middle Easterners are taking over Europe. While Caucasian Europeans are too busy living their lives on an emotional up-and-down roller coaster consisting of the questions, "Is this what I feel like doing?" Other races and other nationalities are migrating onto European soil and becoming the backbone of the EU's economy. One day soon, Europe won't even look like what we have always known to be Europe, anymore!
Why?
Because, while European culture has been busy building their societies on a foundation of pleasure over long-term happiness; elsewhere children are being raised with tradition, values, morality, drive and dedication. Future wielders of the nation's swords are being developed and formed. Hard work, dedication and commitment are being wrought in the minds of the young. They're not doing that in Europe. In Europe, people are too busy trying to figure out what it is they "feel" like doing, at the moment. How many people are there in Europe right now? And how many of those people are from different nations? Europe isn't very big, never was. But now? Now I think the entire face of Europe is going under a massive facial reconstruction! And I think the same can be said about most "white" nations. People live on some kind of emotional compass where they gauge everything they do and all the goals they set, based upon what they feel their "higher calling" is. Instead of creating blueprints and long-term goals and plans; people are sort of just floating around like shits on top of the ocean waves! Meanwhile, Asians and Middle-Easterners are striving for a quality education, striving to provide for their loved ones, striving to make a mark of honor that they can leave for the world, a legacy that they can be proud of! And who's running these "white" nations now? Natives (white natives) of these nations are not running the nations anymore! They're just the superficial surface of these countries by now! The people who are the real backbones of these nations— are the immigrants!
Why?
Well, because wherever instant pleasure is valued above long-term happiness, then it only naturally follows that everything in life becomes instant and nothing becomes long-term. What is instant is also instantly gone. Meanwhile, in these Asian and Middle-Eastern nations, lives are built on tradition, values system, dedication and character! Of course, the stronger the building-blocks, the stronger the nation and the people as a whole! Children are taught not to gauge everything based upon fleeting emotions and what they feel.
Furthermore, and to wrap up this discussion, I also feel like this whole "age of enlightenment" has something to do with this. You can go anywhere on Facebook and you'll find pages that basically, flood people's newsfeeds daily with messages that are telling them to quit their jobs and become poets and painters! To "release their spirits" into what they "truly want" to do! This is the ultimate fairy-tale. When youngsters email me, asking me how they can have a career in writing just like me, I don't tell them to follow their passions! I tell them to go to University and get a degree in something they can become useful at! I tell them to become public health workers and veterinarians! I tell them to become paramedics and marine biologists! I tell them that they can write all they want on the side but that writing won't get them places unless they sell a half a million or a million copies! Passions are not meant to be followed! Passions are meant to follow you!
As you can see, I continue to debunk our current social anomalies.
Men (and Women)
First of all, men are born into this world just like we women are. And as children, men see us women as people. Then around the age of pre-teens they begin to see women as things to put their penises into, while having this mindset fostered by a gross amount of homophobia (fathers, being so afraid their sons will turn gay, shove pornography into their sons' faces and take them to prostitutes for the sake of their "manliness.") And it is around that time that men begin to see women as objects that define their manliness. At a very fresh age, women become maligned in the eyes of boys as the image of us begins to morph in their minds. We become something that defines their manliness. We, to them, are not people who are capable of thinking and feeling. We are things, we have become things, to them. Things that are supposed to define their person. Of course, we don't really define their manliness in any way and the number of us women that they fuck does not determine how much of a man they are, so no matter how much they fill their lives with more and more women, they still end up seeing us as worthless, only because they don't really find that definition in us, they don't find that fulfillment, because we're not the ones who can ever give that to them!
Manhood is defined by the ability to nurture and to protect, by the capability to provide and to sustain. And what has feminism done for manhood and femininity, these days? Feminism, try as it might, seeks to stop the phenomenon which I have explained above, but, since it lacks insight into what is really going on, it fails to do what it sets out to do, and in fact, has even made matters worse between men and women.
