The Nothing Song

Hey wonderfuls. I have something deep to talk to you about today... so it starts off like this... yesterday, I posted this to my personal network and to my public network (my writer network):

I have made an important decision, and this is to no longer allow myself to be affected by the state of the nations, the peoples, the world. There are too many terrible things happening everywhere, and if I am to think about them, then I will only know heartache. Too much empathy is very difficult to carry around in the soul and I suppose that a bit of apathy would do wonders for the mind and body. Goodbye to all things terrible in the world, terrible presidents and terrible terrorists and terrible cunts. Goodbye. I shall hereafter dwell on things like the beauties of nature, music, and cake and cupcakes. My little winged heart cannot take anymore of the terribleness. And so, I shall bit ti all adieu! Ta ta, so long, au revoir, farewell, retreating into my very own renaissance of the mind now! Zen.

I said this yesterday, only to break down in tears today, and to fall deeper into the turquoise lakes that I am made up of. So I want to talk to you about that because it's a turning point in my life, and since you're on my journey here with me, I guess you would like to know when I turn somewhere? So in case you'd like to know, I've just realised that I simply can't be the person that I described above in my post, it only lasted a day. Actually, just about ten hours before I couldn't do it anymore. And that's okay, because this is me, and I'm so tired of fighting myself. I can't change the colours of the lakes that I am made up of. There is a depth within me that I can't alter... the forests in me are violet and vast... you could roam in them for a lifetime and still not come to the end of them! I know, because in my dreams at night I walk through them and they go deeper and deeper... forests filled with living things and with fields of lavender!

I'm not going to be able to be the person whom I've described above. Because the person that is me feels deeply, thinks deeply, knows deeply. I realise that the key to soothing the pain is not to change my nature; but the key is to stop bordering at the edge of what is in between. I can't keep teeter-tottering at the edge of what is shallow and what is deep... like so I can save myself in case I go too far into the forest... because the key here is actually to just go in deeper, go totally into that place, because when I give myself to who and to what I am, that's when I can become the powerful me who will be able to choose what to feel and what not to feel. Then and only then will I be in the powerful position to say, "I'm not going to let this cause me pain, I'm not going to let this burn within me, I'm going to turn away from this person (or this thing), because this person/thing is not good for me." But I know that I am only going to be able to do that when I fully accept how deep those lakes, oceans and forests are! I'm going to have to learn how to dance with the beautiful, illuminated creatures within me, because they stay in the deep places, I'm going to have to want to be there. And that doesn't mean that I can't run away! I can always run away from anything; but I can run away from anything outside of me, if I need to, while inside me, I still know who I am!

So, look, I know I'm the person who, when I cry, a single tear down my face feels like burning oil; a single breath feels like I'm reaching up for Heaven's hands to reach down and to hold me— I feel so much. But I'm going to be strong and fortified from now on, because I'm going to accept myself and I'm going to go even deeper. Because you know what? I am helluva beautiful! And if I weren't who I am, I wouldn't be able to write the things that I write and be the person that I am right now.

I am turquoise and I am violet.

Love you, wonderfuls! Thank you for putting up with me, through all of my ups and my downs, I can't thank you all enough! And now I want to leave you with a music video that I always come back to, through the years, no matter who I am and who I've become and what I've done— I always, always come back to this song, because it moves with the rhythm of my heart... this is the song that I would sound like... wordless. I'm not a pop song, and I'm not a rock song... I'm a song that's literally entitled "The Nothing Song" because the words are made up and it's all about the melody and the feeling, it's not about the words (they don't even mean anything.)

The Chant

       I am convinced that Gregorian Chant is a spell-casting type of music and I feel like this is the music that I should always be listening to! When I listen to Gregorian Chant, I feel protected and safe, swathed in arms wrapping themselves around me! I feel like I am within an impenetrable blanket of divineness and safety! I can't seem to find any writings on the matter, like writings from ancient times ascribing the chants to some type of protection spell or anything like that, but I am fully convinced that, at least for me, it functions as such!
       The very interesting thing is that I have learned, from a musical course that I am taking from Yale, that Gregorian Chant is the only music on earth which does not possess a beat. A beat is what humans naturally ascribe to/look for, in musical listening experiences; so looking for Gregorian Chant is not a natural action to take; it is in fact an unnatural choice for music. You definitely don't see a million teenagers screaming out the chants like they would scream out modern-day pop music! So I find this fact to be fascinating and highly intriguing! 
        I feel like the fastest way to cast a caim (circle of protection) around one's self, is to listen to Gregorian Chant. But that's just me, and you don't have to believe that, I am just one to share the things in me that try to fly out of me, at times, and this just so happens to be one of those flying things! 

