My greatest fear in life, is that I might forget to live in my pursuit and desire to write. I read about other authors who say that writing IS living and without writing, there is no life. But writing isn't living, writing is only a by-product of living, that is what I think. Henry David Thoreau once said: "How vain it is to sit down and write, when you have not stood up to live." and that quote resonates with me as an author; I think that through many various pieces, I have expressed my lust for life and my fear of losing life to the act of writing. I see too many authors spending 15 hours a day (or more) dedicated to writing, promoting themselves, marketing their work, building their name and it scares me because I don't want to become like that. They say that is the path that needs to be taken in order to become a successful author, but I doubt that nature of success. Is it really success when you forget your original dream in the race of fulfilling other people's expectations? Is it really success if it doesn't make you happy?
You will understand more of how I feel, while reading this short piece below, the first of others I have recently written that are similar to it in expressing the same sentiments...
A Moveable Banquet
If I write two hundred books, and through those books I give many people windows from which to jump out of and begin living, yet in doing so I have forgotten my own life; I will not consider myself to be successful. But it is when I reflect upon myself in a living, breathing, illuminated moment that I will catch a true glimpse of who I am and I will say "I am a success. I am alive. I am living."
I don't want to be standing on the sidewalk watching my life go by like a train bound for Rome, no! I want to be on that train, I want to live my life, every minute of it. This is my train, these are my tracks. I will stop at living gardens and succulent vineyards, flourishing festivals and dancing carnivals! And I will fill this train with all of my bounty! Wherever I am, there is a moveable banquet! Prepared and laden for me! I will not take one step towards the direction of the sidewalk, I don't want to miss even a single moment of this train ride, of this festival, of this moveable banquet!
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