What is the truth? The truth is that every man has come from inside the womb of a woman and every child that a man brings into this world is going to come from inside the womb of a woman and is most probably going to be raised by that woman. Women are people capable of thinking and feeling. We are not things that are created for the insertion of penises.
And what has the porn industry done for the relationship between men and women? Nothing good. Men watch porn stars and think that all women do in fact enjoy being nothing but things with vaginas.
So where is the truth for a solution? The solution is to eradicate homophobia. First of all, homosexuals cannot avoid being homosexual just by having sex with many women! Homosexuals are born homosexual and it has nothing to do with how early or how many vaginas that they "taste." Furthermore, there needs to be a change in how the world defines the tasks of a man in this world and that will not be helped by feminism if feminism keeps on pushing the right for women to be men. Women are not men; women are women and women should be treated as women and as a matter of fact, many women, like myself, enjoy chivalry and gallantry. We do in fact enjoy and appreciate being treated as the feminine sex and being treated gently and with affection. And that is okay. Because we do in fact have feelings and brains which are not masculine, but which are feminine!
Oh how I wish this could all change, and very soon. But oh how unlikely that is!
A Discussion on Social Anomalies
There are so many things that I see, so many mainstream ways of thinking and belief systems infiltrating society today, that I believe are wrong and are misleading people. And how do these concepts come about and how are they propagated? It's funny because when you take a deeper look at it, you'll see that usually somebody just wrote a book and suddenly millions of people are thrust into a whole new system of beliefs. I wish to not mislead people in such a way. We've seen so many ideologies come and go over the decades. I'd like to discuss a few key points which I think need to be brought to light.
First of all, something that bothers me is the lack of regret for anything. It seems like there has been a long-standing propagated belief teaching people that whatever you do in life— you need not regret anything. Everything, according to this ideology, happens for a reason and has made you who you are today, therefore, you need not regret anything that you've ever done. This is extremely dangerous. When you look into studies, you'll find that there are actual documented murder cases carried out by people who go around murdering their friends without regret. There is a documented case of an eleven-year-old girl who sliced her best friend's throat, and watched her bleed to death in the woods, after which time she came home and wrote in her diary: "Dear diary, oh my god I just killed someone, it was scary at first but once you get over the initial shock that says oh my god I'm killing someone, then it starts feeling really good. I sliced her throat with a knife. Well, now time to go to Sunday School! LOL!" Cases like these are documented amongst those doing research into sociopathy and psychosis. And I read this particular case in a certain study whilst looking into the conditions, myself. The key, the main core of a sociopath is in fact the total absence of regret and guilt. I am therefore left dumbfounded by the realization that every single day, there are a flood of "no regrets" messages being delivered to the general populace. The truth is that, there are a great deal of things that you are going to do in life which you should feel a massive amount of regret for. That doesn't mean you should get stuck in it forever; it just means that you, as a human being, need to know when to regret your actions when those actions have caused another human or an animal any kind of harm or hurt! And even when we get past this initial example that may seem rather extreme; we should still be able to see that life is not to be lived by being stupid about everything! Yeah, yeah, yeah, you don't regret anything, so what's next? You go out and get drunk and drive and hit another car and involuntarily murder a whole family of people (God forbid this ever happen to you or to anyone you know), but it's these kinds of misfortunes that spring forth from having an attitude of YOLO— not regretting anything! In fact, these days you are going to be shunned if you want to live your life in a way that is not exactly throwing yourself all over the place and making mistakes left and right!
Another thing I would like to discuss, is the belief system that says no other person can change you or that you cannot change any other person. It sounds right; but it's not the truth! People can in fact cause change to take place in other people. People can have such an enormous effect on other people's lives— whether that be negative or positive. In fact, other people even murder other people, which means that people can have such an effect on others— enough to take the lives of others! If someone can take the life of another— this means that people do in fact affect the lives of other people. And this is a cause for carefulness. You don't want to throw yourself all around and all over the place! Because those things that you do and those people that you let into your life are going to leave their marks on you and what kinds of fingerprints do you want to be left on your life? The marks that are left on you and the things that you become, are often the remnants of the people that you allowed to take a foothold in your life! We do affect our fellow man. And that is why we need to make the right choices, choices that will be enriching for our souls and our lives! We also need to make the right choices about how we affect our fellow man!