C. Bells

What Status Is Your Mind?

       I have noticed that there is something, a way of seeing and feeling people, that cannot be categorised as a question of intellect, nor a question of socio-economic and cultural background, nor a question of current social standing. Usually, I can predict and/or categorise how a person will react to something or understand something or deal with something, based upon the factors I've just mentioned; but sometimes it's simply not a question of either of those factors and I struggle to grasp for the right word to describe it, or the right term to describe it. But I think the right term to describe it, would be, "status of the mind." There is a social status, a financial status, a marital status, and now I think there should be something called, status of the mind. I have observed that an individual may have intellect but no common sense; common sense but no culture; culture but no class; class but no heredity to account for it; good bloodlines but no intellect; and so on and so forth! But then a person can have all of those things and still fall short of a certain area of perception and understanding that just leaves them so... so very mortal! But then there is one trait that supersedes them all, I think; or that at least pulls a person into that area which simply feels like a better place, a place where we can reach an understanding, and I hereby dub this as the, status of the mind. One can be born of high social status but have a low status of mind. One can have a high status of mind and, with nothing else, be able to peer into the things that are veiled from others, the things to be seen that others cannot see! This is the status of the mind. People of this status want something better, they want something that is not mainstream, that is not understood by the masses, they don't put themselves into that current which flows with the times that everyone else is in; they are elite in the mind! They are of an understanding that is higher, that sees further, that feels and perceives more, that dreams bigger and that reaches beyond! There is a different kind of hierarchy now, and that is the hierarchy of the mind.
       And that's all I want to share with you, today. But I also want you to check out the new videos I've made on Youtube! :) I think that I will not be posting every video that I make, onto this blog, so if you're keen on keeping up with the latest ones, please check back directly at my YT channel: and you will be able to follow all my latest creations there! You can also browse through other playlists that I've put together, consisting of different types of music; there's also ballet videos, travel videos, inspirational videos, basically just a bunch of videos that aren't mine, but that I enjoy! So you can check those out to, if you're at all interested. Anyway, here are my newest latests and greatests, below! Do enjoy them, I worked hard on them for you guys so I'm happy for you to be enjoying and sharing them!

Raising Nobility: A Magickal Take on Parenting:

Don't Be Afraid Of Your Fears:

All Things Lit Like Fireflies:

All Things Dance Like Dragonflies:

Broken and Whole:

To Love and To Lust:

