The following is an excerpt from a manuscript of mine that has not yet been published. When I do publish it, it will serve as a sequel to The Conversation of Merachefet. Anyway, I wanted to share this with all of you now. Do enjoy the read.
There is a downfall that happens when the focus of anything becomes self-centred. Look at the modern-day organisations of this world, even the ones that hail from the archaic schools of Divinity and Theosophy; they have become communities that are looking out for their own interests, looking out for how they are perceived. The downfall begins when the attitude turns from, “I am in this world and I am meant to do something in it, I am meant to traverse it, I am meant to discover it and discover things and living beings in it and I am meant to do good and to have good, and I am meant to know what this is and what this means and who they are and what their meaning is” into one of, “This world and all of the living beings in it must see me as this and must see me like this because this is how I should be seen as, because I am here for a reason and everyone needs to know that, everyone needs to discover me.” To the naked eye, it is almost the same thing, it is a subtle shift. But to the one who Sees— this is a profound shift that makes the difference between Heaven and Earth!
I am here for a purpose and I appreciate this world and this Earth; therefore I must discover it, because as I discover it and as I discover you in it— my own story will reveal itself to me. That is the mindset that is going to prevent a collapse into oneself. And when I say “collapse into one’s self” I do not mean like a collapsing star; but I mean a disintegration. Greatness ends where self-centeredness begins.
I guess you can call it a paradox— the fact that the ultimate journey is the journey to know oneself, to take the inward path into oneself, and yet self-centredness is the defeat of that very same inward journey! But there is a piece that people are missing and I want to show you that piece to this puzzle. You see, there are three parts of the Self. There is your outer shell, which is of course your body; there is your ego self; which is the one that will have you falling into self-centredness if you are not aware; then there is your True Self that is everlasting, the one we call “Soul”. There can be no self-centredness on the journey within Soul, because within Soul, no selfishness exists. You journey through the country that thrives within your inner lands and there is nothing selfish or moronic about journeying through, and discovering, a country! It is a country unseen, I already explained that earlier. This is the neverending journey of Soul, of You; this is not ego, this has nothing to do with the preoccupation of how you are perceived or how you present yourself to anyone or to the whole world!
Soul must honour Flesh and Flesh must honour soul. So, it is your outermost and your innermost faculties that must come together, love one another, and work with one another. This is the true Love of Self. This is the true act of falling in love with oneself.
Narcissism is not love of the self; narcissism is the preoccupation with the ego— with the part of the self that is in between the innermost and the outermost part of you. And it is not a love. No one should use the word “love” to term something which does not produce anything beautiful. The narcissist is preoccupied with the presentation of the faculty that is easily reactive, easily provoked, self-absorbed and insatiably self-gratifying. But this has nothing to do with love, not at all. The narcissist does not love himself; the narcissist does not know himself.
We are born into this world and the first things that we learn are our reflections in the mirrors— a physical form of self-awareness. We learn that our hands are there, existing at the ends of our arms; we learn that our feet are down there, existing at the ends of our legs; we gain an awareness of ourselves in relation to the space around us. This is all physical and this is okay. But it is the connection between this outermost faculty and our innermost faculty that is the key to Enlightenment and Awareness, that is the key to Freedom and Truth.
The problem that arises with many people, happens when they become stuck upon the middle faculty— the ego— they fail to discover the inner faculty and their sense of awareness becomes a loop, a cycle, of outer and middle stimulation; of physical and egotistical stimuli. The funny thing is that ego will always try to be equated to Soul, it will say, “I am in the spirit, I am in this sort of kindness, I am in this sort of awareness, I am in this sort of awakening, I am enlightened and unburdened and I follow the Dalai Lama and I am all about energies and spiritual roots and all that jazz. I’m on top in this way, my spirit is in tip top shape, I don’t understand why other people can’t be like this, why can’t other people get over their darkness like I have? They must be weak or they must be dumb.” This is the dialogue of ego, the one who wants to relate itself to Soul.
As a matter of fact, ego is not Soul and Soul will overcome ego. Or, it should overcome ego. It is not within Soul where the wild beasts are found; but it is within ego. Soul must conquer and victor over these beasts in the dark chambers of ego, thus bridging the gap between Flesh and the ultimate Inner Self.