My Desideratum, Our Prayer

It is New Year's Eve, the last day of 2010, and this will be my last piece shared for this beautiful year. It is my sincerest desire that these words will remain with you, for always...

These Three Men They Bend Their Knees

This photo I took inside the Duomo in Piazza dei Miracoli (square of miracles) also 
called Campo dei Miracoli (field of miracles) in Pisa, Italia, year 2010. 
All rights reserved.

My Desideratum, Our Prayer
(December 31, 2010)
At the very beginning of the New Year of 2010- at the stroke of 12 AM- I announced to myself, to God, to the Heavens and over the earth: “This New Year of 2010 will be the best year of my life so far!” and it was. Now the year is at its very end and I can confidently and honestly say that this year for me has been the best year of my life, so far. At the stroke of twelve this year, I will declare the same thing. I will declare the best year; every year; and every year will be the best year of my life, so far. Am I ready for that? Yes I am ready for that.
We are all candles. Burning, we have each our flame in glory. May we always know that trying to blow out another’s flame won’t make ours shine any brighter. And may we be able to quickly remove the envious from our lives; the ones who are misled enough to think that trying to blow our flame out will make theirs shine brighter.
I am thankful for all the people who have thrown stones at me in the year 2010. I carry with me no grudges, no resentment, no anger, no hatred. Being hit with stones has made me realize just how delicious all of my manna from Heaven is! And the stones all gathered together at my feet on the ground have made me see- just how few they are- compared to all of the manna that has fallen upon me from Heaven!
When people do not recognize your worth; it is not because you are not worthy. When people do not recognize your flame; it is not because you are not shining so brightly. People who cannot recognize worth are blind. And the blind go nowhere. Those who cannot see your flame are inside an upside-down jar; they have consumed themselves with their own light and in their upside-down jar they have the only thing that they will ever know- themselves!
What I give today; I give freely and without limit. Because I know I have an everlasting, eternally- flowing source that I draw from. It never dries up and it is always more than what I can ever expect- God. If I produce anger today; I am not at a loss. If I am hurt today; this hurt will not wound me. If I give you all of my love; I do not fear; for tomorrow all of that will be replenished inside of me. If I share with you my wisdom, my joy, my glory and understanding; I lose nothing and I lack nothing for I am immediately restored. I am always healed. I am continuously replenished by my everlasting source. And if something is stolen from me today; tomorrow it will be returned to me doubled. Go ahead and try to steal from me! You have blessed me! For tomorrow I will have even more!
I am thankful for each time I do not know which foot to put in front of the other; for every instance that I do not know where to go. Because every one of these moments when I don’t know if there will be any surface for my feel to land on; Destiny paves the way for me and scatters that way with roses, lilies, lilacs, lavenders, and wildflowers!
For every time I am afraid- I will remain thankful; for each time I am afraid, I have been given the chance to be courageous! And all those times that I didn’t take the chance to be courageous and was a coward- these are my mistakes, these are my regrets. But I am still grateful; for, my mistakes have taught me the importance of always taking courage and always taking chances. Whether they may be the first chance or the second one. And in my years and lifetimes to follow,  I will not make the same mistakes again.
I have met many people who have shown me things and taught me things I didn’t see and I didn’t know before. I have met people whom I aspire to become more like. I have met people who shine and who glow in all the glory of their being and I have caught those sparks and touched those glowing embers! Some of these people; I have barely known, some of these people like comets zoom by fast and are gone out of my life yet their burning lights remain with me. And some of these people... some of them stay. And I am most thankful for those who know how to stay. Glowing deeply and warmly, their burning embers are steadfast and true; they do not falter. They stay.
Beauty is not an option, it is not an accessory. Beauty is the essence of life and living; without it nothing is worthwhile. It is the final touches, the finishing qualities, the white in the light that captures and runs in the cracks and illuminates everything. It is the essence of what leaves nothing unturned and of what fills and swims on top of everything it passes by. It lingers far long after it has graced with it’s presence. Lifetimes long. Without beauty, there is no meaning, no story, no gist, no life. I will daily grow in beauty; everlasting and unfading. Continually.
My battles I have fought hard and to the best of my abilities. And my apologies I have made with a full, sincere heart. Wholeheartedly.
These declarations, these thankful offerings; these hands cupped together ready to receive and ready to give; this is my desideratum. This is our prayer.

