Marble Angels

People are creators. But I doubt that many realize this. We are not meant to go out into the world and find flawless things, we are not meant to sit down and have flawless things fall into our laps. But we are creators. We can create a beautiful thing out of what we have. The problem with idealistic people is that they see themselves as receivers instead of creators, they end up hunting for the flaw in everything in order to measure it up to their ideals. Now, when you see yourself as a creator, you can look at a chunk of marble and see the angel within it. Then you carve until you have set that angel free.

It’s creators that the world needs. Idealists are takers. Creators are demi-gods.

The above is something I recently said. One of my major inspirations in life is Michelangelo, who once said: “I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.” Before my visit to Italy, I didn’t know terribly much about Michelangelo. But after standing in the magnificent presence of Michelangelo’s David, and walking in his footsteps in Florence (literal footsteps in the Medici territory) I realized that he is the person who most inspires me.

Today I’d like to discuss my recent writing.

We, unfortunately, are living in an era when idealism is encouraged. But let me ask you... if everyone in the world expects to receive all the most beautiful and most perfect things, then who is supposed to be making these beautiful and perfect things? If everyone is an idealist; then where are the creators? Who’s chiseling at the chunks of marble? Because people today aren’t being taught to chisel chunks of marble, rather, people are being encouraged to find the marble angels. It is good to look for marble angels; but it is better to be Michelangelo! And if there are no Michelangelos, there are no marble angels! What has happened to all of the demi-gods?

In a slightly related post on my Writer Page Timeline, by a reader named Preston, he asked me about these words of mine:

The only way that we can live, is if we grow. The only way that we can grow is if we change. The only way that we can change is if we learn. The only way we can learn is if we are exposed. And the only way that we can become exposed is if we throw ourselves out into the open. Do it. Throw yourself.


He said that he is so wrapped-up in daily fears that it has become like an outer shell/ crust around him, and he asked how he can apply my words above to everyday life in a practical way, to which I responded: “The bigger your fears, the bigger your potential bravery. The bigger your fears, the bigger your potential courage. Courage isn’t measured by how much fear we don’t have; but courage is measured by how much fear we overcome. If you have no fears, this doesn’t mean you are brave. So you have to see yourself, fears and all (like a chunk of marble) and then you have to see the potential for courage (like the angel within the marble.) The way that you can “throw yourself out into the open” on a daily basis, is by going beyond your ideals, by going beyond your own opinions and judgments, by going beyond what you already understand, to step into the territory of what you don’t understand yet. And from there, you will become exposed, you will learn, you will change, you will grow, you will live.”

Michelangelo, by the way, was not someone who saw himself as entitled to beautiful and perfect things. That’s not why he carved angels out of marble. In fact, Michelangelo was more like a slave to the Medici family. Commissioned to live here, commissioned to live there— one could say that he was forced to see the angels in the marble. One could say it was his only possible way to see beauty. Now look at what he made, look at what he did! And if he had never lived? We would have never been able to bear witness to some of the most beautiful and magnificent creations in the history of mankind.

  

Learning To Breathe Again: Thoughts upon my return.

Hello Wonderfuls!

I thought I’d fill you all in on why I’ve been away. As most of you will have noticed by now, I’ve been away for some time and while gone, I have thought about what I ought to say upon my return.

First and foremost, let me just say, that in my many years of having this career as a writer, I have never been away for this long. Longest I’ve ever been away in the past was for two days. This time though, I was on the brink of total burnout. There are a lot of people on my Writer Page and I receive hundreds and hundreds of emails filled with life stories and the pouring out of hearts. When I’m on my page, I feel everything going on with all the people there. When I read emails from people, I feel their pain, happiness, sorrow, fear... I get lost inside the inner worlds of so many other individuals. And that is quite unfortunate on my part. Just for the record, my writings are not therapeutic for me. I know that many writers say they write in order to heal themselves and so on and so forth; but when I write, I am not putting myself through therapy. My writing isn’t a healing process for me. I’m not one of those writers. Nevertheless, my writings have become, for so very many— exactly that! Therapy. I have actual cases of people coming out of rehab thanks to the things that I have written! This always surprises me because the things that I write are simply my soul-stuff. We all have soul-stuff. I’m just different in that my soul-matter, evidently, happens to be made of ambrosia and honey? And apparently that’s something that the world needs? It also surprises me because I never began a career in writing with the intention of transforming lives! It just began to happen all on its own! It took on a life of its own!

