It's Almost The End of the World

     In our world we value strength. Everybody must be strong. You, me, everyone. If someone is not strong, they're the runt of humanity! The tiny little piggy who cried "wee wee wee" all the way home. I have been wondering why we value strength so much, as a human race. Maybe it's because we equate it with health. And health is always attractive and desired (of course). But what about strength of mind? What is it about strength of mind that makes it one of the most valuable attributes of being alive?
     In our times, the most valuable assets are those on the inside of a person: kindness, grace, softness, strength... how can one be both soft and strong? But my real question, which I have been asking myself, is, "Why is it that strength is so very needed in the world that we live in? I wonder, if there are other civilizations on other planets, is strength a desirable trait for them? Is it still needed? Do they need so much to be strong in mind, heart and body, like we do? Or have they transcended this? Or perhaps they never had to go through this?
     Why do we need so much strength of mind, heart and body to live on the planet Earth? Why? Well, because if we don't have it, we lose our minds! And losing our minds leads to rash behaviours, which lead to us being placed at the lower ends of society. And if we don't have strength of heart, how will we get past things like heartbreak, treachery, loneliness, unkindness, rejection? And if we're not strong in our bodies, then how can we fight off sickness and disease? It seems to me like we live in a habitat which is hostile to our species and that with every breath we take, we are learning how to survive it and striving to overcome these hostilities we are born into.
     But is it our planet itself that is hostile? I don't think so... our planet in fact is providing us with remedies to cure all diseases, to nourish our bodies and our minds! It is only us who have stepped back away so far from our Mother Earth, to form societies wherein we fight to survive hostilities of the mind, the heart and the body. Hostilities that we ourselves have created as a species.
     So, we need to be strong, in so many ways, because we have detached ourselves from our planet and its natural beauty and provisions, and because we have detached ourselves from each other, and from our own selves. Our minds do not understand what our hearts feel; our bodies do not understand what our souls want; our souls do not hear the needs of our bodies... we cannot hear our own selves, how can we expect to here and to feel each other? And so we have to be strong, we must be strong, we must survive, we must struggle... almost everything just hurts at some point.
    I don't see myself as a strong person, I don't think about myself that way. In fact, I seem to have the inner constitution of an infant: my voice shakes, I want to be held, I want to hear soft voices, I don't want anybody to fight, I don't want to fight anybody, my skin trembles, my bones tremble... I feel as though every day I have to "overcome myself" in order to survive in the world that I live in. Because I am an infant and everything hurts but I have to get up in the morning and function. It's not easy. I don't think I'm strong, I think I am a frail person who is constantly, consistently put onto the forefront of life and expected to do things that I can't do but I end up doing, anyway. It's like being given a gun and told to shoot it but I don't know how to shoot it! It's like being pushed onto the helm of a ship and being expected to captain it, but I have never been on a helm before! The powers that be, expect so much from me, that is what I know now for certain.
     The ideal existence is to live in a habitat where the need for strength is long forgotten! Because the planet cares for us, because we care for each other, because we care for ourselves, and nothing hurts because we are so much in harmony with ourselves, others and our habitat, that there is nothing that needs to be fought away! Not in our minds, not in our hearts, not in our bodies. A healing that happens even before a wound has occurred; a healing that takes place even before a disease is formed; a healing that flourishes even before pain has taken root: radical healing! Radical healing.
     We need to be strong, we strive to be strong, we struggle to show that we are strong, because we have not mastered healing. Instead of struggling to master healing, we would rather struggle to build walls, we instead struggle to take up arms, we instead struggle to protect ourselves from everything around us including our own selves. But how can we achieve and cultivate radical healing? A healing so radical that it has already begun to work even before we have begun to experience the symptoms of a heartbreak or a disease or a loneliness. How can we plant healing, and cultivate it, in such a way that it banishes the roots of what we need to be strong about?
     In our films we often like to depict alien races so advanced that they don't even have knowledge or memory of what it is like to inflict pain, or to receive it. Alien races so advanced and so pure that they make us look like a bunch of vermin cockroaches. If we are able to put this into our films, this means that somewhere in our collective consciousness there exists a knowledge of it, an awareness of it, an acknowledgement that it is indeed attainable.
     How old were you when you first realised how important it was to be strong? Was it when your parents divorced? Was it when nobody in your classroom wanted to be your friend? Was it when you got really sick and needed to be in the hospital? At what point in your life did you develop the awareness that strength would have to be your best friend in this world? It was probably too early. It was probably before you even had enough time to come into the awareness of how much you were loved, how much you were wanted, how much you were a gift to life itself, just the way you are. It was probably too soon.
     Are any of us truly strong? Or are we all infants who have simply discovered unique ways to cover ourselves beneath protective barriers? Or behind closed doors? Have we all just found, are we all just finding, our own ways to not feel hurt? There are so many people around us... how many do we actually connect with? There are so many places around us... how many actually make us feel safe? There are so many plans, so many things to be bought, so many ideas to be brought to the table... how many of these make us feel like we're home? I want us to look for connection; I want us to look for safety, I want us to look for home.

