I See A Woman

I See A Woman

I see a woman with dreams
Her head is held high,
her gaze straightforward.
She is petite
In all of her littleness
She raises herself up towards the sky
And occupies
All of herself that there is to be!
Her gestures are sure
Her stride; nothing special
but it is her own! Her own
walk into the world every day!

That’s how I know she has dreams.

That’s how I know she still dreams.

Copyright © 2012 C. JoyBell C. All rights reserved.


A secret is something that one uncovers little by little, step by step, turn after turn. A secret becomes known through whispers, through a soft but firm nudge, through a grasping of the heart that can never be forgotten. These are secrets. If you sell me a  secret, how am I to believe it is a secret? Would a true secret be placed in the pages of a book or in the mouth of a ceramic angel, and put up for sale? No, but true secrets have to be stumbled upon; buried treasures, disguised notes... these are secrets. And, okay, say a secret is sold in the marketplace; but for it to be a true secret, it must be something not sold by the truckloads! It must be sold from hand to hand, discovered from a friend, uncovered by chance. And that is a secret.


Perfection and The Theory of Chaos

Clam Shell

I have very recently been able to come full-circle in life. I don't know if that's a correct term, but what I mean is, after a little over a decade, I've been able to complete an entire circle; where the end of the line meets the beginning of it. And after drawing this circle, I've been able to take a few steps back, and look at it. I can see that it was a puzzle, and all those distinct areas that were so very difficult, so very confusing and impossible to make sense of or to understand; fit into each other and are of each other and together create a finished work, a finished product. Individually, each of those circumstances/times appeared to be worthless mistakes, but now that I am able to view them all together, as many parts of a single whole, I see that the picture is perfect. If one thing didn't happen; the better thing would have never taken place. If that didn't take place; that other better thing wouldn't have ever happened. And it's not a succession of steps like on a ladder or a staircase, but more like a waltz! A back-and-forth, a bow, a curtsy, a whole dance on a ballroom floor! A proportioning of different dimensions being brought together as a whole. Perfection.

I therefore conclude, that perfection is a collection of a variety of pieces that, when viewed and felt individually, are difficult and confusing; but when brought together as one, create a perfect picture. This is Symphony, Harmony. This is Serenity.

I spoke to someone about this, immediately as these thoughts came to me over a dinner of seafood so fresh I could truly taste the ocean waves in every bite of squid, tiger prawn, shrimp, and clam that I took! He said "You know, someone once wrote of something similar to what you're saying, he called it The Theory of Chaos or The Chaos Theory, he said something to the effect that as you look into the pattern of a shell from afar (holding it in your hand) you see a perfectly beautiful pattern, but when you were once inside that pattern, it was complete and utter chaos, everything was a mistake and random. But later when you come out of the shell and hold it in your hand and look at it, you see that nothing at all was random!" And so I thought about what he said, and I picked up the clam shell in front of me and looked at it. I cleaned it up and kept it.

This is what perfection is. You have to complete the circle to see the whole picture, you have to come out of the shell to hold it in your hand and look at the pattern on it, to be able to say that it's perfect, to be able to see perfection. So I believe that's why you can't try to control the outcome of everything, you can't try to dictate your life or the lives of your children, because, something perfect is happening, you just don't know it yet. And if you try to dictate everything, you're going to get into the way of perfection, and the result isn't going to be beautiful.

Copyright © 2012 C. JoyBell C. All rights reserved.

It Is Perfect

It Is Perfect

They are like
Many different pieces of a puzzle
Each piece difficult

To comprehend
To understand

None of them made any sense
By themselves
But then they came together
All the pieces fit
Into each other
And of each other

Taking a few steps back
I see
The whole picture
The entire puzzle
Coming together as one

Individually they were
Hard to understand

But together; coming together
They are
A whole picture; an accomplished puzzle


Copyright © C. JoyBell C. All rights reserved.

The Nature of Eternity

So, it is suggested that eternity is something that "happens" after life on earth, something that is "finally reached." And that the state of your eternity depends on your life on this earth. How funny a thought, to think that eternity depends on what is mortal. I laugh. The outcome of what is greater, depends on the state of what is less? But eternity is then and now and tomorrow. That's how it is eternity. Do you think, that just because you have a mortal body, that you have left eternity and are not overcome by it? A mortal body swims in the ocean of eternal! Eternity is inside you, and is all around you. It is the outcome of the less that depends on the state of the greater. If this were not so, then God would be of no effect to us! And it is because people don't know this, that God has become of no effect to them.

Copyright © C. JoyBell C. All rights reserved.
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