The Dawn

The Dawn
(December 31, 2009)

On the ghostly mists
That float over the
Darkness of the shadows
Of a day that’s past
Bloom and bud the
Blossoms of promise in
Tiny shining rays
Of light nourished by
The eternal soul and
As we stand at the
Cliff of a new day
Twilight will soon set in
All around us and
The tiny shining rays of
Blossoming promises will lead
Us home into the dawn
Of a new day

As the shadows of twilight
Fall and rest all around us
 At our feet
The dawn of our brand new
Horizons reach forth and
Call us into and forward

Steady as she goes

Forward always forward

© 2009 C. JoyBell C. All rights reserved.

Christmas (1&2)

I was inspired to write these two pieces whilst looking at the tiny lights dancing all around our little Christmas village we had just put up. As you can see, I have taken a photo of my inspiration for these pieces and have also shared it here. :)

May my words and my photo prepare your hearts for a magical, magical Christmas! :) The best gift we can give our loved ones, is magic. And to believe in it. And that's what I want to give to you, all of my readers this Christmas! :)

(December 2, 2009)

One by one they blink;
red, blue, yellow;
they flicker.

Places from long ago;
dance upon my memory;
they tease.

The Christmas lights whisper;
into my ear they call me;
they chant.

Christmases of long ago;
unweaving themselves like threads;
they return.

Spirits of Christmases join;
bringing old familiar comforts;
they soothe.

Watching the lights flicker;
red, blue, yellow;
I’ll remember.

Hiding in the ancient warmths;
I will take refuge;
I’ll stay.

My spirit roams my memories;
under church steeples, carols sung;
I’ll feel.

Places I thought long forgotten;
my childhood here with me now;
I’ll see.

One by one they blink;
one by one they flicker;
I’ll believe.

© 2009 C. JoyBell C. All rights reserved.

Christmas 2
(December 2, 2009)

They flicker
They tease
They chant
They return
They soothe
I’ll remember
I’ll stay
I’ll feel
I’ll see
I’ll believe

© 2009 C. JoyBell C. All rights reserved.

My Christmas Wreath And Andrea Bocelli...

Today, it's officially December the 20'th and we have less than 7 days to go until Christmas. :)

I don't have much time on my hands today, as I will be going out, scampering around, finding cake and pastries and candies and yummy sorts of things like that for Christmas Eve and Christmas morning, and so I'm afraid I won't be able to pay each of you a visit today. But I would still love to share with all of my readers and with each passerby, some photos of my Christmas wreath which hangs on my front door and also the Christmas music which I have been listening to- none other than Andrea Bocelli- and may I say that his new album "My Christmas" is absolutely magnificent, spectacular, brilliant, and splendid! And if any of you haven't a copy of his CD for this Christmas, I suggest you hurry along and get one since you still have 5 days left 'til Christmas! :)

I hope my photos and this spectacular music will warm your hearts a little more today! Merry Christmas and God bless us, everyone!

More Beautiful

More Beautiful
(December 8, 2009)

It is said that when you are too wonderful, others will take advantage of you, and so you ought to stop being too wonderful. I disagree. If you are too wonderful, never lower yourself because others are ordinary. And if they take advantage of you- that is not because you are too wonderful- that is because they are too ordinary.

I have learned that the more I give of myself, the more that I receive. Now, this is something which is often stated and quoted and re-quoted. The more you give, the more you receive. But when things are always said over and over again, they become stagnant and boring.

What I have learned is neither stagnant nor boring.

You see, we are taught to be afraid to give too much. People around us will tell us that we are short-changing ourselves by putting too much heart into something (or someone) by caring too much, by teaching too much, by loving too much, by being there too much, feeling too much, thinking too much, giving too much. And so, we are often persuaded and taught into believing that we should be afraid of not getting back enough in return.

But see…this is what I have experienced…when we give of ourselves too much… we get of our own selves- also- too much in return. We shouldn’t look to the receivers for what we should get in return but we should look within ourselves for what we can give to ourselves in return!

Look here…we do not short-change ourselves when we don’t receive from another the equivalent of what we have given. The reality is that we short-change ourselves when we fail to see ourselves as sufficient enough to be able to give and to grow. To be able to be the one planting the seeds and at the same time be the seed itself that is planted, that sprouts, that grows and blooms and blossoms and then glories in the beauty of the sunlight!

