What Inspires Me to Write

I recently shared the following post to my Instagram account; and I didn't know that it would evoke such positive response from many people! Seeing as it seems to be a very needed message in the world right now (judging from the comments I've received on it), I think it's best to share it here on my blog, as well:

You guys have asked me, so many times, "What inspires you to write?" And I have never been able to truly answer that question. But today I think I finally can (after 8 long years of being asked this). I am inspired to write, by the broken people in this world. And by the broken person in me. Countless readers of my work have come to me and have told me that my words have helped them come out of rehab, have prevented them from committing suicide... some even have my words tattooed on their skin so that they can see it every day! My words have shown up countless times in mental health magazines and have been discussed by respected mental health therapists from various parts of the world. But what you don't know, is that this hits very close to home. My father suffers from severe depression, something which I watched him overcome each time he would talk to me over video call, just so he could make me smile and not ruin my day talking to him! Throughout his adult life, he was in and out of rehab. Rehab for substance abuse and rehab for mental health therapy.
I witnessed my father become the butt of people's jokes and judgments, thanks to the tremendous social stigma surrounding mental health. Nobody wanted to meet him where he was at; they wanted him to wake up in the morning and feel thankful that there was sunshine outside his window!
I have just started Aerial Silk Acrobatics as an avenue for personal therapy. I feel like I am being taught how to fly again. It soothes my mind and it hurts my body like hell; but I also know that it is strengthening me!
People with depression, or other mental health problems, cannot just wake up in the morning and be thankful for the sunshine. Let's fight the stigma together, and let's strive towards our own mental health in what ways we can.
I am inspired by the broken ones. You are the lights that WILL shine the brightest!!!

I am so glad that I am finally able to pinpoint what it is (who it is) that inspires me to write! And I'm also happy to be sharing these photos from my first two aerial classes!

Aerial Dance is a very demanding form of acrobatics. It's painful and it requires strength of steal and true endurance! One day I hope to be good at it; but to get there I need to keep on training! If flying were easy, then we'd all be up in the sky! I wonder how much it hurts a butterfly as she earns her wings! πŸ¦‹πŸ¦‹

My teacher says, "Make it look like it doesn't hurt!" And I think to myself, "Well that's something I'm good at..."

I Hope One Day You Will No Longer Be Afraid

       I have been spending a considerable amount of time in Japan lately. Before my first visit to Japan in October, I didn't even know I wanted to go there. I discovered my desire for Japan only upon my arrival. I was suddenly struck with an overwhelming feeling, like I had stepped into a country filled with perfect people who were all created by a Moon Goddess and lived in Moon Land of Perfection.
       Perfection is just everywhere, in Japan: in their geography, their culture, their society, their people, their infrastructure... and when I say "perfect" I don't mean the nonexistence of flaws. But when I say "perfect", I mean the harmony of everything. The absence of harmony and flow is imperfection. Japan doesn't have that. Japan is perfect.
       Of all the things about Japan that I could sit down and write about today, I am choosing to write about something that really strikes me hard. And that is on the matter of religion.

A little Shinto Shrine outside a small establishment in Kyoto.

       At first, you visit Japan and you feel like their temples and shrines are there for novelty, there as tourist attractions. But you stay longer and you begin to realize that their temples and shrines are not for you; rather, they are there for the worshipful people of Japan.
       Their ornate shrines and breathtaking temples of worship are very personal entities that exist because this is in fact the religion of the people. You go there with your camera and your selfie stick and you realize that little old ladies and little boys and girls and salary men and businesswomen and anime cosplay teenagers are all paying visits to these temples and shrines because they believe in the entities that are enshrined there. They want to go there to pray. That's where they pray every day, or every week, or every semester before exams...
       The local Japanese populace visits their temples and shrines in order to pray, to worship, to praise. I would watch them arrive at the temples and shrines while I was in Japan: their fervent hand gestures, their solemn faces, their respectful countenance, their eager hearts!

A man leaving his prayer/s at a Shinto shrine. 