I encourage everyone to navigate through the belief systems of society with an enormous amount of perception; not being gullible, not being easily swayed, but trusting the light within rather than going for any source of "light" that can be found without.
First of all, something that bothers me is the lack of regret for anything. It seems like there has been a long-standing propagated belief teaching people that whatever you do in life— you need not regret anything. Everything, according to this ideology, happens for a reason and has made you who you are today, therefore, you need not regret anything that you've ever done. This is extremely dangerous. When you look into studies, you'll find that there are actual documented murder cases carried out by people who go around murdering their friends without regret. There is a documented case of an eleven-year-old girl who sliced her best friend's throat, and watched her bleed to death in the woods, after which time she came home and wrote in her diary: "Dear diary, oh my god I just killed someone, it was scary at first but once you get over the initial shock that says oh my god I'm killing someone, then it starts feeling really good. I sliced her throat with a knife. Well, now time to go to Sunday School! LOL!" Cases like these are documented amongst those doing research into sociopathy and psychosis. And I read this particular case in a certain study whilst looking into the conditions, myself. The key, the main core of a sociopath is in fact the total absence of regret and guilt. I am therefore left dumbfounded by the realization that every single day, there are a flood of "no regrets" messages being delivered to the general populace. The truth is that, there are a great deal of things that you are going to do in life which you should feel a massive amount of regret for. That doesn't mean you should get stuck in it forever; it just means that you, as a human being, need to know when to regret your actions when those actions have caused another human or an animal any kind of harm or hurt! And even when we get past this initial example that may seem rather extreme; we should still be able to see that life is not to be lived by being stupid about everything! Yeah, yeah, yeah, you don't regret anything, so what's next? You go out and get drunk and drive and hit another car and involuntarily murder a whole family of people (God forbid this ever happen to you or to anyone you know), but it's these kinds of misfortunes that spring forth from having an attitude of YOLO— not regretting anything! In fact, these days you are going to be shunned if you want to live your life in a way that is not exactly throwing yourself all over the place and making mistakes left and right!
Another thing I would like to discuss, is the belief system that says no other person can change you or that you cannot change any other person. It sounds right; but it's not the truth! People can in fact cause change to take place in other people. People can have such an enormous effect on other people's lives— whether that be negative or positive. In fact, other people even murder other people, which means that people can have such an effect on others— enough to take the lives of others! If someone can take the life of another— this means that people do in fact affect the lives of other people. And this is a cause for carefulness. You don't want to throw yourself all around and all over the place! Because those things that you do and those people that you let into your life are going to leave their marks on you and what kinds of fingerprints do you want to be left on your life? The marks that are left on you and the things that you become, are often the remnants of the people that you allowed to take a foothold in your life! We do affect our fellow man. And that is why we need to make the right choices, choices that will be enriching for our souls and our lives! We also need to make the right choices about how we affect our fellow man!
I encourage everyone to navigate through the belief systems of society with an enormous amount of perception; not being gullible, not being easily swayed, but trusting the light within rather than going for any source of "light" that can be found without.