© 2010 C. JoyBell C. All rights reserved.

Like me on FaceBook: C. JoyBell C. ~ Writer   and Check out my book: The Sun Is Snowing

How To Fly

I took this photo atop Chiesa di San Pietro, Portovenere, Italian Riviera, Italia in the year 2010.
All rights reserved.

How To Fly
(December 19, 2010)

When I left, I left with absolutely no itinerary. I planned to go to Greece, and I somehow found myself in Rome! Most of the places that I visited- Siena, Portovenere, Le Cinque Terre, La Spezia, Monteriggioni, Drammen - I didn’t even know that any of these existed on the map! Yet I went to these places, and they turned out to be the answers to my many questions, the granting of my life-long dreams, and the most beautiful places that exist! And every day, I made a friend. I woke up in the morning alone and with no one to talk to, and later on I would make a friend.

I have learned that in life, we best not have an itinerary. Because our itineraries are based upon what we already know. When you live, what you want to do is you want to throw yourself out- fling yourself out- into the hands of God and destiny! God and destiny know far more than you do! And when you throw yourself out completely like this into the world, this is when and how and where you will find the things that you don’t know yet. The things you are still looking for. The answers. The rest of what is there that you are having trouble finding. Because you can’t find anything on your own by looking into the jar that you already have. You have to throw away your jar and say “Give me the sun!” You cannot find anything by looking at the paper that you have already written on. You must put your paper into a bottle, throw it into the ocean, and allow the waves and the sands and the winds to determine it's story!

Our itineraries and plans are based upon and exist within- our own limits. As I live- I don’t want to have limits- I want to see my limits disappear every day. To do this, I must take courage and fly. I take courage to throw myself into the unknown; into the hands of God and destiny. And because of this, I fly.

Copyright © 2010 C. JoyBell C. All rights reserved.

I would also like to share, how ten years ago on December 26, at 6:45 in the morning, the boy of my dreams was born. He is the boy of my dreams because long before I knew I would ever meet someone, get married, and have a son- this boy visited me continuously in my dreams at night. We were always together, even before we met on the day he was born. He never allowed me to be alone.

The first words I ever said to him, in my hospital room that morning were these words: 
"You have more value than the whole world and everything in it, simply because God gave you that value. And nothing can ever, ever change that. You will always be more valuable than the whole world, and everything in it."
Today, I have a ten-year-old who is more responsible than I could ever imagine someone to be as responsible as, I have someone who I can truly admire, someone who teaches me things and looks out for me always. Someone who never puts himself first, even if he is a child. On the inside, he is not a child. On the inside, he has been around for a very long time! 

I named him Gilead Israel. December the 26'th is his birthday, and I love him so. ♥ ♥

Red Ribbon And Paper Roses

When I was at the wrap shoppe having my Christmas gift wrapped, I looked for a beautiful wrapper. I found one of roses stacked behind the wall. I had to roll two sliding doors away to find it. And I looked for the most beautiful red ribbon. I found the most red, most sparkling red satin ribbon hanging proudly among a multitude of others. As I stood in line, I watched the many people grab the brown wrapper with brown snowflakes on it; and then the brown ribbon that looked kind of like gold. They talked amongst themselves and said that it looked "classy." And while my gift was being wrapped, I felt all of their eyes look at the roses wrapped up in a big, beautiful red ribbon. I topped it off with a golden card. Everyone was quiet as they looked at my Christmas present. It's as if they felt something they hadn't felt in a very long time.

If people are unhappy, it is only because they do not know how to look for the paper roses, they don't see the reddest red ribbon and they don't like the little golden cards. We are all in the same wrap-shoppe in this life. But we are different. Because some of us are looking for the paper roses, choosing the reddest red ribbon... and picking up the little golden cards..


Angels We Have Heard On High beautiful, it makes me cry..

The Candles

 It's almost Christmas, everybody, and though this piece was not written with Christmas in mind, I think that it can cause Christmas to come to mind! I wrote this in March (as you can see by the date under the title) it is actually a dream I had which I wrote down upon awaking. I am thankful for the comforts and guidance that are given to me in my dreams, and now that it's Christmastime, the Holiday Season, may my piece comfort and guide you as well... Merry Christmas, and God bless us, everyone!