       These beautiful people who are so respectful and desirous of beautifying their society, the lives of other people, and their country as a whole, bow down to pray to stone images of mice and cats and rabbits and bears! Small beings that we consider to be insignificant in nature. I am not used to this. I am used to bowing down before Gods who are "almighty, omnipotent, all-powerful, and 'the One True God." In fact, I used to always believe that being God was about "being the best at everything." And then I became used to growing up in a culture wherein "being the best at everything" was how you attained your own status as a "god". Just look at all those CEOs!
       Religion is an incredibly undeniable element of human society and the human psyche. Just think: The only real constant element of humanity, through the ages, is the concept of God: of having a God (or Gods), of worshiping, of praying... people have always prayed. People have always looked upwards and asked for help, for favor, for guidance. No matter the tribe, the nation, the color of skin.
       But I believe that we only become as good as the Gods that we believe in. Or nearly as good. Or perhaps we only become as good, or nearly as good, as the type of system of belief that we put our trust in.
       The three Abrahamic religions of today, which are the most widespread of religions on our planet, each proclaim utter ownership of the word "True God." These Gods are jealous, vengeful, wrathful, and they expect you to come up to par to the rules they have set. And then they don't stop there; because they further expect you to require the same of the people around you. In other words, they tell you, "This is what the One True God is like and other people should know this and believe this and you shouldn't be friends with anyone who doesn't do what I say they should do." And that is basically it.
       When we put our trust in Gods who are "the best", it goes to follow that we will pattern our own minds along this pathway and think that our own religion is the best, or the only one true way. We're not going to be considerate of what other people believe, or what they hope for, because we won't even want to be their friends.

Me, sitting at a Shinto shrine on Mt. Fuji.

       This world is vast. Just vast, really. On the one hand, we have human beings murdering one another in the name of "The One True God", and on the other hand, we have human beings wanting the best for each other and their society, because they pray to mice and foxes.
       Why do we judge people's goodness entirely dependent upon which God they are worshiping? Are we in a contest to compare who has the better God? If a person who worships a rabbit is good to you, truly good to you, would that be of less impact on you than the cruelty of a man who worships one of the main centerfold Gods of this world? Would you not care to weigh the goodness of the rabbit-worshiper, because his God is merely a rabbit? Would you be quick to forgive the cruelties of a Jewish man or a Christian man or a Muslim man, because his God is a major player in the arena of religion? How are we calculating the value of goodness, in our world today?
       I have a thought that runs through my mind: What if all of the Gods are friends, in reality? With our human minds, we have pitted the Gods against one another, as we pit ourselves against one another (we have made our own Gods in our own image). But what is the likelihood that all of the Gods that do exist, are against one another's systems and are in a contest to show who is more powerful? Really? Is it really all that childish and cumbersome? Really now?
       What if all the Gods that do exist, are actually existing in harmony and unity? What if Jesus and Allah and Jehovah and Rabbit and Mouse and the Tao and the Universe are all hanging out together right now, and the only thing that they want-- the only thing that they really, really want-- is to see whom amongst the human race has a good heart?

Makeshift Shinto shrine on Mt. Fuji.

       What if Jesus is saying, "Let's say I am the Only Way"; and then Allah says, "And I'll say I am the Only One"; and then Jehovah says, "And I'll say my people are the Chosen Ones"; and then Mouse says, "Then I'll just be a mouse on a hill with a stone figure"; and then they all say, "And we'll see who worships Mouse in all of his smallness and insignificance. Let's see who prays to Mouse for help, even if he's just a Mouse." And then what if they are all just there, hanging out together, waiting to see the quality of the hearts of man... waiting to see who is too proud and who is truly humble?
       Who wants to identify himself with the most powerful God? Of course everyone. Who wants to identify himself with a rabbit or a mouse? Hard to find that one. The latter is smaller, is humbler, is quieter, is simpler. Much, much simpler. Something a small child might pray to.
       What if Eternal Pradise is a lot more important and a lot more significant and a lot more complicated than just believing and putting all of your trust in the one God who says He's the Only Way or the Only One or that He has made you the Chosen One? What if arriving into the Heavenly Paradise one day is actually about being a simple-hearted person? A humble person. A person who is okay with praying to a little mouse? Because what if that's the kind of person who possesses the heart of gold? The person with a heart of a child!