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
Almost Left— But Then I Didn't
Lately, I have been giving some adequate amount of thought to all the hurdles I've faced on my Facebook Page for the past years managing it. And by "hurdles" I mean situations that made me cry, hurt me, caused me to want to quit my page altogether. Now, you have to understand that I'm not the kind of person to say, "I'll show you!" I'm just not like that. If someone hurts me, I'm not going to waste any amount of time on trying to prove anything at all, to that person, because that would just dignify the hurt they've caused me. I leave an offense where an offense takes place; I don't carry it around with me in various forms and shapes. Therefore, when met with these "hurdles," I really just wanted to quit my page and do other things in life. The only reason that I get past things like this, is thanks to the people who love me. And I'm not talking about family and friends; I'm talking about the people who read what I write— my readers, my fanbase— who never fail to let me know that my words have done things for them like gotten them through rehab, gotten them through the deaths of loved ones, through divorce, abandonment by parents, bullying, suicide attempts... the list goes on and on. When I read your stories, then I realize that I should go on— not to try and prove anything to anyone who criticizes me or hurts me; but to go on because what I do is good. I do a good work and the people who have critical things to say about anything I do, are not doing my work. They're just like birds flying by who shit on your head. Are you going to let bird shit make you stop riding your bike, stop taking a walk on the seashore, stop climbing a tree? No. You're going to go inside, wash your hair with some lovely shampoo and then go run out again, this time with fabulous-smelling hair! And there's been one person who's told me, "You sound like you don't take criticism gracefully" and to that my eyebrow popped up and I thought to myself, (because I didn't even respond to this person) The greatest form of criticism is to attempt and do the good work that you are criticizing and then if you are in fact able to do it and do it even better than the one you are judging— THEN I will take your criticism gracefully. And why only then? Well because then your criticism will have raised itself up to a degree of grace, a degree which would then be worth my time of day! But prior to that happening? Why in the world should I take your disgraceful criticism gracefully? Do you in fact deserve it?
The very first hurdle I ever faced was when someone kept posting on my wall, (a man) "I miss you so much, I want to be with you again!" and after a while I thought it was getting psycho because I didn't know this person at all, they had just "liked" my page and that was the only connection we had. This was back when my page only had a hundred plus "likes." So after a while of receiving these posts on my page's timeline, I finally replied, "Oh, the things you post make it sound like we actually know each other, heheheheh (smiley face)." And to that comment I received this response, "You are from the pits of hell, from the devil's belly! You can't even receive my longings gracefully! You can't even shut up and smile! You demon woman, demon child!" That was the first hurdle I ever faced due to my page and it did actually cause my hands to quiver and my heart to palpitate. I did cry and I was shocked. Almost left my page— but didn't.
The second hurdle I experienced, was when I noticed that there were elderly men hitting on very young girls, on my page, in the comments sections and so on and so forth. I sounded out a warning, "Just to let all the young girls here know, that it's not good to add men from my page that you don't know. I don't know the people on my page and I can't vouch for them, so please don't presume that I endorse any people here as your friends." Aside from about five people leaving my page, I got this response too, "You should go crawl back under whatever soap dish you crawled out from under, you ignorant excuse for a human being!" I almost left my page— but I didn't. And yes, that did make me cry. I get all these wounds from doing the work that I do...
Third hurdle was when I made an update and said, "All of my male friends have been cheated on by their female partners. I want to implore all women— please stop cheating on your men! You might have sons one day and we must treat others how we want our children to one day be treated!" Because of that, many women left my page and I received this comment, "You are ridiculously ignorant and savagely upside-down!" and that was only one comment of the sort, of many that I received. There were even boyfriends of the girls on my page who came on my page to say things like, "You think you're doing good for men? I pity you! You're a sad woman!" Almost left my page— but I didn't. I didn't cry anymore, this time.
The fourth hurdle was when I announced I was in Italy and a few Italian men started writing on my page, wishing to meet with me and to marry me. I kindly explained that I could not marry them and that I didn't know them. They of course accused me then and there of tearing their families apart (apparently, they had already told their parents they were going to marry me) and for ruining their hopes and dreams. From this fourth hurdle the disclaimer on this blog was born, it's at the bottom of my blog and if you scroll down you will see it and be able to read it and will see it in a new light, under the light of how it came to be! Almost left my page— but I didn't.
Fifth hurdle was when I said that I'm not nice; I am kind. And that I don't wish to be seen as nice; I wish to be seen as kind. In return, I was told, "You thing from the belly of the beast! You don't have niceness, you burn in hell fire!" Almost left my page— but I didn't.
