You and Your Candle

       Darkness is not as powerful as the light. That sounds cliche, but do you actually understand why this is the case? Please listen while I explain. Darkness is not as powerful as the light, because it is the nature of darkness to appear bigger than it actually is. This is true physically as well as metaphysically and spiritually. In a dark room, we are able to imagine many horrendous things, we think there is more there than what is actually there! We think there is more in darkness, but there is actually a lot less. There is just darkness, which can be dispelled by even a tiny amount of light. And that is why light is more powerful than the dark; because light, in itself alone, without pretending to be anything more than what it is, is all of itself and embodies all of itself and in doing so, is able to dispel illusions of the mind. More than half of darkness is phantom; is not what is actually real. All it takes is a single candle to make the mind aware of that fact. And that is why, gentleness will always be stronger, humility will always be more powerful, understanding, love and open mindedness will always be more powerful than their counterparts. A candle will always be stronger than the night.
       Ask yourself, why is there so much deception in darkness? I have been deceived by darkness pretending to be light and I'm sure you have been, too! But have you stopped to ask yourself why there is deception in darkness? Why must darkness deceive in order to pass itself off as light? Why must a wolf cloak itself in sheepskin? Why must a hag appear as a young princess? Why? Well, it is exactly because of the reason that what is weaker must fake itself to be that which is powerful. It is the weak that must pass itself off as strong; it is never the strong that must pass itself off as weak! The only circumstance in which you will find the light disguised as the darkness, is when a bright being, after having experienced too much hurt and too much disappointment, will disguise itself to protect itself. But you will always eventually uncover the true nature and that darkness will surely fall off! Just how the true nature of darkness will inevitably be discovered and the disguise of light will soon crumble to the ground!
       Darkness will play with the characteristic traits of light, in order to deceive it. The characteristic traits of light are hope, trust, gentleness. The dark know that the light will hope easily, will trust easily and will not stab in the back. Darkness, in all of its self-entitlement, will play with these, to its own advantage. But the only success that the dark ever have in such cases, is due to the fact that we have been taught since childhood that the light is reactive instead of proactive; that the light is defensive instead of assertive; that the light is needy instead of empowered; that the light is downcast and trodden upon while others rise and succeed. We are taught lies about the light and it is because of this fact, that the darkness has won too many times. But the truth is that the light is what causes the plants and the trees to grow. It is the light that calls to the seed in the ground and with her call, causes that seed to sprout veins and leaves! It is the fire that can burn an entire city down! In fact, a single candle can burn an entire city down! Can the darkness burn anything down? No! Can the darkness call to life in the ground and conjure up a tree? A vineyard? A rose? Never. It is the light that is assertive; it is the light that is to be feared; it is the light that is to be loved; it is the light that is empowered and powerful.
       Sometimes, the lights are turned off because we cease to look in the light, we cease to reach out and to grasp. The lights in our lives are sometimes turned off, because it is in the darkness that we reach out and grasp for whatever our hands can touch! The darkness conceals treasures that are often overlooked by us, when the light is always on! We forget the power and the good fortune of light, and it is in darkness that we are reminded of these!
       I want you to remember fire, I want you to remember that even if you carry only a single candle with you, this is enough to burn a city down. Many times in my own life, I have had but a single candle with me, and I have protected that candle from the winds and the storms, holding onto it, shielding it... but with that single flame, I have been able to burn cities down and light the bonfires that have cooked the food of high feasts! I want you to remember that with your single flame— you can overcome! You can burn down the walls that surround you, you can prepare a feast for yourself and those who are with you, you can light many other fires and many other candles, too! You can burn down the rooms of isolation that stand in the vacant spaces of your mind. You can burn the bridges that lead back to the things that hurt you, to the things that blind you and to the things that weaken you. And you can light up lanterns along the new paths that you take.

Copyright © 2015 C. JoyBell C. All rights reserved.



Have you ever wondered why
You fill your head with noise?
Why you run away
From that quiet room in your mind?
And have you ever wondered
That maybe you fill yourself with noise
To drain out the silence of
Your loneliness?
Because maybe that’s it
When all is quiet and still
You can hear your loneliness
It sounds like echoes
Echoes that go on and on
Bouncing off of walls
Because only the walls are there
To listen
But when your mind is filled with
All the noises that you so expertly
Feed it with,
You can’t hear the echoes
You forget the walls
There is no loneliness
Is there?
It’s gone
Isn’t it?

But I love you
And I don’t want you to be this way
I want you to stay for a while
In that place
Where there are only walls
And echoes
Because I will give you seeds
Of sunflowers
And you will plant them
And they will grow and call to the Sun
And the Sun will rub on the ceiling
Then the ceiling will turn to dust
And I will give you seeds
Of climbing New Dawn Roses
And they will grow into the cracks
Of the walls around you
And they will push those cracks apart
The walls will first squeak and splinter
Then they will become crooked
Then they will shake and fall down
There you will stand
In the middle of sunflowers
And roses
No more echoes
No more walls
But you have to stay for a while
In that silence
Long enough to plant seeds and
Wait for them to grow
They will grow
The walls will fall down
But don’t run away from the quiet
Don’t fill your mind with noise
Listen to the sound of the seeds
As I scatter them onto the ground
It will sound like your heartbeat
Follow it on the way inside

Copyright © 2015 C. JoyBell C. All rights reserved.