The Entirety of Everything

It is like this: Some people care deeply but they don't know how to say it; then some people say words to make it seem like they care deeply, but in reality they don't. Some people care deeply only in the moment, like seeds which last in the soil for three days until dying out; and others can't see the moments, but their roots do run deep. Some people can imitate what it looks like to care deeply and they can fabricate that for a while though they never did feel anything on the inside of them; while others are incapable of showing outwardly how they feel on the inside, it is a monster they struggle with, their feelings so strong they cannot even let those beasts out of their cages, they fear their own creatures! Some people care deeply here, and over there, and all over the place, you never really know where they belong because they seem to belong to everyone and to everything; while others don't care about anybody but you can see where they belong, who they belong to, there is always this one person or those two people and small places. Some people belong to themselves only and if you want to be a part of their lives, you'll have to become a part of them and after you do, they will never leave you because you are inside of their bones now; while others don't even know who they are or where they're going and if you belong to someone like that, you could be here today and gone tomorrow! Some people don't care and don't act like they care and we don't believe them until they make us believe them; while others care and they act like they care and we don't believe them until it's too late. We are often wounded and torn, because we never know which kind of a person they are until we are either wounded and torn, or until we have found a home. It's either or, always either or, and neither of these outcomes are easy ones because either one will change your life.

I Understand What Life Is

     I've come to an understanding of what life is. This is a short sentence to write, and yet, it means too much, more than what can be expressed in one setting. We're all standing at the railway, but it's not actually about getting onto the trains that come by and that stop and go. It's not about that. What it is about, is the people that we see while we stand there and the people that arrive at each stop of the train and the ones that leave. Sometimes, we are those people getting off and getting on; but most of the time, we are standing there: feeling, seeing, being, wanting, needing, saying hello, saying goodbye. The point of understanding what life is, happens when we have that realisation of our place in spacetime; our realisation of the fact that we are standing there and what is actually going on all around us and inside us.
     You're going to meet a person and think that they're going to stand there with you and get on and get off the trains with you and many Moons will pass and many Suns will rise and set and they'll still be by your side... but then that doesn't happen. Instead, they get on the next train and they leave you there by the tracks. Then the train moves on, it keeps on moving, you will never really see them again; I mean, if you do see them again, they're not really the same person anymore. And maybe you aren't either. They'll get off a different train and they'll bump into you standing at a different rail track. It's still you, it's still them, but, then it isn't! And sometimes, that can happen while they're still there! They'll stay, but then they don't really stay, because they change and you change, so you're not with the same person anymore: until you both realise you need to take different trains at the next stop, because, it's just not going to work! Life is amazing like that. You can believe with all of your mind and all of your heart that nothing will ever change but then everything does! Everything and everyone changes in ways you couldn't have even imagined! Then you're standing again: looking, feeling, waiting, being, wanting, needing, saying hello, saying goodbye.
     You're going to meet people that say things so fast, making you feel things, making you think things, then just as fast as the words came out of their mouths, they walk on by... this wasn't their stop, they realised. Or maybe the aromas from the hotcake stand further ahead caught their fixation. So they head on.
     Everything passes you by at some point: The Moonrise, the Sunset, the trains, the people, the aromas. You never knew before, that every single thing has wings growing out of its back! You never knew it until now! They fly fast. You could try to catch them, and you've already done that countless times; you could try to catch the ideas and the aromas and what you see; you can try to fly after them like you have three thousand times before; but then when you find yourself standing again at a rail track, you won't know where you are anymore. Because you've been chasing other people. You've been chasing words, you've been chasing promises, you've been chasing smells and smiles and stuff that made you feel things. So, the next time you stop to stand there, you won't know where you are anymore. And that could be a good thing, but then you look to your left and to your right and you don't see anybody standing with you, nobody is with you, not really. So what was all the chasing for?
     You could turn yourself into that person who says to herself, "I'm damn well standing here alone and I love it!" but then those would just be words, wouldn't it? You'd never really turn into that person, would you?
     What makes time stop? I know what. It's when you meet someone and they stay with you and you stay with them. You stay with each other. You start smelling the same aromas with someone else, you start saying hello and saying goodbye with someone else, you stand there, together: wanting and waiting and feeling and being. Breathing. And you're not alone anymore. This makes time stop, because everything around you doesn't fly anymore; it stays inside of that other person and when you look at him/her, it happens all over again, forever!
     The problem is that this doesn't just happen easy. Why? Because people have wings and they fly fast because they're chasing things, just like you have done eleven thousand times before; they don't know what makes time stop, they don't know yet. So off they fly. But one day you'll be standing there, feeling everything, and a person will come by: they're going to know what I already know right now (and what you know now too) and they're going to say hi. And you're going to stay together. Because you're time stoppers. And because this is the only thing that's real.