Geisha praying at one of the shrines at Kiyomizu-dera, in Kyoto.

       No man or woman should be afraid to think, to explore, to ask. The moment that these three things cause fear in the heart of a person, that is the moment a person should realize that he/she is being kept away from all of the other forms of truth that are out there. There are many truths in the world, and you will never find any of them if you think that you already have the only one that exists!
       I am extremely humbled to have witnessed a culture of people who are innately altruistic, fervently respectful and considerate, who force no one else to follow in their own religions. Have you ever heard of a Shinto forcing you to go to Shinto Shrine? Nope. Have you ever heard of a Buddhist forcing you to go to rub Buddha's belly? I don't think so. Like I said, we are only as good as the Gods we believe in. Or, as the systems set in place by man for us to understand them. I mean, what if Jesus and Allah and Jehovah are actually really chill Gods who really just want the best for everyone and everything, but then some people who needed to make money wrote some laws and said, "This is what the Big God says!" and vΓ³ila! The rest is history!
       The most humbling act to witness, in a lifetime, is a person praying to the statue of a mouse. A little old lady or a little kid, drinking from a stream of water they believe was sent by Heaven to help them, or bathing in incense they believe was sent by Heaven to bring them mercy. It's not insignificant; it might be small, it might be little, but it's Earth-moving. It's beautiful.

Kyomizu-dera "Pure Water Temple"; the place of magical streams.

       I hope that one day you will be able to visit Japan, to watch and to think deeply about what you see there. I hope that one day you will be shaken to your core and that you will never be the same person again. I hope that one day you will ask questions, seek answers, and that you will no longer be afraid. Let's all hope this, together.

If you want to follow my Japan travels, head on over to my Instagram account for an immersive experience.

Do You Have a Night Life?

       I remember watching one of the (close to ending) scenes of one of the movies in the movie series The Matrix, which was when the masses of human beings turned to dancing as a last resort against the computer simulations (the "Mr. Smiths"). The antagonists were closing in on the remaining humans that defied the matrix and the only thing left to do was the most primal human action they could do in that instant: DANCE. Do you remember this scene from the movie? If not, here's a refresher for you:

       That was a long time ago and I was a lot younger when I first watched it, but I had goosebumps all over my body and I still have goosebumps today when I watch it again. I sat there in front of the t.v., many years ago, and I thought about it hard. I pondered upon the nature of dance and what it means to be human and how that primal act of pleasure was a final stand against the matrix and the whole lie and the control of the computer simulation that had power over the greater bunch of humanity.
       I think that, aside from sexual intercourse, dancing is the most pleasurable action a human can indulge in. For me, at least, I know that is how I feel. I am pretty sure it releases a ton of dopamine in my brain, because dancing, to me, is close to orgasmic and I'm sure there are a handful of others (if not more than just a handful) who feel the same way.
       I recently began living a night life. I got married very young and raised my son all throughout my 20s. When other people were going to clubs, I was being a mother and a wife. Now though, that my son is taller than me and has a sturdy foundation for his own life, I feel that it is time for me to live in any which way that I choose to live. And so, I turn to dancing. Most preferably done in the company of a whole den of other people, at nighttime. But I have discovered so much more since I started living at night. I have discovered that the night club is the place where you will find the most open, transparent and accepting people. For some reason, dancing+alcohol consumption, seems to result in affectionate, accepting and uninhibited human beings. The club is the only place where people just walk right up to me and ask me if I am happy, tell me that I am beautiful, and touch my hair even if they don't know me. And I am not even talking about men specifically. Women do this to other women (something that never happens anywhere else, because, every woman gotta be a cold bitch at school, in the office, at the mall, walking down the street).
       I myself, have a lot to learn from the night clubs and the bars. I need to learn how to let down the many walls I have built around myself and to let the cracks shine through. I have to learn how to talk to people (in person) with a deep type of openness and neediness and acceptance (yes, both neediness and acceptance at the same time). I am getting there, slowly but surely!
       This is a side to the human nature that I really have not been able to witness any other time in my life, thus far. And I love it. People are people and in the club they leave their cares, worries, pretensions and hostilities at the door. Yes, plenty of broken and sad people can be found in the club, too. But that does not mean that in the morning or in the afternoons they are not broken and deformed on the inside; rather, it just means that at night, in the club, they stop hiding it!

