I have been pondering upon the virtue of unforgiveness. It is a very startling realisation to have, a very enlightening discovery to make! Especially because we are all always pointed into the direction of forgiveness as the answer to all of our woes. We all believe, all the time, that forgiveness will save us. We have a million and one quotes on the subject, too! So it's been a very groundbreaking discovery for me to find that unforgiveness has its own virtue!
We try so hard to feel warmness in our hearts, towards people who have wronged us in ways that render them non-deserving of that warmth. We go on and on, year after year, telling ourselves we are "better people" because we have extended our grandeur upon those who hurt us, who misled us... we throw our "grandeur" over them and cloak them like we would cloak one in a blanket! Explaining away all their actions towards us, explaining away why they wronged us... extending ourselves, forcing ourselves to be graceful with them in our thoughts every time we remember them... when in fact what we should be doing is just forgetting them!
What we need to be doing is forgetting! Not really forgiving! Because some people don't deserve it! But they do deserve to be forgotten! And you deserve to forget them! When you try to cover your eyes with a filter of lovingkindness towards those who wronged you in ways that have negatively affected your outlook in life, in order to be a better person than they are, you are really putting yourself up to a struggle. In the first place, you don't need to try and prove that you are a better person than anyone! And doing so will probably put you in a worse place than they are in! Life's no good when you live it trying to prove that you're better than other people! You've got to create your own moments and live in them!
There is a virtue to be found in unforgiveness. There is virtue to be found in this particular lack of virtue. When I allow myself to see what exactly a person has done and how exactly a person has wronged me, instead of covering myself up in order to accommodate them, I am able to free myself from bondage! They say that forgiveness frees you from bondage, and that is true, but there are certain times when a lack of forgiveness is what is going to free you from bondage.
Some people have to be let go of, not because you forgive them and extend yourself for them, but because you forget them, because they are worth forgetting!