At the bottom of this blog, you will be able to read a disclaimer and it is one which has garnered many praises from other public figures who have said that the disclaimer deserves an award in itself (and thank you.) Today I would like to discuss this disclaimer and how it came to be.
There seems to be a recurring phenomena that goes on amongst people who read my work. It recurs and it seems to be an underlying issue/problem. I addressed it on my Facebook Page just very recently.
I think it is good that people feel like I am actually speaking what is in their hearts and their minds, but I believe it gets very much out of hand and becomes unhealthy. I would like to remind everyone that I am not actually speaking your heart and your mind. Therefore, a contradiction between your thoughts and feelings and my own thoughts and feelings is bound to happen again and again. When what I say contradicts you, this does not mean it contradicts me. I have watched, over and over again, how people go berserk when I say or write something that is not in agreement with their own beliefs and persuasions. Then they conveniently accuse me of having a problem with their opinions. But it is not I who has a problem with their opinions, it is they who feel betrayed when their persuasions and opinions are not reflected in my work! They will immediately go on a rampage, stating things like, "You used to inspire me, but after this you're just someone that I used to admire!" they will continue to accuse me of things I didn't even do or say, putting words into my mouth and giving their own definitions to the things that I am saying/writing. Anais Nin once said, that we do not see things as they are, but we see things as we are. This is often too true and this takes on a twist of its own on my page amongst my readers! Not only do some individuals put their own meanings into what I have written, but they also see me as an extension of themselves! As if we are one person! As if I am a seance and they are dead people! As if I must be corrected when I say something contradicting their own persuasions and ideologies! If I were a seance spiritualist, they would be the ghosts slapping me when I conveyed the "wrong" message to the "other side"!
I think that it is okay to feel like my words speak your own heart and mind, however, I know that this can quickly get bloody the moment you suddenly feel like that extension of yourself is "betraying" you. In reality, I am not "betraying" anyone. I have never tried, in any way whatsoever, to speak anyone else's heart or mind. If you feel that way, that is just how you feel. I go on my path, and this is my own path and when you turn that way and I turn the other way, this does not mean I have betrayed you and this does not give you license to accuse me of things and jump on me and complain about how you are hurt or betrayed or what not. As a matter of fact, I do not have any more room left in my soul to entertain your feelings of betrayal and hurt, towards me, due to anything that I write. I give more than what is normally given by a public figure. I give you all too much attention, to be honest. And I can't help myself because I am simply genuinely interested in everyone. I remember the faces of my fans on my page and I remember their stories (if they have told me their stories in the past.) I even become my fans' biggest fan! There are so many intelligent and beautiful people who are fans of my work and I end up being their fan, too! I remember normal, everyday people. I am like this in my profession and I am also like this in my every day, flesh-and-blood life.
At this point in time, I feel like it may be more beneficial for me to curb my habit of attention-giving to people. Someone has told me (and it's been reiterated by others), that I am perhaps "making demons out of mere mortals simply by giving them too much attention." And I feel this may be true for some select individuals. Apparently, I have been validating their sentiments by giving those sentiments too much importance through attention. This, according to some, "makes demons out of mortals."
I think I just like people, it's a habit in itself that is difficult for me to curb. At this point though, it might be more beneficial for me to make a habit out of simply banning troublesome individuals from my Page, or just ignoring their sentiments altogether. Maybe I am creating spoiled brats by catering too much to them. Maybe I should start using the "ban" button as I said I would. I've said this already in the past and in my page's descriptions but when I said that it was more of a joke than fact. But now maybe I should make it more into fact than fiction. Another person has told me that I should be "aloof" and I have been thinking, maybe he has a point. Maybe people can't take my constant presence.
Not under any circumstance do I accept the accusation that I do not allow people to have their own opinions. This is absurd. By all means, have your own opinions! But do not expect mine to be yours! This is my own path that I am making, with my work, with the things that I write... you're the ones joining in on my path. If you believe differently than I, this does not affect me, so that is why I don't care! You however, feel like what I believe in or what I express, affects you. Now there's the big difference right there. And that's why you jump all over me when my expressions contradict your own. And I would just like to clarify here, that I am not pertaining to every single person who reads what I write. I have many readers of sound mind and sound judgment. But I am pertaining to the select individuals who do seem to exhibit an unsoundness of mind from time to time.
I have a few choices. I could curb my habit of how I interact with people, altogether, or I could just ban the people I don't want around. Some just make a problem out of anything they can touch, this is their troublesome nature. If you validate their sentiments by giving time and effort to reply to them, they will say that you "care so much to defend yourself." But actually, you are giving them your time of day, not yourself! Then if you simply ignore them, they won't stop until you give them attention. Then if you ban them, they will go around saying that you ban people that "are of different opinion" than your own. Really, how can anyone expect the next generation to be a noble generation, when this generation of parents are shameful? I worry, you know. And I probably shouldn't even worry because I probably shouldn't even care. But then I do care. I care enough to have written a whole book on parenting!
So that is how my disclaimer on this blog came to be. It was created to remind people that I am not an extension of their hearts and minds. I am me and they are they.