       I don't look for happiness at the night club, but I do thrive on the freedom and the openness in there and it feels like Vitamin C, really it does! It also makes me see how entirely wrong it is to judge people who go out at night. I grew up in an extremely conservative community and I am pretty sure that, right now, the greater majority of my friends think that I am on my way to hell because I have developed a penchant for dancing and having a few cocktails. Bless their hearts. Many people live in bondage within their minds. Bondage propagated by ideals set by religious beliefs, familial expectations, so on and so forth. But some people, like me, break free!
       There is also the angle of people being of the persuasion that having a vibrant night life is not a spiritual activity to engage in. This is due to the fact that their forms of spirituality reside on the outside of them, rather than on the inside of them. If they go over there, they are no longer connected to their spirituality; if they come over here, they are no longer spiritual beings... their spirituality exists in an outward form rather than within their soul form. They must physically attach themselves to what they wish their souls to be shaped like (or to what they have been convinced will cause their soul to become the shape they so desire for it).
       If you must identify yourself with a certain time of day, or a certain type of activity, in order to consider yourself as spiritual (ascended, enlightened, awakened, higher being, transformed being), then it is, in actuality, the time of day that is spiritual and the type of activity that is spiritual but not you yourself who is spiritual! If you are a spiritual being, or of the supernatural persuasion, then whatever time of day it is or wherever you go and whatever you do-- you will always be the light and the salt, wherever you are placed. You will always be connected, ascended, awakened, enlightened. Because it is YOU; it is not the place or the time or the action! When you are spiritual, you make things around you spiritual; if you are supernatural, you look at a small flower and you see the eyes of God in it. If you are a flame, how could you ever be anything other than a flame?
       I don't think I will ever stop reveling in the openness and the brokenness and the affections that the night is impregnated with. Like stars in the sky, we see people's light at night, breaking through the cracks that they keep so sealed and closed in the daytime.

My Message for All of You on My Birthday (September 13)

       The story of my birth into this world is a rather unique one. During labour, the doctors thought they'd lost me. I had lost my heartbeat. They extracted fluid from my skull to check for oxygen presence in my brain to determine if I could still be born alive (I still have the scar on the side of my head until now). They did find oxygen, so the doctors were able to save my life.
       I sometimes wonder, if the reason why I am able to live supernaturally, is due to the fact that before I was born I already experienced death? A crossover to death that happens in the middle of a crossover to birth, is a very curious thing, indeed!
       I don't share this story often, because I feel like it makes me look fragile. But this year on my birthday, I realised that it tells a beautiful story of a love for life and it also teaches a lesson. The lesson is a unique one: that we are not to give up, even after our hearts have stopped beating. Usually, we all say, "as long as there is breath there is a way"; or, "as long as there is a heartbeat, there is hope." But my story teaches that even after the heart has stopped beating, there is still hope. And even before a breath has been breathed, there is a way! πŸ’˜

       I love you all, thank you for reading the things that I write, thank you for welcoming me into your lives in such a profound and moving way. I am honoured to have met you through my words. God has blessed me with the ability to become a part of many lives and for that I feel very thankful. πŸ™

Dear World: You've Got it All Wrong

       In our world, compassion has become a word synonymous with poverty. Compassion is reserved for the poor. Disdain is reserved for the rich. Mercy is reserved for the poor. Judgment is designated to the rich. Because people only recognise outward brokenness: broken clothes, broken shoes, broken houses, broken cars... people do not recognise inward brokenness: broken souls, broken hearts, broken minds, broken families.
       Broken rich people try to fix their brokenness with no help from anything but money. And money doesn't help the soul. The problem is that people actually do believe that money is everything, that's why they think that when you do have money, you have everything, and don't deserve anything else (like compassion, understanding, love, mercy). It is in fact ironic, that the real reason why people hate rich people, is because they themselves feel like rich people can fix everything in the world because they own everything in the world. As if all the money in the world could fix a single broken soul! And it's the rich people who actually know that, because it's they who actually live it.

