Intuitive Parenting

       It is very important to have foresight and insight, as a parent. I think that foresight, insight and intuition are traits that need to be cultivated by parents, everywhere. We need these things when looking into our childrens' lives and into their surroundings. I believe that the greater majority of parents make judgements about their children, and their children's friends, based upon surface knowledge. Intuition rarely comes into the picture, at all.
       My son has an eclectic group of friends, everyone has their own flaws (because we all have our own flaws) and nobody comes from a "perfect" family background. In fact, my son's friends are people I probably wouldn't have been allowed to hang out with, back in my day (because my mom was just like any other mom when it came to these things). Say the word "shit" and you weren't allowed to hang out with me. Don't go to church and you weren't allowed to hang out with me. Go to church but don't read your Bible every day? Not allowed to hang out with me so much!
       I tell my son that we are not entitled to choose our friends based upon the flaws that fit our own acceptable criteria of flaws. I tell him that's wrong. His friends are really good people, who are true friends to him at heart. When he broke his wrist, they were at the hospital worried sick (and one of them was actually crying his eyes out). That's friendship. Friendship is not the coming together of perfect people; friendship is about being true to your friend, being there for your friend and feeling hurt when they feel hurt. Feeling happy when they feel happy. It's not about choosing perfect people and getting rid of less than perfect ones. If you base friendship on the latter, then you don't really have any friends at all. You just have pets!
       There are a few people I wouldn't allow my son to hang out with, because beyond their outward facade of politeness and sweetness, they easily say bad things and lascivious things behind other people's backs. And they're kids who go to church every week! They say "please" and "thank you" all the time. But then they'll turn around and say the worst things you can imagine about other people. And they're the types that other parents would love their children to be friends with! But parents aren't using their insight, they're not using their foresight, intuition, there is nothing going on below the surface level! But I warn my son about staying away from those types of people, I tell him that we choose our friends based upon how true they are, how genuine they are, and if they feel hurt when we are hurt and happy when we are happy. Do they hurt when you hurt? Are they happy when you are happy? Then they are good people, then they are your friends.
       I encourage parents, everywhere, to use the extra senses when looking into your children's lives. Use your extra senses when making decisions that involve your children, use your extra senses when analysing the best decisions to make regarding your child/children and their environments and the people that are allowed to surround them. Don't make decisions floating around on the top of the water; instead, dive down deep and see everything that is going on. That way, you will help to plant your child's roots in good places that might not always look so great on top; but that carry all the nutrients that are needed, within!

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