Today I've been thinking a lot about what it means to be and to grow up as a girl, into a woman. For some reason that I don't understand, it seems to be that girls constantly look for another girl figure to look up to. I'm really not sure if it's so much the same with boys; I haven't really noticed it that much with boys; but with girls I am sure that we grew up searching for a woman figure to look up to, and even as grown women, we search for "icons" to "emulate". Why is it that we never really feel secure about ourselves until we can compare ourselves and live up to an "icon"?
For many of us, it was our mother; for others our big sister/s, and so on and so forth. And sometimes our grandmothers or our cousins. We always search to look up to another, so we can be sure that we're going in the right direction. Eventually, we discover magazines and fashion shows and we end up wanting to be just like that Victoria's Secret Fashion Model; even though we have no idea who they are as people, what their thoughts are, what their dreams are and what kind of dreams they have when they go to sleep at night... we don't know anything about them aside from the fact that they are sexy and have lots of amazing material things all around them (including men left and right). And sometimes, they're beautiful, too! But the bottom line is that millions of girls and women are trying to emulate other women just because of the photos that they see of them in magazines and on Instagram! Not because of their thoughts or their dreams or anything substantial like that! That's not to say that beauty and fitness and material things are totally insubstantial; but that' just to say that we are not looking for enough in our role models, in our icons. And I believe that we need to look for more. It's totally amazing to admire and to be inspired by other women; but then I think that there should be more.
Better yet, why don't we become the things that we want to find in the world? Personally, I really didn't have a role model growing up. And that is not to allude to any ideas that the women around me were not up to par— because I'm sure that they were— but I took no role models, because I could not find the same dreams that I had, in any other! I could not find the same thoughts or the same things that I wanted to do! And so eventually I decided to be the person that I wanted to find in the world. And really, it is a very difficult thing to do. I, too, just like everyone else— I want to find a role model! I want to have someone to emulate, so it can make me feel more secure about myself! I am not a very secure person, because I don't have that fallback to whom I can rely on and say, "Hey, I'm pretty great because I'm just like so and so and she's great because the world thinks she's great, therefore I am great, too!" I don't have that, so I do think that I often feel less secure than the next girl who identifies herself with so and so movie star or supermodel. But then, on second thought, does that really mean that I am less secure, or does that actually mean that I am more secure? After all, my security lies in myself; instead of in another woman in a magazine whom I don't even know... so maybe I'm actually the one who's more secure?
I think that millions of young girls these days are really striving to find that one true role model, and it doesn't occur to them that they are capable of becoming what they are looking for, in another. It doesn't occur to them that they can be brave enough to become. Of course, I really don't think there's anything wrong with finding and emulating a role model, and hey, I still might find my own role model out there somewhere! But what I'm saying is that it's better for girls to know that they may become what they look for, in the world. They may become, they may become, they may become. And not just through influence, not just through emulation. But they may become themselves, who they are on the inside. And I think that physical things can be added to that foundation that's already been set in the mind, so that the physical things may be used as a form of unique self expression, one that is not entirely built around becoming like an ideal that is outside of oneself. So, what I'm saying is, that deep down inside of you— you girl and you woman— you are who you want to become! You really are! It's time to start looking inside of yourself to find the person that you want to emulate and the person that you want to be! And I promise you, that on your journey of becoming, there will be so many wings and petals flying off of you, that it will be enough to spark beautiful lights in the skies!