We all know that it is a travesty when a man puts his own physical safety over the physical safety of a woman. No one is happy to see a guy hide behind a tree, whilst watching his girlfriend being maulled by a lion. No one is going to be happy about a guy hiding behind a woman in order to dodge a punch or a kick! Nobody wants to see a man put his own physical safety before the woman's. And yet, what I observe so often these days, is how many men wouldn't even for a moment, put their own emotional safety second to that of a woman's. In fact, at the very hint that he might get hurt, many guys these days will lunge out and hurt her first, or, send out unnecessary warning signs that if she hurts him, he will surely hurt her back, and even worse than what she is capable of doing!
I used to know a guy who would so quickly say to me, "Anything you do to me, I can do to you, too" and that was just over innocent, lighthearted banter! It shocked me. What a shame to see a big, tall, strong man so quickly go into defensive mode over nothing! It really is akin to watching a turtle trying to climb into an oyster shell! I feel embarrassed for men who act like that. It's like me defending myself against a hummingbird, because I think that the sound of its wings might be something like a rattlesnake warning; but it's really not, it's just the humming of a pair of wings! I would be embarrassed of myself if I were to do such a thing, would I not? I would be embarrassed of my own ignorance.
Why do many men expect of themselves to be strong and big on the outside; but weak and small on the inside? Why is it all about what's on the outside that is supposed to matter? Okay, don't hit a woman, and that is supposed to make you a real man? Just because you don't hit a woman, that is supposed to mean you are a real man? So how do we define real men? Merely by their ability to control their fists? Wow, what neanderthal definitions we have for men these days!
There are so many men emotionally defending themselves from women, it's really a pitiful sight to see. They're strong on the outside; but not on the inside. You'd think women are really capable of hurting them! But then that makes me actually think... are women really that capable of hurting big, strong men? To the point that they've become like big turtles stuffing themselves into tiny oyster shells? And have men these days really been hurt to such a point that they no longer see women as beautiful creatures; but rather, some kind of conniving monsters that they need to be wary about and protect themselves from? Maybe it's time that women everywhere realise our potential to touch the lives of men either in a negative or a positive way, and become actively mindful and conscious of that capacity. Perhaps a lighter hand could create miracles, perhaps a gentler approach would do wonders— what do you think?
Look, let's get the record straight here— there are lots of women who have been hurt by men and there are lots of men who have been hurt by women. And for every feminist woman out there who says that she is just as strong as any man physically and emotionally, there are ten women like me who believe that men are in fact physically stronger and are also capable of being emotionally stronger. I have no problems with men being stronger than me! In fact, please men, everywhere, please be stronger than me! Please be stronger than women!
Every individual needs to see every other individual as a distinct person; and not through the filters of past experiences! It is very easy to fall into the trap of being unable to see a person standing in front of you, because the filters you hold over your eyes still bear the image of a person from a long time ago! I myself fall into this trap all too often and it's something that I consciously work on, in order to overcome it! Or maybe your eyes hold the vision of a person that you read in a magazine that isn't even a relevant part of your life and never will be a relevant part of your life, because he/she was just a person who wrote something in some magazine somewhere! Or you watch The Bachelor and you see manipulative, conniving women trying to win the bachelor's heart! But for Godsake, it's a T.V. show, they are of course conniving and manipulative, because they are there to be on a T.V. show! I know that I am very impressionable, and that I am so easily left affected and even hurt, by the things that I see, regardless of whether they are relevant events or factors in my own life, or not! But I have to stop and realise the truth. You need to do the same, too! All that stuff that's going on out there— that's not yours. And all that stuff that's happened to you before— that's over. Hurting someone emotionally, or allowing them to get hurt emotionally, whilst protecting your own self, is a very cowardly act. Wounds of the soul take longer to heal than wounds of the body.
I once said that there are so many fine men, everywhere, all of whom are so scared of the fish swimming in the river, that they instead stand at the riverbend, pointing at the fish, terrified of what the fish "mean." But for Godsake, they don't mean anything; they are just fish! And please do not let the woman jump into the river first before you, just to see if the fish will eat her or not! Maybe there are some women who would be happy to do that for you; but I am certainly not one of them, and I know that there are also others like me.
It is a very attractive thing to find a man who is strong on the inside, as he is on the outside. In fact, inner strength is not only a very attractive feature in all people, everywhere, but it is a necessary tool in life.