There were so many smaller incidents that took place, but I'm enumerating the bigger ones, the ones that really made me want to quit what I was doing and just go enjoy my life doing something else entirely. I'd say the sixth hurdle came when I deleted a post on my timeline and got a backlash from someone who had commented on the said post, I was called "fascist" and "communist." I was given a long rant about how I was holding everyone on my page under a communist regime. Quite frankly, I had only deleted the post because I no longer wanted to share that message and it had nothing to do with any of the comments. And if I had deleted the post due to any comments, that would have been my own prerogative anyway. Almost left my page— but didn't. By this time, my crying days were over and I had toughened up. Not because I wanted to prove to anybody that I was tough— but because the people who believed in me, believed that I was tough.
The thing that happened not so long ago, which I would label as the seventh hurdle, was when I shared my writings about appreciation and gratitude vs. a feeling of entitlement. Those writings elicited a lot of negative feedback from, well, people who feel entitled. They got mad and tried to "put me in my place." One woman said "This doesn't inspire me, it isn't good because it doesn't speak to my heart, you should learn... this... and that" and she continued on to lecture me about how my writing didn't make her happy and how I needed to learn from her. Entitled indeed. So what if my writing didn't make her happy? Why was I supposed to care? Since when had I begun writing in order to make her happy? In response to that lecture from her, I chose to take a lot of time out of my day to explain to her the whole root cause behind my writing, so that she could gain an understanding of why and how I came about to write the small piece which I had shared on my page, to which she responded, "Why would you take so much time to tell me all this? If you're going to care so much about what people think, then maybe you shouldn't be sharing any of your writings!" This of course made my blood boil and I just got really mad at that point. This individual even had her personal friend come onto my page to demonize me on one of my status updates, whilst placing her on an angelic pedestal. I later found out that the individual was a writer, herself, which made a whole lot more sense to me, since in the literary industry, authors will even go so far as to writing terrible reviews on other authors' books, just out of an attempt to flatten the competition. The literary industry can get so very ugly and competitive, I just stay away from it all. The time of day I gave that woman was a time of day too much and because of that, she had her 15 minutes of fame on my page's timeline. By that time, I had already evolved into someone who could stand up for herself, I got mad and because I got mad, I was judged terribly for getting mad. And because of that I lost a person close to me (a person who judged me for how I reacted, just sitting there, judging me for all my actions and reactions.) But when you lose a person because of a scenario like that— you were better off without them, in the first place. Furthermore, just like any other person, I can get angry when I'm angry, I don't have to put up a fake front for anyone. I'm an independent writer who doesn't have to be an independent writer, I can leave whenever I want, so I'm really not about to swallow anything bitter on behalf of someone who just felt like flattening me down. I don't swallow bitter things, period.
On my page, I have evolved into quite the disciplinarian. I like to keep things under my wing now and not allow people to get out of line. The work that I do does an immense amount of good in the lives of people, I can see that clearly now and I no longer allow abrasive individuals to run amok on my page. It not only gets in my way, but it gets in the way of the people who are benefiting from the good work that I do. These days, I keep things under my watch and discipline people when needed.
The most recent incident, I'd call hurdle number eight, was when a woman posted on my update, "I have unliked your page, you are so unappreciative, this is not your best self." To which I replied, "It's wonderful to have your entitled self gone from my page. Goodbye." When people come to my page— they don't come to my page as their best selves. In fact, people stumble upon my writings because they are at their worst self, they are at their most broken selves, they are seeking for answers and groping in the dark— they are not their best selves. And they come to me and they are welcome to stay. If anyone of those people has the nerve to later turn to me and tell me, "I'm leaving because you are not your best self" then I know that person has an enormous sense of self-entitlement. As if they are entitled to me! My page is better off without them!
