On Horseback


On Horseback
(May 23, 2010)


I think that if you have a horse, pegasus, qilin, or unicorn, you should sit on it! You should stroke its hair, whisper in its ear, be one with it! And you shouldn't feel sorry if other people don't have one.


My mother has always been my number one critic. If she is not the first to criticize me, she is surely the one to let me know if anyone else is doing the job for her and what exactly they are saying about me.

I was about twelve or thirteen when she confronted me one day, her eyes like daggers to my soul “Look at yourself! You sit up there upon your horse high up there while all the rest of us are walking around down here! This is what people are saying about you!”

She looked at me in disgust.

I was still a young girl. But in the matter of a few moments, right then and there, I had decided that this is where it would end. This is where I would stop allowing myself to be picked to pieces.

And I said something that etched a look on my mother’s face- one that to this day- I still remember vividly.

I looked at her straight in the eye. Face held high.

“It is not my fault if I have a horse and everybody else doesn’t. And should I dismantle myself from my horse because other people don’t have one? I will ride here on the back of my horse. And nobody can push me off of it!”

There are no words to describe my mother’s face. But maybe that was the beginning of her saying to me (and she always says this to me) “Who are you and where do you come from? Tell me. I want to know more.”

Until this day, my mother remains my biggest critic. But, she will never say that she knows me. She will only say that she doesn’t know the things that I know.

And though she is still first to challenge me, there has been no talk of horses, ever since!

I have learned that people don’t like it when you have a horse and they don’t. They want to grab you by your hair, pull you down off of it, and drag you along in the mud and the mire and the dirt and the grime on the ground for a whole straight mile! And if they can get away with it, even ten whole straight miles! And when you are all bloody and dirty and defeated, they will go ahead and kill your horse right in front of you.

Like me, you have to make that decision. You have to look people (or yourself) in the eye, face held up high, and think (or say out loud like I did) “I will ride here on the back of my horse. And nobody can push me off of it.”

© 2010 C. JoyBell C. All rights reserved.


C. JoyBell C. dot com

17 comments:

  1. Hi Charity,

    I loved this story and glad that you can hold you head up high and be proud of yourself.

    Have a lovely week
    Hugs
    Carolyn

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  2. Hi,C!

    Beautiful story!!

    Have a beautiful day and a lovely week!!!

    Kisses from Romania,

    Irina

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  4. My dear Charity,

    I think there are those that would push us to the ground, on horseback or not, because they are jealous of us, our success, or because they feel threatened by us for some reason or other. We must simply pick ourselves up and stand our ground.

    Good for you!! I'm glad you were able to stay mounted!

    I'll order your book soon...trying to get sorted out about my move, etc, which will be happening in a month or so, I think.

    My book of poetry is out now, too:

    My book of poetry, “Life's Journey” is available now at Amazon.com at:
    http://www.amazon.com/Lifes-Journey-1-Carmen-Henesy/dp/1451547366/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1274653464&sr=1-1

    Poems about the things that have been important to me in my journey through life, some humorous, some sad, some that may have meaning to you as well.

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  5. I can just picture this scenario playing out. I can totally relate to your mother when she ask "where did you come from" I have a child that has God - given insight at a young age and I wonder where in the world she gets it from. I was so clueless at that age.
    ♥ Joy

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  6. aaaawww.... Joy.... for some reason... your comment is making me emotional..... thank you ....

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  7. You go right on ahead and ride your horse! Your words and actions are an inspiration to us all. The world would be a sadder place without it.

    I'm sorry your mother was so hard on you. Mothers can be like that sometimes. Some more than others. But you were strong and stood up to her. Very few can do that.

    I finally got your book! I can't say which piece I like best because I like them all. And I'm going to be re-reading it a lot!

    As to the mailing time, I know from the Etsy folk that mailings across the seas can sometimes take a while. So, I wasn't worried. I got my copy through Amazon.

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  8. Giddy up girl!
    My mother is my biggest fan & best friend but at the same time she can also be very critical & make me feel bad about myself like no one else can!(Are you wearing that? What size is it? You should cut your hair. You should try this tuna & popcorn diet... etc...) These days I thank God everyday that I still have her, the good & the bad.

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  9. Oooh, mothers...a touchy subject for me. I feel as though I know how you felt, though I didn't handle my situations so assertively. What a strong and determined girl you were...that's good and you're a better adult for it, I'm sure. Lovely story. :o)

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  10. Conforming to what others expect is never fun... wish I've been as assertive at 12 or 13 as you were. :)

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  11. I wish I had known you as a child Bells. I know we would have been fast friends and I am sure your imagination would have fascinated and amazed me even then! Ride on Bells, ride on!

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  12. Thank you everyone. ♥ ♥

    Sares~ Of course we would have been best friends! Horseback-ridin' best friends we would've been!!!!! :) :) :) And I'd be coming over to your place borrowing all of your pretty stuff!!!!! hehehehehe

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  13. It arrived today! And it's wonderful! So it took less than a month, that's OK. I'll take my time to read it, today I started with the acknowledgements page (he, he): thank you!

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  14. Great story. You wouldn't want to hear mine. It is easy to see you have held your head high and will continue to do so.
    Have a sparkling day.

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  15. Hi Fullet.... heheheeh.... no, thank YOU. :)

    Hi Grampy ♥ ♥

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  16. What a brilliant way to tell the world how proud you are, and you have every reason to be so.
    As from where you come from.......... you and I know the answer to that little angel.

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