Let me add to this by saying that, such has been the nature of my life, thus far. For some reason invisible to the naked eye, it seems like people are under the persuasion that I am responsible for being all the things that they can’t be, for their benefit. I can trace this back to my parents, relatives and everyone, really! I have had to put myself aside in order to accommodate the hearts of others. Of course, in the end they grow into something beautiful while I am left with all of their old wounds and without even a simple acknowledgment of my presence. As if my presence that I gave them in their lives was something they were entitled to have, as if I was a disposable commodity. I too often lost myself in the process of helping others find themselves and it is that exact feeling which I was beginning to have, all over again, with regards to my connections with the world, through what I do as an author.

I needed to step back and ask myself what I was doing. I was getting so caught up in everyone else, that I was beginning to lose sight of my core self. And that is always a “no, no.” Something negative starts happening inside you when you begin to breathe for everyone else and forget to breathe for yourself! Something wrong starts taking place when you begin to feel like all the things you learn and every single experience that you have is for the benefit of others and not yourself. You take on a lifestyle of breathing for other people, of experiencing and feeling and learning for other people rather than for yourself. I can imagine that many others would condone this or even praise this; but this just isn’t my path. I don’t believe in breathing and feeling for others. I believe I was born for myself. And then for a very few others who have played or who will play a big role in my life, my journey. I think that when you begin breathing for the rest of the world— your lungs are going to stop functioning all too soon. You lose your vision, your senses... they become others’ vision and others’ senses... others’ breathing patterns instead of your own! You can throw pieces of yourself out there so much and so often, that you begin to lose those pieces and forget what they look like. It becomes frightening.

I have been able to truly breathe for myself and enjoy myself while away. I’ve been listening to music and reading my work (because, believe it or not, I write so much that I fail to ever step back and actually read what it is that I write!) And I have been laughing harder than I have laughed in a long time. And I always laugh really hard, but while away, I have laughed like a wild, wild thing over the smallest details of life (which is just the way that I was born— seriously, as an infant I fell off of things like high chairs and tables from laughing so hard, then I would land on the floor still laughing so hard, it amazed my parents how I didn’t break my bones or break my head open or something) and it’s been good to “get back to me.” I’ve been playing with kids until my legs have gotten covered in dust and dragonfly wings (!), I’ve been having quiet times of solitude and contemplation out in nature, I’ve been spending a whole lot more time with great, great, great friends and I have been rediscovering the beauty of the glazed doughnut. Oh, and going to Holiday cocktail parties.

It’s good to be back (both back to me and back to my career). But I am back this time in a new way. I am hereafter, going to keep breathing for myself. It’s a joy to hear from you and to write to all of you. Thank you for your continued loyalty.

A viaxe continúa!

C. Bells

Profanity in Literature

Today I want to discuss profanity in literature. The proverbial "bad word" that you come across in literature from writers like Bukowski, Hemingway, etc.

I was once confronted, a long time ago, for using profanity in a number of my writings. Just a very few number of my writings. The reader said: "Everything about you used to burst out into beauty until you said the "F" word and now you're just not beautiful anymore." Aside from that remark being very condescending and hurtful, it also came from a shallow place literature-wise. 

First of all, I'd like to say that I can count on my fingers the number of times that profanity has been used in any of my work. Secondly, I'd like to point out that profanity makes me laugh out loud. Like for real. "Bad words" make me laugh, and it always "lightens the atmosphere" for me. In any occasion, profanity has the power to make me laugh out loud. I really don't know why. Maybe it's just my perspective? I choose to giggle at words that offend others, maybe because they are just words and it's funny how others find the words offensive when they are not being used to harm or to assault or to attack anybody. Anything is offensive if it is used to hurt someone or to corrupt someone. Nothing should be offensive if it is not corrupting anyone or hurting someone. That's my take on the matter. We waste too much time being offended by small things, while truly offensive things are going on in the world such as poverty, famine, disease and etc.