I've come a long way from that very first hurdle long ago, up to this present day! Almost left my page many times— but then I didn't. I have been judged for the things I write, I have been judged every time I ban a person (and I have only banned a maximum 16 people to-date), I have been judged when I have gotten angry and been judged when I have not gotten angry. It hurts to be judged according to the manners by which we survive and I bet there are those who would rather that I offer up my "services" to them without the capacity of getting angry and without the capacity to tell people when they cross the line. But then it's those kinds of people, those kinds of people who want that, who are the same kinds of people who come into your life, in the flesh and blood, and want everything about you to work so well for them, just as they please. The whole world and all the people in it must have been granted to them at their own discretion. And nobody needs people like that. Truth be told, I have weighed the realities and it turns out that I have never even once deserved any of the hurdles that have been thrown at me, as a result of running my Facebook page. I would have been well justified if I had just left and dropped everything any of those times that I felt like doing so. But at the end of the day— I'm glad that I didn't.
The very first hurdle I ever faced was when someone kept posting on my wall, (a man) "I miss you so much, I want to be with you again!" and after a while I thought it was getting psycho because I didn't know this person at all, they had just "liked" my page and that was the only connection we had. This was back when my page only had a hundred plus "likes." So after a while of receiving these posts on my page's timeline, I finally replied, "Oh, the things you post make it sound like we actually know each other, heheheheh (smiley face)." And to that comment I received this response, "You are from the pits of hell, from the devil's belly! You can't even receive my longings gracefully! You can't even shut up and smile! You demon woman, demon child!" That was the first hurdle I ever faced due to my page and it did actually cause my hands to quiver and my heart to palpitate. I did cry and I was shocked. Almost left my page— but didn't.
The second hurdle I experienced, was when I noticed that there were elderly men hitting on very young girls, on my page, in the comments sections and so on and so forth. I sounded out a warning, "Just to let all the young girls here know, that it's not good to add men from my page that you don't know. I don't know the people on my page and I can't vouch for them, so please don't presume that I endorse any people here as your friends." Aside from about five people leaving my page, I got this response too, "You should go crawl back under whatever soap dish you crawled out from under, you ignorant excuse for a human being!" I almost left my page— but I didn't. And yes, that did make me cry. I get all these wounds from doing the work that I do...
Third hurdle was when I made an update and said, "All of my male friends have been cheated on by their female partners. I want to implore all women— please stop cheating on your men! You might have sons one day and we must treat others how we want our children to one day be treated!" Because of that, many women left my page and I received this comment, "You are ridiculously ignorant and savagely upside-down!" and that was only one comment of the sort, of many that I received. There were even boyfriends of the girls on my page who came on my page to say things like, "You think you're doing good for men? I pity you! You're a sad woman!" Almost left my page— but I didn't. I didn't cry anymore, this time.
The fourth hurdle was when I announced I was in Italy and a few Italian men started writing on my page, wishing to meet with me and to marry me. I kindly explained that I could not marry them and that I didn't know them. They of course accused me then and there of tearing their families apart (apparently, they had already told their parents they were going to marry me) and for ruining their hopes and dreams. From this fourth hurdle the disclaimer on this blog was born, it's at the bottom of my blog and if you scroll down you will see it and be able to read it and will see it in a new light, under the light of how it came to be! Almost left my page— but I didn't.
Fifth hurdle was when I said that I'm not nice; I am kind. And that I don't wish to be seen as nice; I wish to be seen as kind. In return, I was told, "You thing from the belly of the beast! You don't have niceness, you burn in hell fire!" Almost left my page— but I didn't.
There were so many smaller incidents that took place, but I'm enumerating the bigger ones, the ones that really made me want to quit what I was doing and just go enjoy my life doing something else entirely. I'd say the sixth hurdle came when I deleted a post on my timeline and got a backlash from someone who had commented on the said post, I was called "fascist" and "communist." I was given a long rant about how I was holding everyone on my page under a communist regime. Quite frankly, I had only deleted the post because I no longer wanted to share that message and it had nothing to do with any of the comments. And if I had deleted the post due to any comments, that would have been my own prerogative anyway. Almost left my page— but didn't. By this time, my crying days were over and I had toughened up. Not because I wanted to prove to anybody that I was tough— but because the people who believed in me, believed that I was tough.
