More Beautiful

More Beautiful
(December 8, 2009)

It is said that when you are too wonderful, others will take advantage of you, and so you ought to stop being too wonderful. I disagree. If you are too wonderful, never lower yourself because others are ordinary. And if they take advantage of you- that is not because you are too wonderful- that is because they are too ordinary.

I have learned that the more I give of myself, the more that I receive. Now, this is something which is often stated and quoted and re-quoted. The more you give, the more you receive. But when things are always said over and over again, they become stagnant and boring.

What I have learned is neither stagnant nor boring.

You see, we are taught to be afraid to give too much. People around us will tell us that we are short-changing ourselves by putting too much heart into something (or someone) by caring too much, by teaching too much, by loving too much, by being there too much, feeling too much, thinking too much, giving too much. And so, we are often persuaded and taught into believing that we should be afraid of not getting back enough in return.

But see…this is what I have experienced…when we give of ourselves too much… we get of our own selves- also- too much in return. We shouldn’t look to the receivers for what we should get in return but we should look within ourselves for what we can give to ourselves in return!

Look here…we do not short-change ourselves when we don’t receive from another the equivalent of what we have given. The reality is that we short-change ourselves when we fail to see ourselves as sufficient enough to be able to give and to grow. To be able to be the one planting the seeds and at the same time be the seed itself that is planted, that sprouts, that grows and blooms and blossoms and then glories in the beauty of the sunlight!

We short-change ourselves when we limit ourselves and say “Wait. I have given enough. Now if I do not receive the same, I will wilt and die.” When in fact, we can be so much more than that! We can be both the hand that plants the seed and the beautiful blossoming tree when the seed is fully-grown, including all those stages in between!

We are so much more than what we think we are! And the more that we give of ourselves, the more seeds that we plant, the more that we ourselves grow! And though others are benefited, it is us who is the growing seed, it is your own self that is the flowering tree under the sun!

So each time we give a piece of ourselves to someone, it is like we have planted a seed in that person’s garden. And sometimes, some people are just so dull and lifeless that you have to keep on planting seeds over and over again! And regardless of whether or not they are wonderful enough to plant seeds in your garden as well- one thing is for sure- your seeds are planted, and you yourself will grow!

If in the end you must walk away from this person, you have no reasons to neither regret nor despair. Because in the end, you will be more beautiful.

© 2009 C. JoyBell C. All rights reserved.


  1. I have to agree with you. It seems like we are are able to replenish ourselves the more we reach out to others. Of course, there are times we feel weary and don't want to make the effort - that is just normal - but those periods pass. At least, for me they do. I have gained so much, personally, from others. People caution - be careful, you'll be used...but I don't ever feel used.

  2. Very interesting post! Love in our hearts is not put there to stay. Love is not love 'til you give it away! My Source of this Love is the Lord Jesus Christ - it is through Him I am replenished - abundantly and much more than I ever need! My desire is to have Him be seen in me and that is true beauty!

  3. What a beautiful idea that with acts of kindness we plant seeds. It is too funny that some people need more seeds than others! I think sometimes we can never know what effect our actions can have on other people.
    It's certainly a wonderful post for this time of year in particular!

  4. This is an excellent post.I try to plant my seeds with as many people as I can. I try to do good and don't expect to get anything in return.But as they say What goes around comes around.

  5. I'm back.I just wanted to say I am sorry if you had mean grand parents.I assure you I am not.If you like I will be your Internet Grampy.

  6. Hi Charity! You made me cry. You are such a beautiful person inside and out. You make me strive to find all the goodness in the world. I'm so glad to have met you and call you my friend. Merry Christmas! Love and Hugs, Jennifer

  7. Hello, C!

    I loved what you wrote in your article ... Congratulations for the talent and high spirit that give evidence!

    Many kisses,


  8. Dear Charity,

    Best wishes for Christmas and the New Year to you and yours ...Sending much love to you from cold Canada.