The Fish Are Dead

This one's for all of you women out there who have been in abusive marriages/ are in abusive marriages. If you're in one, get out of it. And if you were in one, celebrate its end and make sure you start healing.

The Fish Are Dead

He does so many good things
To show he’s a good person
To show that he’s in love
The problem is
I come home to him
At the end of the day
I live with the person
That nobody else sees
I live with the man
Who does nice things
To make up for
All the bad things

The gifts he bears me
Are peace treaties
Symbols of peace
He bears for himself
So he can look at himself
In the mirror

You see
The thing is,
I come home to the man
That nobody else sees
The one who
Bears gifts
Because he’s the one
Who carved the wounds
And I am supposed to be
Because there are gifts
I am supposed to be in love
Because there are
Symbols of peace
Lined up in the window
Everyone can see the window
No one can see inside
Our room, our bed
Nobody sees
Inside his head
He’s made his head
Into this bed
Into this house
It’s not my home
The fish in this fishbowl
Are dead
And I am supposed
To put a smile on my face

This isn’t love

Copyright © 2015 C. JoyBell C. All rights reserved.

Reflections of Dusk, Dawn and Noon

       In this world, we are surrounded by fast-paced, empty static energy. They're like the empty calories of the soul. You have empty calories for your body, like a bag of potato chips for example, then you have empty calories for your soul, which are found in the static energy that doesn't really add to our emotional, spiritual, mental experience of living our lives. We have magical moments of connection with people, with nature, with Spirit, but then we rush out of those moments all too fast, in order to go straight back into the busy lanes that are full of things not worthwhile! Empty energies! So when we do that, we forget our magical, nourishing soul moments all too fast and we start caring about things that we shouldn't care about too much, stepping outside of the moments of eternity that we encounter, and going back into the empty noise. So I think that we need to picture ourselves as rocks in the river; we can let all of that rush by us, while we stay fortified where we are, lingering in the warmness of the noontime sun, the chill of the dawn , the reflections of dusk— like a rock in a river— let it all just rush by. Be magic.

A Promise to Dania

A Promise to Dania

Little Dania, little Dania,
What is in your little box?

This is my little box of bad things
Fear, resentment, loss of hope

Little Dania, little Dania,
Why do you carry it around with you?

This is my little box of protection
They keep me away from the things that hurt

Little Dania, little Dania,
Wouldn’t you rather carry around good things?

This is my little box of things that don’t hurt
Good things hurt when they’re taken away from me

So if someone takes this box away from you
It won’t hurt? That’s why you carry it around with you?

Things have been taken away from me before
They were good and it hurt to lose them
But this box I carry around with me
Will never hurt me that way
Because it won’t hurt to lose it

Oh little Dania, little Dania,
This box has been keeping you away
From all the things that make life worth living
Don’t you see?
You can’t carry it around with you anymore

I have lived and I have lost
And this little box protects me
When I fear, I run away
When I’m angered, I stay away
This box will keep me safe

Little Dania, little Dania,
My heart bleeds for you
Take my box of joy and laughter
Take my box of warmth and trust
Take my box of honey and dew

If someone sees the box you give me
They will take it away one day
And then I will bleed to death
I cannot love, you see?
I would die if I do

Little Dania, little Dania,
It is my box I give to you
If somebody takes it away
I will give you another and another
It is not your box to lose
Let me take your old box
Let me take the bad one away
I’ll take it where you’ll never need it
I’ll take it where you’ll never find it
And I will give my boxes of good things
To you
Never yours to lose
Always mine to lose
Always yours to have and to hold
And if you lose the good things
If you lose the good box
They will be my loss
Not yours
And I will give you a new box
A new one, always new
With things like joy and laughter
With things like love and peace

Do you promise it won’t hurt me?
Not ever, ever, ever?

Sometimes things will hurt
But even though,
We should never hurt ourselves first
Surrounding yourself with darkness
Is hurting yourself
So nobody else can do it to you

Sometimes things can hurt
But what’s important
Is the joy that comes in the morning

And there will always be a morning?
Can you promise that?

I promise you
There will always be
A morning

Copyright © 2015 C. JoyBell C. All rights reserved.

