EAVESDROP (on the matter of having a son)

EAVESDROP (on the matter of having a son)
(October 15, 2010)

“What does it feel like to have a son?”

“Having a son is a commitment. But it’s not one that I figure out, or reason with, or rationalize about. It is an instant commitment. A commitment which is made with every piece of skin on my body. My blood, my flesh, my skin— it all runs after my son and takes ahold of him— always. When I look at him, when I stand beside him, when I am with him— there is no difference I feel between him and I, except for the fact that I love him more than myself and that he is more amazing. There are no lines. There is no pretension. There are no differences, there are no separations and there is nothing to be distinguished. We are us. And that’s just the way that it is. We are us.”

“That is powerful. Very powerful. I can feel it.”

“Yes it is.”

“Is this the most powerful thing? To have a son?”

“I compare it to nothing. So I make no comparisons. We are us. This is ours. Ours is mine. Mine is his. We are what we are, and there is nothing to compare, there are no comparisons!”

“This sounds significant!”

“This is significant! This is defiant. This is almost rebellious. It is. And it is on the verge of so many other wonderful things; like an overwhelming tenacity, a complete veracity. To have a son is something which does not fall into a level of anything else which exists. Because there are no levels. It is simply what it is. And this simple matter cannot in a million years be replaced by anything or anyone else.”

“What is your son’s name?”

“His name is Gilead.”



© 2010 C. JoyBell C. All rights reserved.

8 comments:

  1. Hi Charity,

    Such a beautiful and poignant story today about your dear Son.
    Sons are precious, and know I have much the same feeling towards mine. He has the flu this weekend and is trying to finish his Uni project which is due soon.
    Thanks for visiting me and I hope that you are having a lovely weekend

    Hugs
    Carolyn

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  2. Having a son is most significant and such a gift from God. You two are so blessed to have each other.
    ♥ Joy

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  3. I have a daughter, but the feeling is much the same. Incomparable and irreplaceable.

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  4. Hi Charity, I can relate. Yes I would do anything for my kids!

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  5. I haven't any children, but I can imagine the bond is nearly unexplainable, however you have explained it so beautifully! He may not be able to fully appreciate your words being so young, but when he gets older I am sure he will cherish them with all his heart.

    You asked where exactly I live on a previous post Bells? If you email me I will give you a more definite location. I don't think I have your current email, mine is on my blog sidebar. Hope you're having an awesome week!

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  6. Hi Charity.
    Very beautiful story. I have five daughters. I have five because I was looking for a son.I love them just as much. And now I have my son's.Four grandsons.

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  7. What a beautiful post! It is something all parents should experience. thanks for putting these feelings into words.

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