       In this world, we have the broken on the outside and the broken on the inside: money can fix the outside but cannot fix the inside. One has the cure to the other. But rather than working together, society has instead chosen to point fingers and in doing so, continues the cycle of judgment and pain, for everybody. Society has instead chosen an underdog it deems worse off, and it has chosen the outward brokenness as the worse of the two. Why? Because society is shallow and cannot comprehend inner pain.
       We have swanky bars and clubs filled with rich people drowning their sorrows while the rest of the world points fingers and says that everyone in there ought to fix all the problems of the world! Because for some reason, the hellbound are expected to save the heavenbound. And what kind of logic is that?

       You've got it all wrong, world. You've got it all wrong.

The Problem With Love

       The problem with people and love, today, is the fact that people do not know what love is. People could sit down with love, talk to love, walk with love and be touched by love... without ever knowing that it was love! And then... continue to look for her, even after they have already found her. Why? Well, this is a very curious thing in life: that people have given meaning to something that they think they have understood, without first understanding it. Usually, we eat an egg before we remember that it is an egg and to call it an egg. But with love, you see, we remember what we think it is and what we think we should call it, before we have eaten it!
       The mundane people go around believing that love is something they are going to find in someone that makes them feel a certain way about themselves, because that someone is everything that they think love means and love looks like. So they do not actually fall in love with who that person is. They don't even know that person, really. People don't even fall in love with people, anymore. People fall in love with ideas. With easy things. With things that feel good. With things that should mean what love is supposed to mean.
       The truth is, love almost always looks like what we didn't think it would look like and what we didn't plan for it to look like. What we didn't hope it would be like and even maybe everything we are afraid of ever feeling!
       When you fall in love with a person-- nothing can take that love away. Not another person, not a circumstance, not an event... not time, not space. And you want everything about the person-- the difficult, the heavy, the light, the fun, the ugly, the dirty, the brilliant, the holy, the sacred, the pure, the innocent, the dark, the scary, the late nights, the tears, the early mornings, the laughter. That's what happens when you fall in love with a person. It's irreplaceable. Irreplaceable. It's not a feeling, it's not an idea. It's a person.

The Experience of God

       We can discover God in many things. God, I believe, is not a relic of a temple or a building or an image or a book. God is experienced in moments. In flowers, in birds, in the sunrise... in our own bodies and how our bodies feel and heal and grow. God in every blade of grass and in every heartbeat and bone. And in every feather. This is the experience of God.
       We normally tend to segregate the experience of God to objects, events and moments that are not partial to our human experience, thus alienating God to certain aspects of life (like our desire to be better people or to be kind, or our church attendance or our reading of a holy book, etc. etc.) And then "outside" of God, we normally continue to experience life apart from Him.
       Who is God then, what is God's name, which holy book does God really belong to, which creed, which people, which set of rules... what is His name? I always ask myself these questions, and I say, "God, what is your name and who do you belong to?" But I always feel the same answer in my Mind and Soul: God is Greater and Bigger than all of these questions and all of the answers that people would like to give to them. Because all of the books and all of the paths and all of the names are objects and concepts that are the byproducts of humankind's desire to experience God. Since the very beginning of time itself, as history and archaeology proves, humankind has been desirous of experiencing God and many channels have been forged to facilitate this. Every culture has its own Book, every people has its own Name.
       We fight and we toil in order to make other people walk our own Path, read our own Books and call out the Name that we know. This is a very menial activity and a very small endeavor. God is far greater and far bigger than all of this.
       And so, what is God's name? God's name is the name that matters to you, it is the name that causes you to experience Him in everything. Whichever name facilitates God for you in your moments, is the name of God. On the contrary, we have not realised that God is an experience; we have not been experiencing God, we have instead been equating God. Equating God to a tradition, to a church, to a book, to a name, to an image that is always outside of us, one which we struggle to walk hand-in-hand with.
       Atheists are not people who do not believe in God (and this is something that atheists themselves do not even realise yet); rather, atheists are people who do not believe in the things that people say God is. I have said this quite a few times before: that atheists are people who have a very real chance of experiencing God, because they despise all of the methodologies, anecdotes and dogmas that other human beings have associated with Him. Atheists are in possession of minds that are actually more ripened for the God experience, than any religious person. But they don't realise this. All that they are aware of, is their disdain for the byproducts of people's desires to seek God.
       It is okay to subscribe to a premade God-seeking method laid out by your ancestors, it is okay to live by it and to go to church by it, etc. But it is also okay to step out of these paths and into the area of the God experience. Into the area of experiencing God and not only equating God.
       God is not far-removed from our flesh and from what makes us human, God does not call us to chastise human nature or to chastise our own desires and being. God calls for us to experience Him in all that we are; to see His face in the reflection of our souls, to see His face in the blades of grass, in the wings of birds. And the only name of God that matters, is the Name that comes to mind when you experience Him in your moments. And the only story of God that matters, is the story that He creates with you in your moments.
       May we all stop equating God, may we all start experiencing Him.