Living Through My Skin

       I believe that we are living in an age of information overload and overstimulation. Our brains are functioning as supercomputers, absorbing and divulging information both at the same time, in a way like never before! I can just login to Facebook and in my newsfeed there are about thirty sources of science and technology, spirituality and history, so on and so forth— running through my feed! And these thirty or so sources run some fifty or so articles and images each, for me to see, every day! And I have observed that all of this info can run me over, just like what getting run over by a truck on the street would be like! It leaves you flattened out on the road— like a carcass! It's like we're turning into machines... forgetting how to live... it's only January and we've already forgotten the magic of the holidays when we were greeted by terrorists just a few weeks ago! We forget all our hopes and magical aspirations for the year, when we run into rude and obnoxious people at work, at school... at Starbucks! So what I'm saying is that I think I need to not get run over anymore and I think that you shouldn't, either. I think that I want to cultivate, focus on, and practice, a culture of kindness. What is a culture of kindness? It's a culture of living through the heart, a skill of stepping away from that highway and instead, having a picnic beside the road... or under a tree! A skill of stopping and breathing and living life gracefully through experiencing every divine moment, cultivating thoughts of humility and gentleness all along the way!
       It's easy to forget living in our own culture of kindness, when we are overstimulated in so many different ways. We are frightened by the news, we are rubbed in the wrong ways by bitter and frustrated people, we see garbage on the television and we are always bombarded with the notion that knowledge is better than kindness, that intelligence is better than empathy and compassion. We are taught that our magic is laughable and that we ought to "wake up"... everybody is telling everyone to "wake up" from a host of different things to "wake up" from! Everybody wants everyone else to "wake up" from something! One person will say wake up from magic, another person will say wake up from your daydreams, an organisation will say that you're not good enough until this or unless that, some people will tell you to forget your religions while another group of people will invite you to church and to prayer meetings... everybody in the world is trying to hoard in other people, as if we all need to make little camps of ourselves and give our camps little names and huddle up together and be weird together; but the truth is that we're all weird, anyway, and we can do that very well without secluding others or without having to push our egos up onto platforms of our own makings, in order to make ourselves feel that we have some sort of advantage over the rest of the human race!
       The culture of kindness is a culture wherein people will be motivated not by the promise of being more and better than others around them; but the culture of kindness will encourage people to be motivated by the sheer longing to live life beautifully. What are the things that allow a human being to live life beautifully? That's simple, because it's the simple things, really. It's a forgiving nature, a grateful heart, an attitude of simplicity and magnanimity at the same time... being able to take the time to smile because the sunbeams dance on the wall in a beautiful way— that is the culture of kindness. And it's not about being in a race to be kind and to show and see who and what can be kind to more people and to more things—no— because we have too much of that, already! We are in fact bombarded with advertisements on how we are supposed to be kind to these people and to those people and to this thing and to that thing— enough. It's not about racing towards anything or anyone. It's about being. Being a sentient human being. Being a sentient soul. Knowing what exact moment you are in, right now, and living in it. And that's not about "YOLO", either! It's about breathing, feeling, living life sensuously!
       I live life sensuously. When I am not too busy being a carcass on the road being run over by the trucks in my Facebook newsfeed; I am living life sensuously. Not being chased by doubts and fears and feelings of frustration. I live sensuously and that means living through your skin; feeling the moments in life as you live them. That's what it means to live sensuously. And I invite you to join me, this year and beyond, to cultivate a culture of kindness and to live sensuously.

C. Bells

It Flies Away Somehow

Guess what! I made another video! :) I think this will be the new norm for me, so I do hope you enjoy it! I rather enjoy "filmmaking", as it gives me a whole new way to express what I want to express through my writings! :) Anyway, here goes:

Love is Like a Good Cake — Video

Hey, wonderfuls! Guess what! I made my very own Youtube video for the first time! :) I was a little bit nervous and really wasn't sure what I could expect, but I just jumped on it and did it and in a couple of hours I had a video and it felt exhilarating and I couldn't wait to share with all of you, so first I shared on my Facebook Page, and now I'm sharing it here; I hope that you all love it! Enjoy! :)

Some Really Good Pancakes!

Now, you all know how much I love a good pancake, right? Well here's some really good soul pancakes for you! Trust me, these are really, really good!

This one's for all mankind:

This one's for every mom out there:

Another one for all of mankind:

And this one's especially for YOU!

Enjoy! Smile, cry, go change the world! :)

A New Kind of Feminism

       I want to start a new kind of feminism. A kind of feminism which states that it is okay to open doors for me, it is okay to offer your seat to me on the subway, it is okay to pull out the chair for me when I'm about to sit down, it is okay to speak to me gently. Because I am a woman. Because being born as a woman means being born sacred. Because being born as a woman means being born cherished and prized. It is also okay to treat me as an intelligent human being who is skilled and mindful. It is also okay to be gentle with me because my skin is softer, my heart is softer and my tears are easily provoked. It is also okay to never hit me and to never slap me because, yes, just because I am a woman. Because being born a woman means being born holy, it means being born revered and respected. Just because I was born a woman. And yes, it is okay to consider how I might feel about something— physically or emotionally or mentally, simply because I am a woman. It is also okay to expect me to be of sound mind and strong heart, it is okay to expect me to be steadfast and true, because I am a woman. Because I will live up to those expectations, and even more. It is okay to see me as a person of sound thought, because I am a woman. It is also okay to expect that I might like to play football or that I might want to be a ballerina. I might want to be a soldier but I might want to be a princess. I might want to climb mountains and I might want to play the piano. I might believe in unicorns or I might want to believe in Buddha! I might want to wear pink or I might want to wear black. It is okay to wear pink. It's also okay to wear black. It's okay to speak to me softly, it's okay to consider my feelings, it's okay to love me, because yes, because I'm a woman. And if you don't hit me or slap me or push me, just because I am a woman, that is okay with me. Because women were born sacred, to be cherished, to be loved.
       This is the new kind of feminism, a feminism that says I don't want to try and prove that I am as strong as a man or that I am better than a man. Why should I feel the pressure to do that? I don't see a man as a competitor; I see a man as another human being with his own strengths and his own merits. This is a kind of feminism that says that it's okay to see me as something softer, because I am softer. It's also okay to see me as something with great worth in the workplace and at home and at school. This is a feminism that gives room for men to aspire to become strong and gallant; a feminism that allows room for men to aspire to be brave and gentle and true! This is a kind of feminism that adores the woman in her exact form and function— mind, body and soul. I am a woman and I am free and I have wings and I can fly and I take joy in all of the provisions that are given to me just because I was born this way, I take joy in being seen as a soft and flying thing with wings, I take joy in being me! And this is my kind of feminism.

