This Is Why You Should Believe In Immortality

To be alive in this world is a very strange, very odd thing. A life consists mainly of memories and of possibilities. A very small percentage (maybe around 1 percent) of life consists of interacting and reacting with the physical present moment. So, life, in actuality, is mostly concept, perception and memory. Somehow and for some reason, we go to sleep and wake up the next day and the day left behind is a memory while tomorrow is a possibility. And we have this one day to actually physically live. It is incredible: we are, in reality, living mostly intangibly in an untouchable form of experiencing life, while only a very small part can be touched, smelled, heard and tasted. It's like we don't really live here, at all! It's like we just come along every 24 hours to dip our feet in the river!


Now, if life were tangible (let's say, 99% tangible and 1% intangible), then we would be walking around, talking and moving about within something like a rubric cube of physical life sticking all over us, around us, surrounding us, like sticky tape! We would have yesterday's newspaper delivered again today, and tomorrow's newspaper delivered to us today, we would have the thunderstorm from ten years ago still roaring in our sky this morning and we would jump into a puddle from 20 years into the future, today! We would be walking around in a cube-like structure of sticky physicality.

So what does life consist of? We exist in memory and in possibility, and we have 1 day, every day, to build upon this physical world so that we can wake up to the products of that physical world, the next day.

This is why I believe that death is an illusion, with its ingredients brought upon us by the ingrained imagination that we in fact need to die. We don't even really exist very much, in the first place. We shouldn't have to die.

Before You Get Divorced (or Married), Read This!

       We are residing in a world, that is obsessed with relationships staying in one piece; a society obsessed with only one idea of a "happy ending", which is, the absence of an actual ending. People are taught to celebrate the relationships which last for 60 years, and to idolize such unions between two people. We are taught this, it is engrained into our minds through film, literature, societal pressure and religion. The holy grail of love, of marriage, of partnership.


       But happy endings can in fact be actual endings. I believe that we, as a society, should be able to celebrate people who choose to part ways with mutual respect and friendly understanding. Because in reality, the unions that seem to have no end, are really just the personal stories of certain individuals. It doesn't always happen that way. We like to tell ourselves that relationships are a result of hard work and other covetted inner values such as perseverance, dedication, determination; but what we are really doing, is trying to validate our admirable traits through the unions that we choose to have in our lives. Nonetheless, in reality, individual people create their respective unions that have their own unique stories which unfold in their own personal ways. We were all born in our own ways, we die in our own ways, we experience daily life through our own thoughts in our minds-- some unions last a lifetime, not because those people are perfect, are more hard working, resilient, persevering or dedicated-- they last a lifetime because that is their story. And really, nobody should be using their lasting unions as proof of their inner qualities as human beings.


       Not all marriages and relationships should last forever, that should not be the goal! The goal should be: to live in love, joy and kindness! If your union with someone else is not fostering a life of mental health, love, joy, healing and kindness; if it's not helping you become everything that you could possibly be, then it's time to move on, really. Truly, many times more often than mentioned, a divorce is the most selfless, kind and understanding act that two people can do for one another!
       We tend to believe that life begins and ends with a marriage or with a union. We usually forget that we were living our lives before it and that we will continue to live our lives after it.
       We should be celebrating the happy, thriving people; and if a divorce is what two people need in their lives to truly thrive and be happy, then we should celebrate their divorce as a success, just as much as we would celebrate a union of 60 years to be a success! In both cases, two people are happy and thriving. This alone should be the measure of how we celebrate and define our success and other people's success in this lifetime.


       Granted, it will always be incredibly difficult to separate from a deeper relationship, the choice has to be made in favour of a thriving lifespan, in favour of a happy lifespan. We worry what we are showing to our children--why? Shouldn't we be showing our children how to live a life of love, joy and kindness? Shouldn't we be showing our children all of the potential a lifetime has to offer? Shouldn't we be showing our children how to prioritize their mental health? That life doesn't begin and end with a marriage or with a relationship? Shouldn't we be showing our children how to forgive, how to make decisions in favour of their best health and happiness, and how to move on in life?
       Why are we seeing divorces as failures? We ought to see divorces as the ending of a chapter and the beginning of a new chapter. Just because something ends, that doesn't mean it was a mistake to begin with! It only means it lasted for the time it was supposed to last! People die every day. Does death mean that life was a mistake? Or does death mean that a life lasted while it was supposed to last?