The Nature of Government and the People

     The civil rights of citizens of any nation, should never be dictated or curtailed by any religion. By any religion at all. While a religion is a personal path in life that is dictated by one's own personal choice (that is absolutely how it should be); the liberties allocated by a government for her people are not personal paths determined by personal choices! A government exists for all people in that nation, regardless of their personal paths in life! Therefore, personal beliefs cannot and should not ever dictate the social civil freedoms of any citizen of any nation. Period. It does not matter if I do not agree with what my neighbor is doing; nevertheless I must agree that they have the right to do what is in their own best interest to do (to marry someone of the same sex, or to get a divorce, or to remarry after a divorce, etc.) A personal sentiment should never attempt to dictate what citizens of various belief systems are allowed have and not have. Government should always be neutral on religion and spirituality and these things should not reflect upon the justices and the freedoms given to the people.
     I don't think there are many acts more selfish, than the act of a citizen of a nation demanding that his/her own personal religious and spiritual views be implemented by the government of a country, on all the citizens of that entire nation! You are basically just saying, "Because this is what I believe, this should be implemented by the government on everybody else in this country, regardless of their needs and their beliefs." Every country should have a government entirely separated from religious and spiritual views, to focus entirely on civil justice and civil freedoms, provided equally to every single person.

Are You The Prettier Pig?