We short-change ourselves when we limit ourselves and say “Wait. I have given enough. Now if I do not receive the same, I will wilt and die.” When in fact, we can be so much more than that! We can be both the hand that plants the seed and the beautiful blossoming tree when the seed is fully-grown, including all those stages in between!

We are so much more than what we think we are! And the more that we give of ourselves, the more seeds that we plant, the more that we ourselves grow! And though others are benefited, it is us who is the growing seed, it is your own self that is the flowering tree under the sun!

So each time we give a piece of ourselves to someone, it is like we have planted a seed in that person’s garden. And sometimes, some people are just so dull and lifeless that you have to keep on planting seeds over and over again! And regardless of whether or not they are wonderful enough to plant seeds in your garden as well- one thing is for sure- your seeds are planted, and you yourself will grow!

If in the end you must walk away from this person, you have no reasons to neither regret nor despair. Because in the end, you will be more beautiful.

© 2009 C. JoyBell C. All rights reserved.

A Tragedy

A Tragedy
(November 11, 2009)

I think I caught
A glimpse
Of the whisper left
With you
The whisper that I
Left you
On the day when
You doubted

From the corner of
My eye
I see a feather
Laying there
A feather from my
Wing dropped
On the day when
You feared

On the edge of
My skin
I feel a teardrop
Your tear
Still warm but frozen
In time
On the day when
We lost

The whisper in your
Ear and
My feather on the
Ground and
Your tear somewhere near
My skin
On the day when
We fell

I hoped my soul
To whisper
For forever in your
Ear and
Cradle you in my
Wings and
Feel your every tear
But then…

…you stopped believing in angels.

Copyright © 2009 C. JoyBell C. All rights reserved.

Something To Share

This is just something I would like to share.

I started watching this movie when I was about the same age as the little girl (Mary) who is the star of this story, and one reason why I liked it so much was because everybody told me that I looked so much like her, except my hair was darker. :) I kept on watching the movie into adulthood, and I think I have probably seen it about 500 times by now! :)

I used to hum this song to myself, all the time...walking around, sitting down, whatever I was doing, I hummed this song to myself. Today, it has been playing in my head again, and as usual, makes me teary-eyed.

And so I thought I would share it with you. No need for comments in the comments box. Unless you would really like to leave a comment. :)

Invisible Happenings

Invisible Happenings
(November 24, 2009)

As your ship sails
Away into the
Misty horizon
Silent whispers
Go with it
Into the night like
Invisible happenings
I see them like
Ghosts that once
Laughed and skipped
With me but now
Turn their backs
On me
The ghosts fade away
Into the overcast horizon
They follow your ship
I am beginning to forget
That I once
Was there
Sailing your ship
With you

Copyright © 2009 C. JoyBell C. All rights reserved.

You and Me

You and Me
(June 18, 2009)

In my castle
Of many rooms
And towers
The sun shines bright
And inside and outside
All of the world
Is for me

In my castle
Many rooms are locked
Many towers are chained
I’ve thrown away the keys
Never wanting to remember
For every day
The sunshine raptures me

In my castle
One day you stood
I saw you
You had all the keys
To all the rooms
To all the towers
You found each key for me

In my castle
I stood-afraid
Where did you find those keys?
Must I go back?
What’s behind those doors?
I have forgotten
Can’t I just let the sunshine rapture me?

In my castle
You said “We must”
And then you walked towards the doors
You climbed the stairs
You lit the barren hallways
I followed close behind you
You led the way for me

In my castle
I remembered
Behind those doors
The fallen trees The cracked walls
The lost boats The drifting bottles
Then I remembered-yes I remembered
You held up the lantern for me

In my castle
Behind those doors
I looked at you
You took my hand
My tears fell down
As I remembered
Because you remembered for me

In my castle
Up in the towers
The dead leaves rustled beneath my feet
As I remembered
My tears fell down
I became broken better
You remade my heart for me

In my castle
Today no doors are locked
Today no towers are chained up
All the windows are open
I no longer wait
To be raptured by the sunlight
You rapture my heart for me

In my castle
Every day
I learn something new
You teach me to remember
Every day
You remake my heart some more
You rebuild my heart for me

In my castle
Sometimes if I forget again
Promise me that you’ll never
Promise me that you’ll be
In the barren hallways
Carrying the keys
And lighting the way for me

© 2009 C. JoyBell C. All rights reserved.