Introducing: Comfort and Earthquakes

       Hello, wonderfuls! What a joyful day it is today! Yesterday, the Moon and the Sun met again in one of their favourite rendezvous spots and they glided gracefully from one end of Northern America to the other! Another super thing that happened yesterday, is the publication of my newest book, Comfort and Earthquakes. I wrote this book because I recognise the extreme lack of true comfort in this world right now. I believe that the single MOST scarce commodity on this planet, is comfort! We have many kinds of fake comfort available in the world today: fake spiritual comfort, fake mental comfort, fake emotional comfort, fake religious comfort, so on and so forth. There is an extreme lack of true, genuine, raw comfort of the nature that HEALS the mind, heart, spirit, soul and physical body. I decided to provide this within a book. But then I also recognised the abundance of numb hearts in this world, hearts that must be moved, shaken and softened. And that is why I added "earthquakes."
       Comfort is foreworded by 2018 Libertarian candidate for California's governor and last year's Transhumanist Party U.S. presidential candidate, Zoltan Istvan. The editing was done by Hannah and Cailin Loesch (the Loesch twins). Zoltan in California and H and C in New York: representing the unity from one end of the United States, to the other. Kind of like how the eclipse crossed from end to end!
       You can grab your own copy from Amazon and any other online bookstore in a week, or if you can't wait to be comforted, you can get your own copy immediately from the printing warehouse's online store.
    I hope that this book will be to you, all that you expect it to!

To Cherish and To Hold

Today, my mind has been building upon the meaning of cherishing one's physical body as a treasure. What does this mean and what would life be like if we were all able to do this?

I believe that if we were all to look at our bodies and see our bodies as handcrafted works of art given to our souls as gifts during this journey we call Life, this would greatly change our outlooks that we have for ourselves and for others. We can see our bodies as what they really are: handcrafted, painstakingly designed, couture clothing for our souls. And they are magical, too! When it gets torn, it heals itself. When it gets dirty, it can wash itself. When it is ill, it can be revived.

If we were to look into the mirror at our bodies and see a custom-made gift designed with our specific needs in mind, I think this would lead us along the Path of the Meaning of Life. Feelings of rejection, unwantedness and boredom are really all rooted in a misunderstanding of our bodies. Also, the feelings of envy, covetousness and pride; these are also rooted in a misunderstanding of our bodies.

And imagine if we were to extend this vision beyond our own bodies and onto the bodies of others: their bodies are gifts given to them to cherish, their bodies are tailored for them with their specific needs and life's mission in mind. This shows us where our boundaries are and how useless our opinions are about another person's body or another person's life. Their body was designed for THEM, for THEIR journey, for THEIR destiny. And we all should respect this about one another. When have we ever judged the gift given to another? We don't judge gifts, because they are especially given to someone, for them and them alone.

Envy is a form of forgetfulness. You have your own destiny, your own journey. Before you were born into this world, you knew exactly what you wanted to look like, exactly where you wanted to be born (and how you wanted to be born), and exactly who you wanted to become, as well as which destiny you needed to fulfill. Then you were born and during this process of birth and infancy and childhood, you forgot what you already knew. You forgot that YOU chose to have the things that you have (that you were born with) and to not have the things that you don't have (which you were born without). You began to envy or despise other people's stations in life and your own station in life. And each time you envied or despised another, you became more and more forgetful of those precious things that you once knew before you were born into this world.