       The real, prevalent conundrum having to do with people who are trying to be "right", is the fact that much of the time, their perception of the right that needs to be done, is based upon the wrong that they perceive in others. The "right" or the "better" choice has become the polar opposite of the "wrong" or the "lesser" that other people are choosing. The existence of the "better" is entirely dependent upon the existence of the "lesser" as perceived through the eyes of judgmentalism. The fact that this is the case, eradicates the solidity of the uprightness that is being performed. If the existence of righteousness depends upon the existence of unrighteousness, this means that righteousness is weaker. This whole internal ecosystem people have, is forfeiting the nature of righteousness, entirely.
     We have all of these habitats within this particular ecosystem, which are all based off of the same system. Let's name some of the few and more common ones: "I am a truer person because I post less photos on social media, as compared to those friends I have over there who post too many selfies"; "I am a truer person because I don't eat meat, as opposed to most of my friends who talk about loving animals but they're hypocrites because they eat animals"; "I am a truer person because I post on social media about God every day, so much more than the majority of my friends who post worthless memes from morning to night"; "I am a truer person right now, because I have core moral values, unlike my friends who have obviously made lesser choices in life when they got divorced"; "We are truer people right now, because we have successfully covered up our dirty laundry, putting it all in the basement, unlike all of our friends who have their laundry hanging on the clothesline, how shameful of them"; "I am a truer person right now, because I am following the rules of God, unlike those people over there who are not following the rules of God."; "I am a truer person because my presidential candidate stands for all of the better qualities of humanity, unlike the people on my friends list who support a candidate who stands for everything wrong in this world." So on and so forth.
       When the foundation of righteousness is the existence of perceived unrighteousness, guess what's left when the towers fall down? The foundation is left. 
       The foundation of perceived righteous actions should have only one gauge: LOVE! "I am a true person because I love." When you say this, all the other declarations of righteousness simply vanish into thin air. The judgmentalism, all the comparison-- all gone! Whom do you love? What do you love? How do you love? How much kindness do you have to give? How much space do you make within yourself to make room for another to find a home within your being? How much space do you make within yourself to give room for people to find your light? How much space do you make within yourself to accept and to keep joy? Righteousness founded upon the energy and the actions of LOVE is really the only type of righteousness that can be called righteousness. On the contrary, righteousness founded upon the perceived wrongdoings of others, is simply the flip side of that same wrong coin! You are the other face of that same coin that you so detest! And so, we will have many people coming to God one day and saying, "How can you not know me? I did everything right, I did everything you said I should do!" but then God will say, "Depart from me, I have never known you." God will be like, "You're the prettier face on that same double-headed pig."
       Judgmentalism is not justice and justice is not judgmentalism. Justice requires blindfolded eyes while judgmentalism relies on what is perceived by the eyes. We may feel that justice sees all; on the contrary, justice feels all! Judgmentalism sees too much and forms these judgments based upon what it sees, what its friends see, what it thinks God sees, so on and so forth. Then of course, the judgments will always be in favour of its own perceptions, those perceptions being based upon external understanding gleaned by the eyes! 
       Leave people alone. When you go onto social media every day, when you encounter people every day, leave them alone! Let them enjoy things! Let them be happy, let them have joy! Make space within yourself for people to enter into and find light, love, acceptance, joy! Yes, you may have your own opinions of what you do want and what you don't want; ultimately, it is this which steers us into distinct directions. But do not allow those opinions to become the building blocks of your foundation upon which you raise up the structure of yourself. Don't be just the other face on the other side of the same coin. Don't be the prettier pig. Oink.

Looking At Myself Through My Own Eyes

       So, basically, we live in this place where the native species (humans) are entirely obsessed with appearances. And by "appearances" I do not mean the physical body. I mean the appearance of being good; the appearance of being upright; the appearance of having a perfect family; a perfect childhood, a perfect marriage, a perfect background; the appearance of being deep and thoughtful; the appearance of being caring; essentially, every appearance of being that will make them look better than the person standing next to them. And they don't recognise this as vanity. They think taking too many selfies is vanity. I take too many selfies, because, I basically don't care who thinks I'm vain or not! I don't spend my days with this thought crossing my mind: "Oh if I take too many pictures of myself, people will think I'm shallow". And the reason why I don't spend my days thinking that, is because, that is exactly an incredibly shallow thing to think about! About appearing to be shallow!
Why would it even matter if everyone around me perceived me as shallow? When I know I am not? Do you see what I am saying here? We reside on a planet where the inhabitants of this planet exist by looking at themselves through their neighbors' eyes, instead of looking at themselves through their own eyes! Why should the opinion of my neighbor have more weight upon me, than my own opinion of myself? When I am the one who has to live with me, every waking hour and every sleeping moment? And so, in reality, the majority of this population is living through a reverse and chronically advanced version of vanity! One that roots itself in the human need of redemption, in the human need for elevation of soul. But the means they are reaching for to achieve this elevation, this redemption, will never work, never has worked, and does not right now work; alas, I go through my days practically as happy as a puppy, while others wither under the weight of worrying if they're using too much ungodly makeup or taking too many sinful, vain photos. Or if they proved in some way to be of more intrinsic value to this world than someone else standing next to them.
       I have said many times before, that it is my goal not for the world to revolve around me (which is based upon caring what the world thinks of me); rather, it is my goal to revolve around the world (which is based upon an active pursuit of life). Nobody can be in active pursuit of life, whilst living through the eyes and the opinions of others. There is nothing vain about the latter, while everything about the prior is the very definition of vanity. In your pursuit to eliminate vanity, you have instead epitomized it. Indeed, if someone were to say that I am a bad person, I would tell them, that there are even worse things about me that they have yet to discover! We do not become better people by trying to appear as better people; we become better people by finding more opportune ways to experience what it means to be alive. And darling, if a selfie helps you to see yourself better through your own eyes, then please take that selfie!

