I just wrote this today. It being Halloween and seeing every horror film known to man flash on the t.v. screen as I scan my television channels, I found the chance to sit down with my son Gilead, in front of a horror film, and explain fear to him, explaining the mechanisms of fear while watching it. I put the t.v. on mute and I showed him that we're not actually afraid of what we're seeing on the screen, but we're afraid of what we're hearing, because of the emotions evoked by the frightening sound track. My talk with him flowed and as we finished our discussion, the t.v. was off and we weren't even the least bit interested in turning it back on again; we were more interested in having discussed the nature of fear. This is something that I want to share with all of you. I didn't plan to write any such thing, but it happened, and so I hope that you will benefit from the writing below.
I used to battle fear as if it was a troll on my back. I would have actual panic attacks and couldn't even stand up! During that time, I got to know fear very well (how it smells, how it moves, how it rears it's ugly head). I want to share my knowledge of fear with you, during this time that all the world is celebrating it.
The nature of fear is that it feeds off of the knowledge that you are afraid of it. Fear to you, cannot grow unless it starts from the smallest thing and then feeds off of the knowledge that you are afraid of that small thing it has presented to you and then it feeds off of that, growing into something a little bigger, then into something bigger than that, and so on and so forth. Think of it as a succession of steps. You have to take the first step in order to get to the second, the second in order to get to the third, and its a lot of steps before you get to the top and become so consumed by fear that it's actually capable of paralyzing you.
The key is peace. An immoveable inner peace. Peace is a deep, permanent lake inside of your soul that is always still and calm no matter what may be going on around it. The eye of the storm. That immoveable, deep lake is always there no matter what, but if you don't know that it's there and if you don't believe in it, your battles with fear will always be futile, because one cannot combat fear with one's head. Fear is to be combated with the soul because it is a thing of the soul, it is not a thing of the material world. The truth is that, fear flees in the presence of peace that passes all understanding, peace is so much more powerful than fear, but you move away from that eternally serene lake the moment that you take that first step in the direction of fear. It begins with the smallest things, comparable to a tasty bait at the end of a fishing hook!
The answer to knowledge of the spiritual is not to seek out to understand evil, but it is to remain in peace. Remain is a strong word, it means that you are going to stay there with a choice to stay there; that means staying there no matter what. And the easiest way to lose your peace is by believing that you're not good enough to have it, because of all your humanly sins. Good for me, because I believe that I'm no longer accountable for any of my sins past present and future, because Someone made that ultimate sacrifice for me already, taking my place. No matter how human I am, I am worthy. I don't work to have peace, it's given to me, but I must choose to remain in it.
You must always remain in the peace that passes all understanding, remain in the eye of the storm, remember the deep, immoveable lake inside of your soul and when you do find this peace and dwell in it, I'm telling you right now, that you will have with you the greatest weapon of all!