(November 25, 2009)

In our eternal existence, who has the right to say that we only have one lifetime to live?

I think it is our mortal minds that put that lid on top of our vision, our beliefs. Our mortal instincts of logic, reasoning, become a lid screwed tightly onto our beliefs, trying to contain the magnitude of our existence.

Some of us go through our lifetimes keeping the lid in place. And even fastening it on tighter.

But I have taken the lid off and thrown it away! All away! Because I want to live this lifetime with no top end- and no bottom end! I want to breathe on the knowledge, the understanding, the passions, the lusts, the love, everything- that I have lived in all of my lifetimes before- I want to breathe on, breathe from- all of that. And then I want to feed on all the visions that I can have of many more lifetimes I will live after this one. I want to feed on the passions I know I will have, the love I know is mine, the many lusts and many joys that are all for my taking, the safety, the true love, that are anew and are awaiting me… I want to feed on all of that, today!

And so if I were a bottle…I would have no cork screwed into the top of me…and no bottom at the end of me. And so ordinary people would look at me and say to themselves “What use is there for a bottle like that?” But then the gods and God would look at me and say “Look at this funnel! This beautiful funnel of light!”

In the world today…there ought to be more funnels!

We like to think that eternity is something that we can see when we look up into the sky. Something that is far away. Out there. Something that we are not yet a part of. But the reality is that we are there- we are in the middle of it all. We are on one of the gazillions of planets in the universe- and we are there. We are here. We have eternity. Eternity is all around us. And it is inside us. What we must do is let it flow through us. Never-ending. Unfathomable. Never bound. Always flowing. Through us.



© 2009 C. JoyBell C. All rights reserved.

All Of It

All Of It
(November 7, ’09)

I am tired of listening to people who talk about love, and say they are in love, and act as if they know love.

You should think that the more and more something is used and re-used, the more the something would become familiar. The more it would become known. The more it would become conceivable. Reachable. Mundane.

But then there is love. And the more and more that people say that they have it-that they know it- the more and more that I see how really different it is. Not at all like what people believe it to be.

Because I know that love is a spirit so strong, so defiant, so powerful, so beautiful, so unpredictable, and so very overwhelming and consuming, that it would not ever allow itself to be put into a box, to be molded into a frame, to become something of someone’s ownership.

True love is not something we can define in a book- it would eat the pages. True love is not something we can lock into a box- it would burn it to ashes.

I would like to say that true love is something that we do not possess- but that possesses us. Because that would complete a definition. But. I think that having true love in your heart is already a romance in itself. It is the possession of your whole being as you are consumed with the flames of passion and desire- but then it is also the possession and eating up of a life force on which your soul feeds.

And so, one is in love.

I know not of any true love other than this love. Than this in its mere becoming is already a full romance!

If you do not look at yourself and see yourself possessed and overtaken and consumed- whether in a soft and gentle manner or a raging and seething one- if you do not feed on this love as the source of your living soul- whether a soothingly sweet feeding or a suddenly gluttonous one- then I am not interested in this love that you say that you have.

What is the reason to live life, at all, if this is not all of it?

© 2009 C. JoyBell C. All rights reserved.


(February 20, 2009)

Toppled down
And all that’s left
Is the me
That’s hidden
Beneath these waves
Behind this sun
Under the blanket
Of these stars
I am hidden
And now
All is toppled down
I stand bare
A soul
That’s raw
My strength exceeds me
My heart feels
When all is toppled down
The walls are down
I bleed emotion
Stay with me
Touch me
Walk with me
Talk to me
Keep me
From drowning
Under these waves
Keep me
From burning
Inside this sun
Keep me
From being forgotten
Under the blanket of these stars
Without you
I am not
Toppled down
Without you
I am hidden
Topple me down
Touch me
Walk with me
Talk to me
Keep me
From being hidden
Keep the heavens
From reclaiming me
The heavens
They want me
For their own
Keep me

Copyright © 2009 C. JoyBell C. All rights reserved.