Secondly, I'd like to point out how profanity can be so useful in the creation of literature depending on where and when it is used. The best user of profanity would have to be Charles Bukowski, in my opinion. The way he used it in his work, during his lifetime, is legend and he created epic pieces by the use of "bad words" at key places and key times in his poetry and other writings. Also, one of my favourite poems that I read before I became a writer (back when I was just a teenager) was a poem by Hemingway called "The Age Demanded." 

The Age Demanded

BY ERNEST M. HEMINGWAY

The age demanded that we sing

And cut away our tongue.

The age demanded that we flow

And hammered in the bung.

The age demanded that we dance

And jammed us into iron pants.

And in the end the age was handed

The sort of shit that it demanded.

And so as you can see here, that moment of "gist" in this poem is expressed immaculately and precisely, by the use of the word "shit" and somehow, it doesn't make me laugh in this poem. Rather, it makes the soul of the whole poem take root within me. If not for the use of the word "shit" here, it just wouldn't have hit home.

Empaths— Apaths— Sociopaths

I chanced upon this article today, it showed up in my Facebook newsfeed after being "liked" by one of the people on my friends' list. I must say, I feel compelled to share it here on my blog, as I don't think I've read any article so incredibly accurate, before! I have found myself nodding the whole way through it. Please enjoy the read and glean whatever information you can. Empathic people are natural targets for sociopaths— protect yourself.

The Kingdom of God is Within

The first time I heard about people following a concept "to a t" was when I heard the story of my mother only feeding me every four hours as an infant. It didn't matter if I was crying my head off; if it wasn't exactly on the four-hour mark, she wouldn't feed me. She told me that she would stand by my crib, crying, looking at her wrist-watch, waiting for the four-hour mark. Exactly four hours. Why? Because it was a new "concept" being practiced in their church. Every mother in their Protestant Christian church was encouraged to feed their infants only every four hours, as prescribed by a Christian author/mentor of some sort. Since it's what the church said and it's what everybody else in church was doing— it's what she chose to do, too. She chose to follow this concept like a sheep following the master's staff. The problem is— the "master" here wasn't God. Why this concept? You may be thinking right now. Well, supposedly, it would "diminish and eliminate" the "spoiled sin nature" of a child by "not feeding the baby every time it wants to be fed."

So that was the very first example that I ever knew, of how people follow concepts taught by others, to a t. No questions asked, heart and mind ignored— just follow because someone claiming to be close to God said this was God's way of eliminating sin from an infant. And it had all the scientific backing, too! The thing about science though, is that ten years later and the previous theory is always proved wrong. And then if you are product of that theory or a practitioner of it, ten years later you are sitting there, going "Oops" or worse "I'm screwed." Oh and just so you know? The theory of feeding infants only every four hours was indeed proved wrong some ten years later.

People read too much, people listen too much, people follow too much, people look up too much to other individuals who they don't even know. Now, as an author, I know too well that I can say whatever I want to say, put it into a book, and people will buy it and follow what I say. I know that it's possible, because I have those tools at my fingertips. I don't do that, though. I don't give people formulas and tell them what to do with their lives. Delivering messages of basic truths is not the same thing as giving people exact formulas of how to handle their lives, what choices to make, what to do in order to get this specific result, and etc. There is a line that's crossed, I believe, when you take advantage of your influence over people and succumb to trying to "persuade" rather than trying to "share." Sharing and influencing are two completely different things. I don't want to influence anybody. I only want to share. And that's why the things I share are mostly called "quotes" because I deliver drops of essence of basic truths, because that's all that people need, anyway. People really don't need a 500-page book telling them what to do with their lives, what kind of outlook to have, and what exactly to do. Truth is powerful enough, truth only needs a single drop on the tongue and if it is indeed truth— that single drop on the tongue will be enough to change a life. I don't believe in telling people not to feed their infants unless it's on the four-hour mark, I don't believe in telling people how to love other people, or how to raise a family, or how to be in a good relationship. There are basic truths, there is wisdom, and the truth of truth and the wisdom of wisdom— is that it is enough. Truth and wisdom don't need a bunch of "fillers" to make a thicker book or a longer speech. Sometimes I have been invited to hold live speeches in front of audiences and I have said "For what? Ten minutes? Who in their right mind will show up for a speech lasting ten minutes?" What am I going to do? Quote myself?