Copyright © 2015 C. JoyBell C.

"Because I'm a man."

I have no words. It says everything.

We Are Not One

       I have always, always been a spearhead of highlighting differences between people and celebrating those differences. I have always believed that the problem in the global mainstream mindset, is the propaganda to imagine that we are all the same. This "suggestion" is taught to children in schools, in clubs, organisations, and generally just as popular thought for everyone. But it is a lie. We are all so different from one another, that even twin siblings have differences between them. How much more the peoples of different races and cultures, different lands and colours! If you are black then you are black and if you are white then you are white and black and white— no, they are not the same. Jews and Christians are not the same. Christians and Muslims are not the same. Hindus and Zoroastrians are not the same. A red head and a blonde have hair of different colouring! Yet this veil is pulled over our eyes and we are all raised by society into thinking that we are good people only if we imagine away our differences. But this is a lie and this is wrong and this is why we cannot tolerate any differences— because when someone is different when we are expecting them to be the same as us— we either laugh at them or we distance ourselves from them. And in worst case scenarios— we murder them! There are all sorts of problems that arise, from all sorts of angles, due to the expectation of sameness. It is the celebration of differences that should be cultivated, because this is the way things are, this is the truth! We are all never going to be the same and we should be curious and felicitous towards these many, many differences. We should greet each other expecting each other to be different, and rejoicing even more when we find out the many small reasons that we are still the same, despite being different.
       We are not one. Nope. We are in fact many. Seven billion many! And each one of us seven billion, we all have a right to feel like we belong somewhere and that somewhere is home and that in that home, we get to feel a certain amount of sameness as created by an underlying (or overlying) culture, language, predominant race. This is just a reality and that's why we have different races and different countries— because they are supposed to look different and be different and we are supposed to belong to one of them! We are not supposed to feel afraid to say and be who we are, when amongst our own people, our own culture, our own general mindset and way of being. People should be allowed to have that, we should all have that.
       The problem with globalisation in this day and age, is that it goes hand-in-hand with a lack of clear limitation. The goal of globalisation should not be to eradicate boundaries and smudge the lines between obvious reasons why peoples are unique and different from one another; but the goal of globalisation should be to introduce and acquaint one another with the reasons why these differences can be beneficial one to the other! My people can help your people because my people have this and your people can help my people because your people have that, therefore, let us create a free trade agreement, let us create a special bridge for us to cross over, but let's please not start to make one another the same as each other, because we should each take pride in the reasons why we are different, in the reasons that do not make us the same, because if not, because without these differences, we wouldn't be able to help one another, anyway! It is because of these differences that we can help one another, that we can and should build this special bridge between our peoples.
       All the problems in the world right now are a result of the above agreement being smudged into the background by the misled goals of globalisation. Look at me, I am a product of globalisation because I am the East and the West put together, I am different cultures and different races made into one person! When I lacked the acceptance of the fact that within me alone, there are contradictory traits and contradictory bloodlines— that is when I was most conflicted. But when I began to look at myself as a reason to celebrate many differences put into one— that is when I began to see myself as something most beautiful. That is when I began to feel peace. And I believe, that this is the only key to the world ever feeling peace. The key that I used for myself is the key that fits the keyhole of the world. When I wanted to look just like one side of my family and not the other side, so that I could feel sameness, so that I could accept myself thanks to sameness— that is when I could not accept myself. Because the basis that I had set in order for me to accept myself— was a lie! But it is when I realised that looking like myself and not like either side of my family is the reason why I was beautiful, and I began to celebrate myself because of that, that is when I found peace and not only peace, but a reason to have a feast, every day! A reason to eat cake when I wanted to eat cake! A reason to laugh at myself and to be cheerful and to be happy! I looked damn fine just the way I was, I realised.