Changing Everything

Changing Everything
(March 13, 2009)

Along you came
I saw you stumbling
Through the door
The sun was shining
From behind you
The crooked smile on your face
Made the sun
Shine brighter
Along you came
I thought I’d never
See that sun again
But along you came
The crooked smile on your face
Made the sun
Shine even brighter
I thought I’d never
Unlock that door again
The sky is still and blue
Behind you
You cast a soft shadow
On the floor
Your smile is crooked
Your crooked smile
Puts me back together again
Your crooked smile
Makes all the roads look straight
You can stay
And lock the door behind you
We can throw away the key
I’ll open the windows
The sunlight will flood in
And the sun will shine brighter behind you
The sky will be
And blue
Above us
Your crooked smile
Will make the walls
Look straight
I was the only
Crooked thing
Your crooked, crooked self came in…
Let’s sneak out
The back door
Let’s take a walk
Down the beaten road
Your crooked smile
Will set it straight
Your crooked self
Will find me

© 2009 C. JoyBell C. All rights reserved.

A New Beginning (The Decision I Made)

Okay, now I think I have decided on what to do.

I'm not closing my blog, that's for sure (hurray! hurray! hurray!) I am going to keep the look of it, but there's going to be a change to the current content. I'm going to hide most of the current content, leaving some pieces of my choice up for reading. The pieces I choose to leave up for reading, will also be moved up to a current date. So it will feel like I just started my blog.

We are looking at a new beginning, everybody! A new beginning!

It will look as though I just began this blog, because only some content will be left, and that content will be moved up to a recent date, but I won't lose any of my valued readers.

I'm no longer going to make visible all of my work that I write, on here. But, from time to time, I will post a thing or two, just to give people a taste of what kind of a writer I am. And in between those "time to times" I could write things not so profound (if I can manage to do that- haha) sort of like a journal, but not quite (because I don't really like to keep an online journal open for everyone to read) and of course, I will be promoting my book as much as I can.

To date, I have about 5 manuscripts that are ready for publishing (that is 5 different books) and I will never stop writing, so that number will grow, and I will have to keep those manuscripts somewhere, but I won't be making them public anymore.

I have already taken down from here my novella, which has been moved to a file in my M.Word. Some of you will remember my novella from some time back...the setting was France in the year 1951.

I want to say THANK YOU to ALL of you!!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!! Every time one of you tells me you're going to buy my book, it just makes my heart swell so much!!! I am so blessed to have all of you!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!

And as my very own way of saying thank you, here are some big, juicy, ultra sweet candy apples for you!!! There's enough for everybody!!! :)

Some Serious Advice Needed

Everybody, I need some serious advice right now.

So, I have been giving this much thought for the past days already. But I still need some serious advice.

See, when I thought about publishing, I also thought that I would still keep on writing on my blog. But now that my book is coming out soon, I feel awkward about writing on my blog. I didn't know that I would feel this way. I feel stuck into something that feels like a predicament. Or something that thinks itself to be like a predicament. Or something of the sort.

I have been thinking of various ways to get around this:

1. I could take my writings down, and change the way that I blog. Instead of writing on my blog, I can actually blog on my blog. It could be an author's blog instead of the writer's writing pad.

2. I could keep my blog the way it is, so that new readers have a history to go look back at, so they know what to expect from my book.

3. I could just close my blog. And I could move to Twitter where I can tweet about updates on my books (releases, progress, prices, etc.)

4. I could keep my blog the way it is, and only post something like once or twice a month, just to give readers a taste of what they can expect from my books whilst also providing the history of my writings for browsing through.

I really DON'T WANT to just close my blog, because this blog has been a way for me to grow as a writer. For years, I have been able to understand how readers appreciate and interpret my various writings, in many different ways. The comments mean a lot to me. And the journey I've had on this blog has been fulfilling and uplifting and a true learning experience. And the people I have met on this journey have all meant so much to me.

But then, here I am, stuck into something that feels pretty much like a predicament. It doesn't feel good to keep on writing on my blog everything that will be available for reading in my book.

Please help!!! Leave me your ideas in my comment box, please! Thank you! :)

I'm Busy And Buy My Book

A wonderful day to everybody! I am very busy right now, as I am going to have my book published in the UK very, very soon. I am not telling on the details yet! Everybody will just have to wait! But, my book will be available in twenty-five thousand (25,000) bookstores worldwide, so all of you who have been telling me to get published already- all of you have absolutely no excuse - wherever you are in the world!!!!!! You must ALL grab a copy of my book!!!!!! hahahahahahahaha!!!! :)

I am very excited, and at this point, I want to thank all of my readers, and I am asking for your support when my book comes out, please grab a copy, and not only that, but please share my work with your friends and family, so they can grab their own copies of my book, as well!

Counting on your support,

p.s. love you guys!
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