What They Teach You In Marketing School vs. What You Should Actually Do

       In marketing, we are taught that we need to sell a myth, we need to sell an image, we need to sell something that people want to be a part of but can never really reach, because it is this constant "reaching up" for the myth that we create, which will keep our customers feeling like they are inadequate lest they consume our products. So, when you look out into the world today, what you see is a great big society governed by this marketing strategy. Then we see the reflection of these negative effects on the minds of people, everywhere. Moreover, it's not just the young people who are moulded by these myths created by marketers; but it is adults, too! It's everyone!
       Perhaps the most prevalent negative effect we can observe is the negative effect that the fashion industry has on young girls, everywhere. We all know this story all too well: young girls feel inadequate, they feel that they need to have this clothing item, they need to have this cosmetic brand on their table, they need to fit into a size three... all these needs which are not really needs, but they become so real in the minds of women everywhere, thanks to marketing strategies. And I know this for certain because I took a course from Bocconi University, on fashion and luxury management, where we were taught extensively on the importance of the myth being the key factor in selling luxury and fashion items. In fact, the whole industry itself is built on these collective myths.
       But you see, the thing is, I really don't believe that people want to climb after myths, I don't believe that people want to reach up to be a part of something that they will never really be a part of, I don't believe that this is how to sell things. Rather, I believe that people want to know that they are valued, I believe that people want to see themselves reflected in the world around them, I believe that people want to have healthy things to aspire for, healthy dreams to latch onto, and achievable goals that are real, that are profound and that are attainable. I also believe that this is how we become a better civilisation; not by chasing after dreams that can never actually be ours, but by daring to dream, dreaming to dare, and helping one another reach our individual and collective goals. I also believe this is the foundation of true success stories— brands that create for value, because they value their customers— not forming unreachable dreams for people which are not organic in their minds. Rather, I believe that a company ought to reach in and see the organic dreams already in the minds of people, and open its arms to welcome those dreams in. This is an organic company, an organic community, a sustainable organization.
       As C. JoyBell C., I am not only an author, but a publisher as well, and my customers are my readers. And I run my "one-woman-company" on the basis of what I believe in. I believe in valuing each individual, I believe in being genuinely interested in everybody, I believe that there is true quality in the people that read my work and I aim to speak to that quality that is already in them; I don't aim to make them feel like they need to chase after a myth. And the funny thing is, that it is in my just being what I believe in, that people actually do hail me as a myth, as an unearthly thing, as something unattainable! And I have in fact projected myself as the opposite! Perhaps in a world full of fakeness and lies, one becomes known as a myth when one is simply genuine and able to give value to those around them.

Positive Psychology and Love

       Hey wonderfuls! I am currently taking a course on Positive Psychology, from University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. I have found this study to be very beneficial to my life and I encourage everyone to dabble in it.
       This week though, the professor discussed loved from a PP standpoint, and this standpoint is one which I find to be greatly flawed and I entirely do not agree with it. I have noticed that when people have good ideas, they tend to apply the same idea to every area of life, abandoning common sense and knowledge in the process. This, of course, is not the advisable way to live! Common sense must be utilized in every situation and we cannot take one idea or belief system, and then proceed to apply it to every area in existence! A good example for this would be the principle of not lying: one is taught that lying is a sin, is immoral, and that one should never do it. Sadly enough, there are those who will take this mindset and apply it to every area of life, so even when the situation involves the person's safety or the safety of a loved one (a weirdo comes along and asks about your whole schedule for the day, or a suspicious character comes along asking for your sister's whereabouts or your child's whereabouts, etc. etc. etc.), they are stifled by the principle of never telling a lie, and in doing so, compromise the safety of their loved ones, or themselves! Of course, when suspicious people come along asking for the whereabouts of someone you know, you should say that you don't know anything about those whereabouts, and then after that you should probably call that person and tell them to be careful and/or call the authorities. You should never "not lie" in such situations! This is the application of common sense! Yet unfortunately, there are those who would not be able to apply such methods of common sense in similar scenarios. And it is in this same vein that I have observed that people these days come up with great ideas, but then begin to apply them onto areas where they should not be applied to. And that's where this week's lectures come into the picture.
       This week the professor discussed love and what love is, from the standpoint of Positive Psychology. According to this idea, love is an exchange of positive moments that get built up into a positive experience/a positive relation that you begin to attach to the other person with whom you experience these positive moments with. Therefore, according to this school of thought, love is neither everlasting nor unconditional, since it stands on the premise of this one condition, called, "positivity resonance." Now, this is where I believe the whole application of PP is just falling off of the map. So you mean to tell me that we love the people whom we love, because of the positive moments that we've been able to have together, and if those moments were not built in exactly those ways, we would never have loved them/we would cease to love them? Oh dear. Please don't... I can't even...
       We love the people that we love, because they are there for us when we feel like we can't face life alone and they remind us that we don't need to face life alone! We love the people that we love, because we know that when we cry, it hurts them, too. We love the people that we love because we share mutually in tears and in pains and in struggles and in hardships, and we know that because we are together, we can get through all of that— together! Because of the people we love, life becomes livable! Because of the people we love, we know that we have people to share with in not just the good parts of life; but in the hardships, as well! We will never have to carry our burdens alone, because these people love us!
       So what's going to happen to PP-believers now? Once life gets hard, they're going to think nobody loves them anymore? That love is over? That a relationship is over? Or what?
       I would like to implore people, everywhere, to not paint everything in life with the exact same brush that you found in the pretty paint can! The paint is pretty, yes, and the brush is a big one, too! But it's not supposed to go over everything, really. There is a time for everything. Have a great day, wonderfuls! And remember why you love the people that you love! It's the good moments; but it's all the other moments in between, too! Really, it's all the times you are there for each other!

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