The thing that happened not so long ago, which I would label as the seventh hurdle, was when I shared my writings about appreciation and gratitude vs. a feeling of entitlement. Those writings elicited a lot of negative feedback from, well, people who feel entitled. They got mad and tried to "put me in my place." One woman said "This doesn't inspire me, it isn't good because it doesn't speak to my heart, you should learn... this... and that" and she continued on to lecture me about how my writing didn't make her happy and how I needed to learn from her. Entitled indeed. So what if my writing didn't make her happy? Why was I supposed to care? Since when had I begun writing in order to make her happy? In response to that lecture from her, I chose to take a lot of time out of my day to explain to her the whole root cause behind my writing, so that she could gain an understanding of why and how I came about to write the small piece which I had shared on my page, to which she responded, "Why would you take so much time to tell me all this? If you're going to care so much about what people think, then maybe you shouldn't be sharing any of your writings!" This of course made my blood boil and I just got really mad at that point. This individual even had her personal friend come onto my page to demonize me on one of my status updates, whilst placing her on an angelic pedestal. I later found out that the individual was a writer, herself, which made a whole lot more sense to me, since in the literary industry, authors will even go so far as to writing terrible reviews on other authors' books, just out of an attempt to flatten the competition. The literary industry can get so very ugly and competitive, I just stay away from it all. The time of day I gave that woman was a time of day too much and because of that, she had her 15 minutes of fame on my page's timeline. By that time, I had already evolved into someone who could stand up for herself, I got mad and because I got mad, I was judged terribly for getting mad. And because of that I lost a person close to me (a person who judged me for how I reacted, just sitting there, judging me for all my actions and reactions.) But when you lose a person because of a scenario like that— you were better off without them, in the first place. Furthermore, just like any other person, I can get angry when I'm angry, I don't have to put up a fake front for anyone. I'm an independent writer who doesn't have to be an independent writer, I can leave whenever I want, so I'm really not about to swallow anything bitter on behalf of someone who just felt like flattening me down. I don't swallow bitter things, period.
On my page, I have evolved into quite the disciplinarian. I like to keep things under my wing now and not allow people to get out of line. The work that I do does an immense amount of good in the lives of people, I can see that clearly now and I no longer allow abrasive individuals to run amok on my page. It not only gets in my way, but it gets in the way of the people who are benefiting from the good work that I do. These days, I keep things under my watch and discipline people when needed.
The most recent incident, I'd call hurdle number eight, was when a woman posted on my update, "I have unliked your page, you are so unappreciative, this is not your best self." To which I replied, "It's wonderful to have your entitled self gone from my page. Goodbye." When people come to my page— they don't come to my page as their best selves. In fact, people stumble upon my writings because they are at their worst self, they are at their most broken selves, they are seeking for answers and groping in the dark— they are not their best selves. And they come to me and they are welcome to stay. If anyone of those people has the nerve to later turn to me and tell me, "I'm leaving because you are not your best self" then I know that person has an enormous sense of self-entitlement. As if they are entitled to me! My page is better off without them!
I've come a long way from that very first hurdle long ago, up to this present day! Almost left my page many times— but then I didn't. I have been judged for the things I write, I have been judged every time I ban a person (and I have only banned a maximum 16 people to-date), I have been judged when I have gotten angry and been judged when I have not gotten angry. It hurts to be judged according to the manners by which we survive and I bet there are those who would rather that I offer up my "services" to them without the capacity of getting angry and without the capacity to tell people when they cross the line. But then it's those kinds of people, those kinds of people who want that, who are the same kinds of people who come into your life, in the flesh and blood, and want everything about you to work so well for them, just as they please. The whole world and all the people in it must have been granted to them at their own discretion. And nobody needs people like that. Truth be told, I have weighed the realities and it turns out that I have never even once deserved any of the hurdles that have been thrown at me, as a result of running my Facebook page. I would have been well justified if I had just left and dropped everything any of those times that I felt like doing so. But at the end of the day— I'm glad that I didn't.
Wednesday, February 19, 2014
Stirring flowers...
All things
by immortal power
near or far
to each other
hiddenly linked are.
That thou cans't not stir a flower
without troubling a star.
(1758-1814)
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