The Interview You Just Don't Wanna Miss!

       I very recently did the third segment of my author interview with Dr. Angela Meyers Cotellessa and I just realised that I had forgotten to make a write up on the second segment (sorry about that). For those of you who are just tuning into all of this now, the best way to catch up with me is by visiting my intro to this entire interview. Then you can catch the second segment here. But if you only have time to read one part of this conversation, I can tell you that this third part is the one you want to read! The first and second parts were geared more towards the benefit of the spiritual, scientific, and governmental sectors, of society. This third part is geared more towards the benefit of every human being. It's relate-able and ordinary. Hear me talk about love, relationships, friendship, parenting, mental health, and more. There is plenty of content in this article that will hit very close to home, for many!
       I am so very thrilled to be able to give this to all of you, thanks to the skills of Dr. Angela who is a trained interviewer and really an exquisitely crafted individual. As I explained in my intro article, she really does know how to pick your brain for anything that she wants! You can't mess with a woman like that, you just can't!

      It would mean so much to me for you to delve into this piece, think about it, share it with everyone you know, and ask questions! Keep it moving, keep it growing; I really do believe that many people can, and will, genuinely benefit from the words herein. And please, do not hesitate to ask questions or to raise a point of discussion with me. Leave me a comment here, or message me on Facebook or IG. Let's keep this brook flowing! 

What Have We Done To Relationships?

     What does your ideal relationship look like? What is its energy? What does it feel like? Your answer can tell me so much about you! About the substance of your mind and heart. My ideal relationship is Tris and Four from the Divergent series of novels/ movies. They didn't walk out their front doors saying to themselves, "today I want to have a girlfriend"; "today I want to have a boyfriend." Nothing like that at all. Their lives began to melt into each other, mold and flow into each other. Like clay, like water, like butter. They were partners in this life. They fought side-by-side, they were the same, they were both divergents, they both identified in the other, something they were amiss to find in others. They helped one another stay alive, they helped one another become better.

