I believe that the moment a girl realizes that she is beautiful— she experiences a sacred transformation. I truly believe that beauty holds a sacred place in the throne of woman. We are not born feeling like we are beautiful, or at least, not realizing our full potential/the full potential of our beauty; but there are pivotal points in our lives when our beauty begins to unfurl in our eyes and we realize the extent of its reach therein. These pivotal points are crucial and delicate. I believe that the growth and direction of a girl is greatly determined by these crucial and delicate "zones" created by words, experiences, observations and impressions. And one could argue, "Something as shallow as beauty?" but it is nonsense to argue such a thing. The apex of all wisdom and honor is beauty and many an ancient Grecian Philosopher has expressed that. According to those demigods like Plato, beauty is the holy grail of why we search for anything, at all! The problem lies in today's modern associations with "beauty." People see things so vulgar and ignorantly call them "beautiful." It is the stupidity of man which is shallow; it is not beauty that is shallow. Beauty is at the crown, the highest reach of wisdom, honor, gold...
I believe that it is crucial how your daughter comes to realize her beauty. If she comes to associate her own sense of beauty born out of comparisons to other girls; unfortunately, she will continue to glean that by comparing herself to other women, throughout her life. We all know this is not a beneficial way to feel that you are beautiful— through comparing yourself to other women! Now, if a little girl realizes her sense of beauty at an early age, associated with experiences that are innately and eternally strong and fortified (e.g. the realization that the rose is beautiful and that she, like the rose, is a beautiful creation) then her belief in her own beauty will in turn take on that same form— the form of the beautiful creation that she has come to associate herself with/as. Imagine talking to your small child, telling her, "You are as the eternal Sun that rises and sets in the dawns and in the twilights, a beautiful creation unattached from the criticisms and faults of mankind." Just imagine what kind of a woman that little girl will grow up to be! Now think about how useless it is for your daughter to realize her beauty and self-worth based upon what boys think of her or based upon what her friends think of her or what the media thinks of her! If she associates her own beauty with that of what she sees in magazines, on television, or from what kind of "feedback" she gets from boys— she is going to become a woman full of insecurities, not knowing who she really is! If she's not a model— she's not beautiful enough, if she's not sleeping with every guy at school— she's not beautiful enough, if she's not a beauty queen title holder— she's not beautiful enough! These are all false perceptions. Just perceptions. And yet it is these perceptions that mold and form our daughters, our little girls!
The key is not in training our little girls to not care about being beautiful— that is not the natural order of things! But the key is being the vanguard of those very first steps she takes on the journey into seeing and placing her own beauty, her own attractiveness! She doesn't need to be only beautiful on the inside and not on the outside; but like the sunshine, she can be worthwhile, useful, meaningful, while bringing beauty to the dawns and to the dusks! What do our little girls equate beauty with? With creations in the sky everlasting, like the stars and the Moon? Like the beautiful constellations? Or do they only know what is beauty to the swine? The title of "beautiful" in exchange for sex, in exchange for attention, in exchange for making money for huge companies? Think about it. Really think about it.
When you look at your beautiful girl— associate her with things immortal— and tell her that. Bring her belief in her beauty up so high that it exceeds the reaches of mankind's mortality and lies. Save your little girls.
And what about you? You the mama? You the grown woman? Do you look back at the first conceptions of beauty in your mind, at those first perceptions of yourself that you had and think to yourself, "It's too late for me!" But no, it is never too late for one who is able to reach down into herself, know herself, know her soul and remake the fabric of her own spirit from the inside-out! You can change yourself, in your own eyes, by your own efforts! Take yourself back to when you were a little girl, speak to yourself, comfort yourself, see yourself! See yourself beautiful.
“And the true order of going, or being led by another, to the things of love, is to begin from the beauties of earth and mount upwards for the sake of that other beauty, using these steps only, and from one going on to two, and from two to all fair forms to fair practices, and from fair practices to fair notions, until from fair notions he arrives at the notion of absolute beauty, and at last knows what the essence of beauty is.” (Plato; The Symposium)
“Beholding beauty with the eye of the mind, he will be enabled to bring forth, not images of beauty, but realities (for he has hold not of an image but of a reality), and bringing forth and nourishing true virtue to become the friend of God and be immortal, if mortal man may.” (Plato; The Symposium)
“...when he looks at Beauty in the only way that Beauty can be seen - only then will it become possible for him to give birth not to images of virtue (because he's in touch with no images), but to true virtue (because he is in touch with true Beauty). The love of the gods belongs to anyone who has given to true virtue and nourished it, and if any human being could become immortal, it would be he.”