This photo I shot myself, belongs to me, and international copyright laws apply. Photo taken in 
Portovenere, Italian Riviera, Italia. This is  at the altar of  San Pietro in the Chiesa di San Pietro.
July  2010. All rights reserved.

The Candles
(March 5, 2010)

A beautiful dream comes to me
From the Heavens, the magics of old
My dream descends upon me
Melting onto my mind
Caressing my heart
Like sweet incense
Like butter onto my skin
In my dream
The candles- they are singing!
In the darkness I watch them- singing!
Tall grandfathers with heavy and thick
Melted wax dripping down cloaking them grandly like
Long white beards they
Laugh and sing proudly!
Passing their little flame
They light the little children
Small and stout the little ones
Are gleeful
And joyful
They jump
Up and down and they
Reach for the flame
The grandfathers pass
Around and
The women too
They gladly lift their voices
A choir are they!
The most beautiful choir
I have ever heard
My tears fall down
To hear their voices
Their voices like bells
At Christmastime
The choir
The laugh
They pass
On the light and they sing
Their flame is upon
Each one of them now
And the grandfathers
The women the children
They sing
In harmony
For me
They bring me love and
They comfort my soul
They sing to my soul
They love and they comfort me
My pain
Is gone
Gone away
And the candles they sing for me
And I watch
And I listen
And I feel
And the candles they mend my soul

My beautiful dream
Of the candles they
Sing to me
In the dark
And I awake
And I am healed
My soul is here
My soul is mended
The pain is gone
And I am whole

The beautiful candles
Their beautiful song
Like Christmas bells
They sing to me

The candles that came
To heal my soul

© 2010 C. JoyBell C. All rights reserved.

join me and my friends: C. JoyBell C.- Writer
take a look at my book: The Sun Is Snowing

I'd also like to share with you, how I have received the promotional texts for my upcoming book in which my book is said to be reminiscent of the timeless classics Wuthering Heights and Madame Bovary. Now, a book's promotional text is created by a third party writer whom the book's author has no direct communication with and can only discuss with the author by means of a middle-man (in this case is the publishing company) .. well, at least this is the policy of the Amazon publishing company I am publishing with.

I feel as if I can stop writing right now, and be happy and satisfied for the rest of my life- I personally consider nothing else to be a greater honor for my book than for it to be likened to Wuthering Heights and Madame Bovary, two of the most influential and controversial timeless, classic novels of all time! And my book is a novella, yet it is being likened to these two full-length novels. I am very very very honored, I'm overjoyed, and completely happy, and very humbled. That is my dream right there, given to me! It is mine!


You Can't Catch Me!

You Can’t Catch Me!
December 11, 2010

Did you not know?
That my soul has wings
Bigger than your wings
And I take flight?
In the night and
In the daylight and
Right below your nose
I take flight and
I do not care of
Your formalities and
Your hypocrisies and
Your bondages and
Did you not know?
Right below your nose
I take flight and
My wings are far
Bigger than your wings!

Copyright © 2010 C. JoyBell C. All rights reserved.

I just sat down and wrote this only a few minutes ago! I had no plans of sharing any of my writings today, but I want to share this one right away, so I am! I'd also like to share with you that my second book's press release is already prepared and ready to be released to the press! I read it, and I must say, reading the press release of your book, for the first time, is similar to looking at the ultrasound of your baby in your womb for the first time- such a thrill! I am in love!

The Italian Pizzeria

This photo I shot myself, belongs to me, and international copyright laws apply. Photo taken in Roma, Italia,
around the block in the area of Roma Termini Grandi Stazioni, a few streets down from my hotel on
Via Principe Amadeo. Taken on the first day of my arrival in Rome. June 8, 2010. All rights reserved.

The Italian Pizzeria
(June 9, 2010~ Roma, Italia)

The Pizzeria
Tucked away
Painted yellow
And rust red
Chairs and tables
Dance on the alleys
Of the Italian

© 2010 C. JoyBell C. All rights reserved.

I'd also like to take this moment to announce the very happy news of me having a second book on the way! I can't wait to hold my second book in my arms! And I want to express my gratitude to all of you who have been with me and have been supporting me since the beginning of my journey with my first book, until now, and I look forward to going on this journey of birthing (publishing) my second  one, with all of you, and now even more of you! So much joy ahead! 

put some meaning back into your gift-giving & give
the gift of a snowing sun this holiday season

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