Hate is also a form of forgetfulness, a form of the misunderstanding of the nature and the roots of one's own body and where that body stands, in this world and in this life. Each person was handcrafted for the benefit of their own souls, for their own souls to love and to cherish. How can you still hurt another, while carrying this belief in mind? Do not harm the gift that belongs to another; it is for their own soul to say where they should go, what they should do, how they should look, and how they ought to fulfill their own destinies. It is not for you to say. It is for them to say. Do not hurt the body of another; they were given bodies that heal, that grow, that adapt. They are souls who were given gifts that have destinies to fulfill. Do not hinder that, do not hurt that.

A few days ago, I shared this short piece of writing along with an image of mine on instagram and it's from this stream of thought that I have continued to expand upon the thoughts I have shared here with you, today:

"Many years ago, I began to disagree with the religious preoccupation with physical death and separation of soul and body. I began to disagree with the notion that almost everything associated with the physical body is also closely related with sin. With the notion that we are innocent souls given damned bodies to live out our days on Earth just so we can die and go to Heaven (or some other Paradise). I questioned the nature of a God who would deliberately put innocence within damnation only to test the purity of the innocence.

I began to question why I must see the body that I live in as a "crucified" mass of flesh and bone, which I would one day be freed of and on that day I would be sinless. I do believe in right and wrong. But I do not believe that wrong is characterised by the flesh while right is characterised by the soul.

From our childhood years, we are taught that there is an absolute separation from black and white, from darkness and light: that evil is black and good is white. Black represents material body and white represents soul.

I became disenchanted with this system of thinking many years ago. I believe that the physical body is a gift given to the soul; one that the mind, soul and heart must treasure and cherish.
I have found this belief of mine encapsulated within an ancient symbol of black within white and white within black: ☯ And when I became disenchanted with death, I became enchanted with life and all of its wonderful and powerful possibilities."

I hope that you will be able to change and to develop the way that you think about your physical body, the way that you see it. And not only yours, but others', as well. Have a wonderful day!

Come, Let Us Gather Together And Think!

I have been thinking...

What if there is no actual difference between a dead person and an unborn person? I have many dreams at night, over the period of many years (decades), in which I am breastfeeding babies. The dreams consist of me breastfeeding a baby, for the entirety of the dream. All kinds of babies: black, yellow, white, brown... and sometimes, nearing the end of the dream, the babies become attached to me and want to stay with me. I, too, nearly forget that the baby is not my own; nevertheless, as the dream nears its end, I am able to recall that I have only one son and that the baby on my breast belongs to someone else. At the end of such dreams, I give the infant to other people.

These dreams are all similar in nature, but with different babies. After many years, I have come to wonder about what is really happening in these dreams of mine. Am I comforting the souls of dead infants? Am I nourishing the souls of the unborn? Since I hand the babies over to others at the end of each dream, it would seem that I am nourishing the unborn before they are conceived in the womb (or perhaps, right before they are born into the world). Regardless, this has caused me to wonder if perchance the unborn soul and the dead soul are one in the same.

What if we are born many times and die many times? There is no such thing as a dead soul, anyway; there is only such a thing as a dead body. But what I am saying, is, what if the unborn soul is the same as what we would refer to as "a ghost". There is a great possibility that there is no such difference between souls. Dead and unborn are the same. The unborn have died before and those who have died before become again "the unborn". What if? What if they are one in the same?

Another thing I have been thinking about, is, materialism. When people in this world think of the word "materialism", they think of the desire for material things and this, to them, is an undesirable trait. They believe that the path leading to humility is the path that runs through the absence of material possessions (or the desire of it). I, though, believe that "materialism" in its undesirable form and connotation, is the equating of the human being to a material thing. When we begin to see people as objects (chess pieces, toys, options)— this, to me, is materialism. When we take what is immaterial and equate it to what is material. When we perform a degeneration of what is sacred and pull it down to the level of what is easily deteriorated.