My own tragedy happened when I, as a teenager, read a book by Dr. James Dobson. It was a book written for teenagers, teaching teenagers what love meant. According to Dr. Dobson, love is not something that you feel in your heart; rather, it is a decision that you make in your mind. And that whole entire, thick book boils down to that one line. I applied that to my life just like every other teenager in church who was reading it and as a result, I robbed myself of the ability to feel love in my heart. I had decided that Dr. Dobson was right and that love was a decision made in the mind and that decision of mine made all the difference in my life. All the negative difference. What a robbery. What a hoax. But that was a long time ago and now I know that love is developed and felt within the heart and then the decision to commit oneself to that love is made in the mind, thus influencing all the members of the body into this burning flight of madness and peace.

The thing about reading these kinds of books is that they make you feel like you have an advantage over the entire population of society. They make you feel like you've reached a "better place" of knowledge. And of course, that's what the authors and the publishers want you to feel like, because that's how they make money! But the truth is this. The truth is that everyone who writes a book or makes a speech or preaches in church is just another person. And everyone needs to make money. Even people in church need to make money.

I believe that every person on earth is just as close to God as every other single person on earth. God is there. God is beside you, all the time, every single second. It only takes an opening of a window and the rest is up to Him. Nobody needs to teach anybody how to walk through a door; that first step is taken by simply showing somebody where the door is. Every soul has a distinct Destiny. A distinct Honor. A distinct Love.

The only books of guidance that I follow are the ancient ones. The ones that can be downloaded for free, were written about a thousand years ago, that nobody's making money off of. Books of learning, books of discovering wisdom and truth. Basic truth. Basic wisdom. No manuals, thank you. Our intuition and foresight must be our manuals. See, the problem with the world today is that people don't seem to have intuition anymore. People cannot see beyond what's in front of their eyes. And that's because everything is spoon fed to them. People are used to having manuals that come in every shape and size— from Cosmopolitan Magazine to Christian Literature. Nobody exercises their extra senses anymore; everybody relies on somebody else. Everybody relies on roadmaps. Everybody wants a blueprint; nobody uses instinct, nobody uses understanding, nobody has foresight, clairempathy, claircognizance, clairsentience, etc. etc. etc. People put these things in the backseat in favour of someone else telling them exactly what to do with their lives. The new generation is indeed inferior to the ancient ones. Yes, we have science now, and all that... but then what? Science prolongs people's lives; but what kind of lives are being prolonged these days? And for what? Where are people going? What are people doing? How are people thinking?

The worst "manuals" that I have come across in this modern day and age— are those by Robert Greene. How to master the art of seduction, how to master the art of power, and etc. Bringing out the pitfalls of humanity, magnifying them, putting those dirty pitfalls up onto a pedestal, enthroning them, enhancing them... and these books are best sellers.

Please, before you follow anything to a t, try seeing your soul as worthy enough to be instinctive, empathic, cognizant, foreseeing, sensing, visionary... the Kingdom of God is within.

The Doe

The Doe

If they had not torn it out of me

Away from me

The soft feathers

Of the cygnet

Would still be growing from

My fingertips

And

Had they not ripped it

From my chest

The heart of the doe

Would still beat within me

But I was torn

And I was

Ripped

So now I collect the feathers

Of the baby swan

I stick them back onto my

Fingertips

And I have

Received a new heart

The heart of a doe

She gave up her life

To restore my soul

I have lost

And I have found

Again

Copyright © 2013 C. JoyBell C. All rights reserved.