       We truly ought to change the nature of our wedding vows; from, "'Til death do us part", to, "For as long as our journey together results in love, tenderness, kindness and happiness." Instead of saying, "In sickness and in health", we should say, "For as long as we do not cause each other anxiety or depression." Rather than saying, "For better or for worse", we need to be saying, "For as long as we both help each other become better people."
       The reason why so many marriages "fail", is due to the fact that wedding vows are harmful to both individuals involved. Wedding vows as so constructed in our days, sets people up for "failure", because, nobody should be promising to stay with any other person at the risk of their own mental health, self respect, joy and self-esteem. When we leave unhealthy relationships and toxic marriages, we are not failing; rather, we are giving our souls a chance to heal again, to love anew, and to thrive to our full potential.
       I am of course not saying that we should easily give up on our unions. But this is really needless to say. Because if it is any good of a union to begin with, we will not want to give up on it easily, anyway. People don't just easily give up on what or who they care about, that's just a given. It doesn't even need to be said.
       We need to be celebrating the joy and the love in other people's lives; not merely the longevity of people's unions. So much does change as centuries go by, so much does improve as centuries turn over; I believe that unions, marriages, relationships, and how we see and understand these, should most definitely be one of the aspects of our societies that we should push to improve upon.


       Consider revising the nature of your wedding vows, consider celebrating the choices of people to part ways with respect and friendly understanding, consider celebrating the actions other people take in order for them to thrive, to be healthy and to be happy. Consider rethinking what it means to "fail" and what it means to "succeed". Consider, and then share with others.
       I hope that I can help open up the world that we live in, to accept all the beautiful potentials that this lifetime has to offer! For myself, and for all others! Please share this message, then share it again and again!

#thereisaplaceforme

I am tired of people telling sad people to "count your blessings, think positive, snap out of it, think happy thoughts" and I am tired of people telling sad people "you are so negative, you are not thinking right, you don't know how to count your blessings, you don't know how to look on the bright side..." Until this social elitist disease called, "I-am-so-positive-I'm-so-much-better-than-you" comes to an end, we will all continue to alienate anyone who isn't happy enough, who isn't positive enough, who doesn't smile enough...

Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain were 2 of the most carefree, successful, experientially-satisfied, eloquently-lifestyled, "counting-my-blessings" types of people living in the public eye, who both inspired me at some point in my life. And these two people hanged themselves within a day of each other.

At the end of the day, their positivity was fake. Their happiness was fake. And they just got tired of faking it!

No matter how much good food, good travel, good sense of humour, excellent lifestyle, cheerfulness and positive, carefree attitude that you have in this life, these things are not going to cure the deep and heavy longing and loneliness in the middle of your soul.

People need to stop telling people that there is no place in this world for their sadness, for their loneliness, for their darkness, anxiety, PTSD, depression... because guess what? When you tell people that there is no place in this world for how they feel, they are going to take themselves out of this world, out of a world that only has room for everything that they just don't feel on the inside of them!


This whole social elitist mindset of positivity needs to just stop! You're not better than anyone just because you read "The Secret", just because you say positive things, and just because you deem yourself happier! Happy people need to stop pushing sad people away! If you can't embrace someone because you are afraid that their sadness will infect you, that their darkness will infect you, then that only means one thing: your light is WEAK and your happiness is WEAK! What is the use of the flame of a candle, if the candle is placed in the daylight? Useless! The flame of the candle is meant to shine in the night!

It's time to put an end to the alienation of the darkness in people. People have a home in this world. No matter how sad or how lonely or how lost they feel on the inside. They have a home in this world, and they deserve their time in this world, just as much as any happy person does!

I am C. JoyBell C. and I live and battle with anxiety. And there is a place for me in this world. 🕯

#thereisaplaceforme #thereisaplaceforyou
#katespade #anthonybourdain
#timeforchange #endthestigma
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