       The relationships of today are not relationships. Today, people say this: "I want to have a relationship and then I want us to make it work." Each person hands the other person a "program". A program similar to what we receive when we are seated in the theatre.  Onstage presentations are numbered and scheduled to be given at certain times. "I want to have a relationship and I want to make it work" is entirely a world apart from, "I want to meet a person who can join my life, who can understand my energy, who can help me rise (and vice versa)." Why is there any real reason to have a relationship with another person, in the first place, if not for the latter reasons?
     See, the first desire has a big gap in the middle of it, a gaping hole! It begs you to ask the questions: "Then what exactly is a relationship and why should it be present in my life right now, why should I have it, what does it mean?" Meanwhile, the second desire is the stuff that fills in that gaping hole in the first one: "I want another person who can intimately join my life, understand me, feel and flow with my energy, help me rise, and vice versa." It's the answer that fills the question, it's the stars that fill a blank night sky.
     People today are not desiring the latter; everyone is desiring the prior; the blank sky, the gaping hole. People are not understanding the nature of the stars that are supposed to stud that blank night sky, they are not grasping the stuff that is supposed to fill in the gap. People are embracing the gaping holes and groping around towards a blank night sky. "I want a relationship, and I want to make it work"; as opposed to, "I want someone who can intimately flow with me in my life, and vice versa."
       What is a relationship? It is the joining of two lives. How do you join another person's life? By understanding their energy, by understanding what they are feeling, by connecting to the fabrics of their being, by helping them form and become and by allowing them to do all of the same, for you too! If you don't know what a relationship is, if you think that it's an agreement that entitles you to hand the other person a program of expectations to follow, then you shouldn't even be looking for a relationship. Because you are living as an empty shell. It is not life. What is an empty shell? It is a thing which life has escaped. The living thing has left or deceased. It's just a shell. And that is what you are living as you maneuver yourself into the "relationships" that you desire (or the idea of a relationship that you so desire). And what is life? Life is walking out the door knowing that your energy would love to find another person's energy to hold and to mingle with and to understand! Life is wanting to understand another heartbeat and welcoming the owner of it to come in and to understand yours! Life is: "Here, right now, we are connected, we understand each other, I want to help you, I want to grow with you, I want to be your other half. I want to walk through this world with you."
     The actual reality of an intimate relationship, is as I have defined it here. What is going on everywhere, on a daily basis right now, is not reality! I mean, it is an unfortunate fact that it is the reality of the environment that we live in, and it is unfortunate, because, it is actually an unreality! We think that having a relationship means having the authority over another person's life: the authority to claim expectations, to make them act certain ways and follow rules, and vice versa. We are so used to being programmed, as a species, that we have turned the most intimate parts of our lives into programs of our own! We don't even know how to feel what's going on anymore, because all we know is how to run through the listless feelings of that program intended to make us reach certain life goals that we want to show to society (hashtag #relationship goals, hashtag #doingitright, hashtag #blessed).
     I want a relationship like Tris and Four. A divergent's relationship. "Divergent" is the exact perfect term to use here, as it would be a path diverging from the current norm and calling out to divergents, everywhere. Calling out to those with an understanding.
     We have forgotten about the old romances that defined what romance meant, and instead, we have replaced them with memes and hashtags. An ideal relationship is a picture of two celebrities cuddling, of two celebrities curled up together, saying nice things about each other... a checklist fulfilled by checking over each point on the meme: "If he's really into you, he'll always text you back... blah blah blah" so on and so forth. We have replaced the feeling of looking into someone else's eyes and understanding what that gaze means to us, with acting in a certain way and expecting someone else to act in a certain way. Nothing is actually heartfelt anymore. We have replaced love with duty. Love is dead, duty lives. The living thing inside the shell has deceased; we have idolized the shell alone.
     I want someone to join me in my life, to join their life with mine, to look into my eyes, and to see me.

The Observation, Understanding, Mitigation and Elimination of the Toxic Relationship

     We come across the term "toxic relationship" all the time, but taking an up-and-close personal look at the pieces and parts of it, means something else. But that's exactly what I want to do right now.
     The toxicity of a relationship begins with small doses of injections, very similar to how an illegal-drug user begins to inject him or herself with, for example, LSD. Except it is done to the other person (the partner) and not to oneself. So imagine two drug users bound together by the bond of being the trusted person to inject LSD into the other.

     Injections of jealousy here and there; a bit of anxiety here and there; some plays of power once in a while. A substance like LSD would trigger chemicals in the brain to sustain for longer periods of time not normally attainable without the drug in the system. Chemicals that we want to have running around in our system. "But why would anyone become addicted to a relationship that is not causing sustainable good chemicals but is actually causing quite the opposite: an overload of negativity?" Surely this is the question we all have in mind, and that many have been asking for a while now.

     There are all kinds of psychological explanations, using terms like "enabler" and "co dependent". However, I have observed that two people in a toxic relationship can become addicted to what I like to call "the dark matter of dopamine". What dark matter is to light matter in the universe, so is toxicity of a negative relationship to the dopamine sustained by a healthy one. The dark matter of dopamine. The parallel universe to the land of rainbows and sunshine. The "upside down" of Stranger Things on Netflix. Two people in a relationship can actually become addicted to this.