Our bodies are material. There are those who would say that the food of the soul is more important than the food of the body. I wholeheartedly disagree. I have taught this repeatedly: that a body without a soul is a dead body and a soul without a body is a soul that cannot fulfill its destiny. The one needs the other to the same extent. Our souls need our bodies to be healthy and our bodies need our souls to live. And so why do we condemn our bodies to belonging "merely" to the realm of the material? Are we not thankful for this material life what we have been given? Why should we not desire, and be thankful for, material objects that can bring us comfort and satisfaction? There is no sin in this. Nay, it is a grave sin to teach that this is a sin!

I have become soulfood itself, for a multitude of people. And yet, I can confidently tell you that I am carnal as well as spiritual. I am 100% carnal and 100% spiritual. My soul cares deeply for my body and my body cares deeply for my soul. But I will never take what is sacred and turn it into what is corroded. A person is not a toy, a chess piece, or an option. A person is a person.

Alchemy is the practice of turning base material (such as lead or rock) into precious material (gold). Alchemy is the Soul performing at its fullest. The opposite of this is to take a precious material and to turn it into a base material: taking what is precious, like the human soul, and equating it to the value of an object. The opposite of Alchemy is the Soul performing at its lowest.

I have been thinking about yet another topic! The relationship between sex and innocence. There are goddesses of both sex and innocence (such as Egyptian Goddess, Hathor) and one would be inclined to ask how sex and innocence are related. But the relation between sex and innocence is tight like a strong chain! This question should not even be asked, anymore. The root of innocence in this world, is sex! Who are the innocents? The infants, the babies, the children. How do we bring the innocents into this world? We have sex. Without sex, there is no innocence brought into this world. And yet, we have come to treat sex as a degenerate's activity, as a lascivious desire that is predominantly sinful in nature. Nay, sex is sacred. Sex is sacred and the root of innocence.

As usual, there is always the devourer prowling in this world: the one who seeks to tarnish any shining thing. The rust of the nations, the RUST of the people. It is this rust that tarnishes sex, that tarnishes innocence and that would tarnish all good things, if it could.

But it is perfectly understandable why and how a goddess of sex may be the goddess of innocence and also the goddess of wisdom. Wisdom does not come from knowledge, I tell you! Wisdom comes from innocence! And so, all these three are three links in a very strong chain. A chain that would be tarnished by the devourer, by the rust of this world, every chance that it could do so!

And lastly, I have been thinking lately about envy amongst women. This is something I have been thinking about for decade upon decade. It is something to ponder upon, really. Why is it that women seem to harbour envy in their hearts far more than men do? I would go so far as to say that, generally, a woman is only genuinely kind to other women whom she deems to be less attractive and less successful than she is. Then she will say, "My beautiful, successful friend" but in reality she believes in her heart that she is more beautiful than the other. Then she will say she does not care about beauty. Well, if she does not care about beauty, then she should have no problem with being kind to women who are very beautiful; that is how the logic would normally go if it were in fact true.

A woman can devote herself to a man, for the sole reason that winning over the affections of that man would prove her more beautiful and more capable than his wife or his partner. And it never even has to be about the man, in the least! It was in fact solely based upon the desire to remove joy and comfort from the other woman and to dominate the other woman. That is truly how deeply rooted female envy is!

I have had countless encounters that have acquainted me with the envy of women. Honestly, I am naturally not envious of other women. I am in fact naturally an admirer of other women. I have had, though, a tremendous number of encounters with girls and women, in which they would shun me, try to remove me from existence, try to take away my happiness and comfort, etc. I know within my heart that there are plenty of women who would like to see me dead, for no other reason than they feel threatened by my existence. Even if we do not know each other. Even if I have never harmed them. Even if we have not even spoken to one another before!

Why is envy predominant amongst women and not amongst men? Is the beauty and the joy of a woman such an incredibly desirable thing upon this planet, that the placement of this would cause such an unfounded amount of animosity in the hearts of females everywhere? This is a question I have been asking myself for a long time now and it is a question that I think there may be no answer to. It is what it is, I guess, when it comes to this particular scenario.

I hope you have enjoyed my thoughts for today and I encourage you to share these thoughts with others! If you have any questions, feel free to ask me! And if you have any further mystical, spiritual insight into my dreams of breastfeeding many babies over the years, I would appreciate it if you could reach out to me and tell me what you know on the topic. Have a wonderful day, wonderfuls!
Back to Top