Do You Have a Night Life?

       I remember watching one of the (close to ending) scenes of one of the movies in the movie series The Matrix, which was when the masses of human beings turned to dancing as a last resort against the computer simulations (the "Mr. Smiths"). The antagonists were closing in on the remaining humans that defied the matrix and the only thing left to do was the most primal human action they could do in that instant: DANCE. Do you remember this scene from the movie? If not, here's a refresher for you:



       That was a long time ago and I was a lot younger when I first watched it, but I had goosebumps all over my body and I still have goosebumps today when I watch it again. I sat there in front of the t.v., many years ago, and I thought about it hard. I pondered upon the nature of dance and what it means to be human and how that primal act of pleasure was a final stand against the matrix and the whole lie and the control of the computer simulation that had power over the greater bunch of humanity.
       I think that, aside from sexual intercourse, dancing is the most pleasurable action a human can indulge in. For me, at least, I know that is how I feel. I am pretty sure it releases a ton of dopamine in my brain, because dancing, to me, is close to orgasmic and I'm sure there are a handful of others (if not more than just a handful) who feel the same way.
       I recently began living a night life. I got married very young and raised my son all throughout my 20s. When other people were going to clubs, I was being a mother and a wife. Now though, that my son is taller than me and has a sturdy foundation for his own life, I feel that it is time for me to live in any which way that I choose to live. And so, I turn to dancing. Most preferably done in the company of a whole den of other people, at nighttime. But I have discovered so much more since I started living at night. I have discovered that the night club is the place where you will find the most open, transparent and accepting people. For some reason, dancing+alcohol consumption, seems to result in affectionate, accepting and uninhibited human beings. The club is the only place where people just walk right up to me and ask me if I am happy, tell me that I am beautiful, and touch my hair even if they don't know me. And I am not even talking about men specifically. Women do this to other women (something that never happens anywhere else, because, every woman gotta be a cold bitch at school, in the office, at the mall, walking down the street).
       I myself, have a lot to learn from the night clubs and the bars. I need to learn how to let down the many walls I have built around myself and to let the cracks shine through. I have to learn how to talk to people (in person) with a deep type of openness and neediness and acceptance (yes, both neediness and acceptance at the same time). I am getting there, slowly but surely!
       This is a side to the human nature that I really have not been able to witness any other time in my life, thus far. And I love it. People are people and in the club they leave their cares, worries, pretensions and hostilities at the door. Yes, plenty of broken and sad people can be found in the club, too. But that does not mean that in the morning or in the afternoons they are not broken and deformed on the inside; rather, it just means that at night, in the club, they stop hiding it!


       I don't look for happiness at the night club, but I do thrive on the freedom and the openness in there and it feels like Vitamin C, really it does! It also makes me see how entirely wrong it is to judge people who go out at night. I grew up in an extremely conservative community and I am pretty sure that, right now, the greater majority of my friends think that I am on my way to hell because I have developed a penchant for dancing and having a few cocktails. Bless their hearts. Many people live in bondage within their minds. Bondage propagated by ideals set by religious beliefs, familial expectations, so on and so forth. But some people, like me, break free!
       There is also the angle of people being of the persuasion that having a vibrant night life is not a spiritual activity to engage in. This is due to the fact that their forms of spirituality reside on the outside of them, rather than on the inside of them. If they go over there, they are no longer connected to their spirituality; if they come over here, they are no longer spiritual beings... their spirituality exists in an outward form rather than within their soul form. They must physically attach themselves to what they wish their souls to be shaped like (or to what they have been convinced will cause their soul to become the shape they so desire for it).
       If you must identify yourself with a certain time of day, or a certain type of activity, in order to consider yourself as spiritual (ascended, enlightened, awakened, higher being, transformed being), then it is, in actuality, the time of day that is spiritual and the type of activity that is spiritual but not you yourself who is spiritual! If you are a spiritual being, or of the supernatural persuasion, then whatever time of day it is or wherever you go and whatever you do-- you will always be the light and the salt, wherever you are placed. You will always be connected, ascended, awakened, enlightened. Because it is YOU; it is not the place or the time or the action! When you are spiritual, you make things around you spiritual; if you are supernatural, you look at a small flower and you see the eyes of God in it. If you are a flame, how could you ever be anything other than a flame?
       I don't think I will ever stop reveling in the openness and the brokenness and the affections that the night is impregnated with. Like stars in the sky, we see people's light at night, breaking through the cracks that they keep so sealed and closed in the daytime.