    Peace, Love & Happiness
    From Zuzanna

  9. Dear Charity, thank you for the warm wishes for this special season of the year!

    Much love,

  10. Beautifully written Charity.
    I love this line...
    The reality is that we short-change ourselves when we fail to see ourselves as sufficient enough to be able to give and to grow.

  11. C, when you give of yourself, from your heart you always receive the greatest of gifts. Very eloquent, my dear.

  12. such a wonderful piece...

    remember the house of mirrors? how people treat you is exactly the way you treat them... :-)

    God bless and keep on inspiring people! :-)

  13. RNSANE... yes, we ought to not be wary of being used when we see ourselves as ever-abundant, self-sufficient, ever-growing, an eternal wellspring. Nobody can steal from us. We are self-replenishing.

    Thank you for your comment and for your visit. :)

  14. Karin...that is such a beautiful desire, Karin :) Thank you for visiting and commenting :)

  15. Grampy...what goes around comes around. That's true.

    My grandparents weren't mean. But I had strict grandfathers. :)

    Thank you for commenting and visiting. :)

  16. Sares...yes I suppose so...a wonderful post for this time of year in particular. :)

  17. Jennifer...

    I'm very very touched having read your comment for me.

    I am very moved that my writing has made you cry, and that to you, I am someone who makes you strive to find all the goodness in the world. Your words are like honey. :)

    Always strive to find all of the goodness in the world. And when you have a hard time finding it, visit me! I'm like a portal! hahahaha! :)

    I also consider myself blessed to be able to call you my friend, Jennifer. :) :)

    I wish you magic for your Holiday Season and for the New Year in front of us! Full speed ahead! On magical waves we sail! Ahoy!!!!

  18. are a very sweet reader of mine, and your visits always leave me with a smile on my face. :)

    Thank you. :) For the smiles and also for the comments and the visits, you are ever-sweet! :)

    Much magic for you for your Holidays! :)

  19. Dawn...thank you. :) I'm glad my words have touched you. :)

  20. Shutterbug/ Joanne... That is true, Joanne...from your heart. :) From your heart!!!!! :)

  21. Thank you, Zuzanna! :) Love to you for your Holiday season and way beyond! :)

  22. Mike... how are you enjoying your Holidays so far? :) I hope very much enjoyment for you! :)

    Thank you so much for being so kind to me, always. :)

    And I am very touched and humbled to be a source of inspiration for you. :)

    Unfortunately, how we treat others isn't always how they treat us. But that is not our folly. That is just a hole that they are stuck in.

  23. I just want you to know that your name makes me happy "Charity Joy Bell" I love it lol =)
    Back to the post, you are right! I think we need learn about ourselves when we give. We also need to stop expecting something every time we give something! Just do something because it feels good & it's the right thing to do=)
    Great Post Hun
    Smooches & Blessings0_O

  24. Hey, good post, Charity!

    You have a solid sense of self which is your creativity together with being naturally generous! It's impossible to be giving without being centred within oneself.

    Some of us are farmers, but I do honour the hunter types, the movers and shakers of this world,
    they follow an inward truth of their own, although they are less emphasised of compassion.

    The Taos were said to be very strict, as in harsh dispositions, they cultivated Truth, a warrior like solitude is what they kept, they are super rational unmoved emotionally, lifes just a tranquil equation to them. They seek God that way. Hunters. The Carlos Castenadas of this world.

    Then there's the Bodhisattvas of Compassion, and Saint Mary - they are moved by humanities plight, and they are selfless. Farmers.

    Those are the two different types people veer toward some are a mixture of both, some are farmers, some are hunters.


  25. Thanks, D! You are so sweet to me!!!! :) I'm tickled that you love my name so much!!!!! :)

    Zub (Freedom For China)....Thank you so much for sharing this with all of us, although, I think there are a lot more ways to be that just 2 ways! You can hold absolute truth with at the same time, also having absolute compassion! Compassion, I think, does not fight truth! And truth does not fight compassion! Cheers Zub! Merry Christmas! Thank you for your comment!


I love to hear from my readers and friends, you touch my heart, so please feel free to leave me a note (or two). ♥

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