Regarding Men (A Note for Women)

         If there is some advice that I would give to all women, regarding men, that would be to look for a simplicity of character and a strength of will. There seems to be a "fad" these days, a fad for complex characters, disturbed and weak minds... sick reasonings that wish to be entwined in some kind of endless maze... women are supposed to be drawn in by that or something. But don't be. All of that disturbed complexity is just self-centeredness, a fear of being mundane, a fear of being forgotten, a fear of being not good enough. But it is all of this fear that makes a man not good enough, to begin with. Even the false pretense of having no fear, is a fear in itself. The mark of a man who is courageous and brave, is the man who is brave enough to be simple, courageous enough to be vulnerable. The whole old story of a sheep in wolf's skin (yes, a soft heart in a hardened exterior) should not have any appeal to a woman. Because that hardened shell and exterior— that's just evidence of a boy who never grew up. And you're not his mother, nor should you want to be his mother! And it is only your own vanity that makes you want to be the one to "break open" that shell! And so you have become equally self-centered as he is! Self-centeredness is not a foundation for anything lasting between two people who want to be in love.
         I'm not the kind of woman to pat a man on the top of his head and allow him to indulge his stupidities. I have an innate demand for vulnerability and simplicity of character (which is the mark of a courageous, grown man) and strength of will (which is another mark of a real man.) Sometimes, you really need to give up on someone for the simple reason that they do not deserve you!
         You don't need to fulfill some vain fantasy that you have in your mind, you don't need to fall in love with the idea of your heroine self saving a man from all of his loneliness and stupidities. A man must change his own stupidities and he must pursue you in order to rid himself of his loneliness! A man will do things for himself because he can, because he is capable, because he won't give up.
         Sometimes I think that the reason why the quality of men is so low these days, is because women are always around to indulge them in all of their lack and inadequacy. I think that to change men— we must change ourselves— us women. If we want them to come up to higher standards, then we must be those standards, we must maintain those standards. Woman can change the world by changing her point of view, her perspectives, her mind, herself.

4 comments:

  1. That spoke to me but that's hardly news. Everything you write connects with me. Somethings connect more than others- that's all.

    You are absolutely right when you say we must raise the bar on our expectations. Unless we do that, how is there to be an improvement. As they say, you will always get more of what you reward!

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  2. I just found your website. Thankyou for sharing. This is wonderful.

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  3. This is just what I needed to read. This speaks to me greatly at this moment. Simply, thank you for this post.

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  4. ''a piece of writing is a dangerous thing, it can change your life'' i don't know who said that. but this piece of writing of yours, definitely help me realize my worth. thank you so much, i needed it today. keep writing, there is always this silly girl in other side of the earth waiting for your magical words to be published, waiting to read them and fall in love with my life one more time.

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