       So where do I belong? Where do I feel like I can come home and belong and be who I am and live in the dream that I want to live? That's easy. I feel that way in Italy. So far, I feel that way in Italy. And no, I am not half Italian, I was not born in Italy, but I feel that way in Italy because people just presume I am either Italian or French. So at least they presume I am from either there, or around the area! When I'm in Italy, tourists ask me for directions! I have to tell them, "Oh I'm sorry but I am a tourist, too." That's as opposed to being in my land of birth back in the states, where people have actually asked me if I speak English! So what do I do when I am in Italy? Well, the very cliche "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" is what I in fact do when in Italy. I don't expect Italy to read into my mind and heart and change to suit me so that I can feel like she is a part of me, no, what I do is I try to soak up all the ways that I can adapt into a place that I feel like is my own (because that's why I go there, in the first place, because I feel like I want to be there, I feel like it is my own!) And my point here, is that, we all deserve a place where we feel like we belong, where we feel like we are free! The Italians in Italy don't have to change themselves in order to accommodate me and since I love it there, I change myself in order to accommodate the place that I love to be in. This is the right kind of globalisation— one that can still offer a home, even to someone who isn't born there! But the essence of home— and this is very important to remember— will be lost if it ceases to be a place where people that share a sameness collectively gather! If the essence of home ceases to become a place where people that share some kind of a sameness can feel free to do and to say as they wish, then we would end up with a homeless world! Now think about that. There are homeless people, right? What if the world was homeless? What if every single person felt like a homeless person, because we would no longer be able to identify home?
       The true face of globalisation, is a face where we can find a home even in a place where we were not born. But in order to uphold this face, we cannot smudge out the lines of this face, we cannot smudge out and delete or erase the reasons why we can and should be able to feel like we are at home! We cannot force away clear limitations! We cannot allow people to come into other people's homes and start changing those homes in order to suit themselves. A home is a place most profound, most warm and most free and we all need to cherish the meaning of that! We all need to respect and to uphold the meaning of that.
       When I was little, I memorised a poem and I thought that all other kids had memorised it, too. It's only as an adult that I found out that, no, not all kids had this poem memorised! Not everybody had even read it! It went like this... "I am me and you are you, I don't walk or talk like you, I don't even brush my teeth like you, because I am me and you are you..." and that poem went on, with illustrations, highlighting the reasons why we are different and why that's okay and why that should be celebrated. And now I'm going to go and write a new poem that is to that same effect, because there are no new poems for children that are like that anymore. Adults should read it, too!
        I really believe that I have found the key. And it is up to all of you to use it. Thank you.

#IAmCharlie #JeSuisCharlie #WeAreCharlie

What happened in Paris is different. What happened in Paris is not an ancient war between cultures, races and brothers. What happened in Paris was stupidity. And it's stupidity because anyone who wants to launch an attack upon the freedom of thought and the freedom of art and the freedom of expression, is launching an attack on all of humanity. If not for these three freedoms, then the human race would not exist today. We would have not evolved! Apparently, some people have not yet evolved, made evident by the lilliputian actions made by sociopaths in Paris, against people who like to draw!

Without the three freedoms— the freedom of thought, the freedom of art and the freedom of expression— I wouldn't be here, either. It is freedom that has catapulted me, and any one of any of us who has become anything— to become anything, at all!

In Paris yesterday, there are people who attempted to cut the wings of the three freedoms that we hold so dear to our hearts as a human race. They attempted to sever the wings of the three freedoms that we rely on to thrive as a species! I say this is too much. I say down with terror. I say stop this now. I say #IAmCharlie, #WeAreCharlie, #JeSuisCharlie

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