     It starts with little doses; a nasty comment here or there, a word or so meant to tug at the heartstrings that stir up anxiety, jealousy, paranoia or feelings of lessened self esteem. "But why would anybody become addicted to this?" You'd ask yourself. These triggers leave a space in the mind and heart where longing and yearning can be born and fester: a yearning to prove that he's faithful; a yearning to hear from that same person, the words that will restore your damaged self esteem; a longing to become "the one" because there are many others who are vying for that spot in his life; a longing that says "maybe today I will be worthy though yesterday I was not." These longings and yearnings festering within the spaces triggered by the toxic injections-- these are the substances that people become addicted to! The dark matter of dopamine!
     But why? Well, for one, it's an easier replica of a genuinely healthy relationship. Genuinely healthy and beneficial relationships can't be faked. So the next best thing is to live on the flipside of that. The positive yearning and longing associated with genuinely healthy relationships-- there's an "upside down" version to that!

     Those injectable doses eventually become lived-in, so the next doses need to be bigger... and then bigger... and even larger... toxic relationships can become so destructive, that many of them lead to sickness, disease and even untimely deaths. Not at all unlike the outcome of illegal drug abuse!
     By becoming aware of, and acknowledging, the "dark matter" alongside the picture of the "upside down", we will become more equipped to understand and to deal with the toxic relationships in our own lives and the lives of our family members and friends.
     Many people coming from a series of toxic relationships, or from serious and long-term toxic relationships, carry this pattern with them into their new ones without realising what they are doing, or that there is anything really alarming or different about their actions, at all! When a toxic relationship becomes the idea of a normal relationship in someone's mind, that is how we are able to recognize long-term victims of this type of substance abuse.
     How to stop it, then? In the beginning phases of this addiction, the answer is to say, "This ends, or we end." The recognition of the occurence of this substance abuse is the first vital approach, then the identification of the elements that are being injected into you (and that you are injecting back into your partner), followed by an acknowledgment that it must end now or the relationship ends now. The two cannot continue alonside together. These steps alone are already half of the battle, since the fact that this whole process eludes most is what provides it with the airflow in its spaces where it may continue to multiply.

     Then, ground rules! "I don't have the time or energy for this type of banter, it must end"; "if we are not making each other healthy and happy, then we should not be in each others' lives", so on and so forth. Firm and immovable decisions, coupled with the formulas to either negate the toxicity and stop it, or to end the relationship. And I mean end it. When there is a negative energy flow attached to something you are thinking of saying to the other person-- don't say it! Or, transmutate it into the opposite, into something positive and kind!

    Probably the greatest hurdle to curing the toxicity of a relationship, or to ending the toxic relationship completely, is the desperation to be in any relationship at all. This must be removed from your heart. The fear of being poisoned must be greater than the fear of being alone, or of losing someone else. After all, what do you gain even if you win the whole world, but lose your own soul? And, no, the person poisoning you is NOT your own soul. No matter what literature, romance fiction, pop culture and the movies have to say. No, don't just stand there and watch me burn, it's not alright and I don't like the way it hurts, no thank you!
     I hope this is helpful, wonderfuls! Please share this article with someone you feel really needs it! And do have a wonderful day!

What Is A Polymath?

     Hey, wonderfuls! I have something exciting to share with all of you today! The first part of my interview with Dr. Angela Meyers Cotellessa is finally live! I am both thrilled and honoured to have done this with her! Dr. Cotellessa has experience working for the US government and has spent some training time in one of her favorite places in the world, London!
     I was first approached by Dr. Cotellessa last year when she was writing her thesis on polymaths for her doctorate. She told me that she believes I am one, and that she would like to interview me. We decided to do something specifically unique to my case, though, and we structured the interview as a social media-shareable article, just a little over a month ago. 

     It was the most grueling interview I have ever done! It lasted FIVE HOURS and I was asked question upon question upon question, non-stop, with only seconds given in-between for me to even think of answers! By the time we were done, I was famished! I ate an entire watermelon! I felt like my brain had been dissected and laid out all on the table! I felt like there were walls in my mind that had been pushed aside and little things in corners with roots had been pulled out and inspected! This was all the doctor's style of scrutinizing, inspecting and testing my polymathy.
     I have here for you the first part of A Polymathic Thought Journey with C. JoyBell C., (YAY! YAY! YAY!), which has been edited into an intelligible format that can be easily followed by readers. While the format of the questions and answers has been arranged into intelligible structure, the words themselves remain in their raw form. Please, read up! Then ponder, discuss, share and ASK ME QUESTIONS! Let's keep this conversation rolling!

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