My Message for All of You on My Birthday (September 13)

       The story of my birth into this world is a rather unique one. During labour, the doctors thought they'd lost me. I had lost my heartbeat. They extracted fluid from my skull to check for oxygen presence in my brain to determine if I could still be born alive (I still have the scar on the side of my head until now). They did find oxygen, so the doctors were able to save my life.
       I sometimes wonder, if the reason why I am able to live supernaturally, is due to the fact that before I was born I already experienced death? A crossover to death that happens in the middle of a crossover to birth, is a very curious thing, indeed!
       I don't share this story often, because I feel like it makes me look fragile. But this year on my birthday, I realised that it tells a beautiful story of a love for life and it also teaches a lesson. The lesson is a unique one: that we are not to give up, even after our hearts have stopped beating. Usually, we all say, "as long as there is breath there is a way"; or, "as long as there is a heartbeat, there is hope." But my story teaches that even after the heart has stopped beating, there is still hope. And even before a breath has been breathed, there is a way! 💘


       I love you all, thank you for reading the things that I write, thank you for welcoming me into your lives in such a profound and moving way. I am honoured to have met you through my words. God has blessed me with the ability to become a part of many lives and for that I feel very thankful. 🙏

Dear World: You've Got it All Wrong

       In our world, compassion has become a word synonymous with poverty. Compassion is reserved for the poor. Disdain is reserved for the rich. Mercy is reserved for the poor. Judgment is designated to the rich. Because people only recognise outward brokenness: broken clothes, broken shoes, broken houses, broken cars... people do not recognise inward brokenness: broken souls, broken hearts, broken minds, broken families.
       Broken rich people try to fix their brokenness with no help from anything but money. And money doesn't help the soul. The problem is that people actually do believe that money is everything, that's why they think that when you do have money, you have everything, and don't deserve anything else (like compassion, understanding, love, mercy). It is in fact ironic, that the real reason why people hate rich people, is because they themselves feel like rich people can fix everything in the world because they own everything in the world. As if all the money in the world could fix a single broken soul! And it's the rich people who actually know that, because it's they who actually live it.


       In this world, we have the broken on the outside and the broken on the inside: money can fix the outside but cannot fix the inside. One has the cure to the other. But rather than working together, society has instead chosen to point fingers and in doing so, continues the cycle of judgment and pain, for everybody. Society has instead chosen an underdog it deems worse off, and it has chosen the outward brokenness as the worse of the two. Why? Because society is shallow and cannot comprehend inner pain.
       We have swanky bars and clubs filled with rich people drowning their sorrows while the rest of the world points fingers and says that everyone in there ought to fix all the problems of the world! Because for some reason, the hellbound are expected to save the heavenbound. And what kind of logic is that?

       You've got it all wrong, world. You've got it all wrong.


The Problem With Love

       The problem with people and love, today, is the fact that people do not know what love is. People could sit down with love, talk to love, walk with love and be touched by love... without ever knowing that it was love! And then... continue to look for her, even after they have already found her. Why? Well, this is a very curious thing in life: that people have given meaning to something that they think they have understood, without first understanding it. Usually, we eat an egg before we remember that it is an egg and to call it an egg. But with love, you see, we remember what we think it is and what we think we should call it, before we have eaten it!
       The mundane people go around believing that love is something they are going to find in someone that makes them feel a certain way about themselves, because that someone is everything that they think love means and love looks like. So they do not actually fall in love with who that person is. They don't even know that person, really. People don't even fall in love with people, anymore. People fall in love with ideas. With easy things. With things that feel good. With things that should mean what love is supposed to mean.
       The truth is, love almost always looks like what we didn't think it would look like and what we didn't plan for it to look like. What we didn't hope it would be like and even maybe everything we are afraid of ever feeling!
       When you fall in love with a person-- nothing can take that love away. Not another person, not a circumstance, not an event... not time, not space. And you want everything about the person-- the difficult, the heavy, the light, the fun, the ugly, the dirty, the brilliant, the holy, the sacred, the pure, the innocent, the dark, the scary, the late nights, the tears, the early mornings, the laughter. That's what happens when you fall in love with a person. It's irreplaceable. Irreplaceable. It's not a feeling, it's not an idea. It's a person.
   
     
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