Intuitive Parenting

       It is very important to have foresight and insight, as a parent. I think that foresight, insight and intuition are traits that need to be cultivated by parents, everywhere. We need these things when looking into our childrens' lives and into their surroundings. I believe that the greater majority of parents make judgements about their children, and their children's friends, based upon surface knowledge. Intuition rarely comes into the picture, at all.
       My son has an eclectic group of friends, everyone has their own flaws (because we all have our own flaws) and nobody comes from a "perfect" family background. In fact, my son's friends are people I probably wouldn't have been allowed to hang out with, back in my day (because my mom was just like any other mom when it came to these things). Say the word "shit" and you weren't allowed to hang out with me. Don't go to church and you weren't allowed to hang out with me. Go to church but don't read your Bible every day? Not allowed to hang out with me so much!
       I tell my son that we are not entitled to choose our friends based upon the flaws that fit our own acceptable criteria of flaws. I tell him that's wrong. His friends are really good people, who are true friends to him at heart. When he broke his wrist, they were at the hospital worried sick (and one of them was actually crying his eyes out). That's friendship. Friendship is not the coming together of perfect people; friendship is about being true to your friend, being there for your friend and feeling hurt when they feel hurt. Feeling happy when they feel happy. It's not about choosing perfect people and getting rid of less than perfect ones. If you base friendship on the latter, then you don't really have any friends at all. You just have pets!
       There are a few people I wouldn't allow my son to hang out with, because beyond their outward facade of politeness and sweetness, they easily say bad things and lascivious things behind other people's backs. And they're kids who go to church every week! They say "please" and "thank you" all the time. But then they'll turn around and say the worst things you can imagine about other people. And they're the types that other parents would love their children to be friends with! But parents aren't using their insight, they're not using their foresight, intuition, there is nothing going on below the surface level! But I warn my son about staying away from those types of people, I tell him that we choose our friends based upon how true they are, how genuine they are, and if they feel hurt when we are hurt and happy when we are happy. Do they hurt when you hurt? Are they happy when you are happy? Then they are good people, then they are your friends.
       I encourage parents, everywhere, to use the extra senses when looking into your children's lives. Use your extra senses when making decisions that involve your children, use your extra senses when analysing the best decisions to make regarding your child/children and their environments and the people that are allowed to surround them. Don't make decisions floating around on the top of the water; instead, dive down deep and see everything that is going on. That way, you will help to plant your child's roots in good places that might not always look so great on top; but that carry all the nutrients that are needed, within!

How Do We Define What Is Real To Us?

       In this time and age when we meet people from a distance, fall in love from a distance, learn and grow from a distance, earn degrees and certificates from a distance, adopt children from a distance, learn a new language or a new recipe from a distance, earn money through the air on the internet— I am still amazed, every day, to witness those who still do not believe that these things can be real— just because there is distance! At the same time, they are eating those recipes they picked up on the internet, they are getting hired for new jobs thanks to those certificates and degrees, they are raising children they found on a website! And on and on and on! Meanwhile, many of these same people who cast doubt on long distance relationships, say they have a relationship with a God whom they will never meet in this lifetime, regardless of what they ever do; a God whose story is in a book which was written thousands of years ago, a God whose very existence is disputed by science and cannot be proven. They will never see the face of God in this lifetime, and yet, they believe they have a relationship with this same God. Why? Well it’s either just because they were born into said religions and are afraid of what lies beyond, or, it’s because they experience the touch of this God— a touch that is undeniably life-changing and life-affirming, a touch that causes them to believe that there is in fact no such thing as distance! So to them, it’s real! Because what changes you, is real! And yet this very same faith they profess, is something they are unable to reflect out upon other people, they are unable to have faith in what is here in this world, merely due to something called distance. Now, what is faith if we are unable to reflect the practice of it, onto those around us? Onto other people? Because if not, then it is merely a concept and not a reality. Merely a theory misunderstood. And where is God? Is God not off in some higher Seventh Heaven, somewhere in the cosmos? Or perhaps there is no distance between us and God, because, perhaps God is with us always. In this same light, perhaps there is no distance between any of us, because, perhaps we are with each other always. Distance is a myth, because it is only relative to time and space; and time and space are concepts only; they are intangible, therefore, they should also be called unreal. You may travel over all the distance you want and you will still not be able to reach the beginning of time. It's something that you will never reach, therefore, it is intangible! So what then is real? What then is genuine? What’s real is what can touch you, can change you, can make you breathe a different kind of air. That’s real. Hold onto that.

I will leave you with this thought:

       How do you know if something is real? That’s easy. Does it change you? Does it form you? Does it give you wings? Does it give you roots? Does it make you look back at a month ago and say, “I am a whole different person right now”? If yes, then it’s real. The evidence of truth and reality, lies in how much something can touch you, can change you, even if it’s from very far away. Distance is only the evidence of what can be surpassed.

The Five Rules (And One Golden Rule) For Thinking, Writing, And Being Quoted

       I've noticed that I have started some kind of revolution in the world! I don't know if "revolution" is the right word, but, at the moment I am too tired to think of a better word, so, this one will simply have to do.
       As you all know, at the moment I could very well be referred to as the, "quote queen" of the world and I'm sure everyone would agree upon that. What that means is, I've probably produced more aphorisms that are quoted by people worldwide, than anyone else. While I am delighted to see that I am inspiring people to share their aphorisms, thus, inspiring them to think and to reflect deeply, I would also like to give a warning about the motives behind doing this.
       Allow me to explain. I have simply always been writing aphorisms my whole life. Before I could write, my mother said I would speak the most intriguing things, and she would write them down on paper. I also remember writing in pink little notebooks as a child. The idea wasn't ever to write in order to be quoted. I just needed someplace to write them down! The only thing that changed later on, is the arrival of the internet and the invention of the blog. Because then I had a place to write them while sharing them with others, at the same time. The rest is history!
       What I am saying, is that the motive ought to be to keep track of your own thoughts, and then if people are blessed by those thoughts, then that's good! I don't think that the motive should be, "I want people to quote me."
        Sure, I did say to myself one day, "I will have achieved a great thing if my words are ever quoted by others." I have of course, exceeded my wish (thanks be to all the higher powers), and I am quoted by people whom I thought would never know that I exist on Earth! And more than that, they actually thank me for my mere existence in this world. This is in fact one of the most gratifying things for a person to experience, I think (to be thanked for merely existing on the planet) and I am so very thankful that I receive this from others, everywhere.
       I've seen people come out with places on the internet and entitling them thus so, "Quotes by ______" and that makes me want to give out some "quoting etiquette" guidelines, for everyone out there who aspires to follow in my footsteps. The biggest guideline is the one I've already explained above (to write not to be quoted by others; but to write in order to keep track of your own thoughts). Now, what follows is a set of rules for quoting etiquette that I would be happy to give, because, if anyone is to follow in my footsteps, God forbid they follow blindly and end up turning this profession into a laughing stock. If you are going to do something, then do it the best way you possibly can. Here are the small set of rules (etiquette) for doing it the best way you possibly can:

1. Never quote yourself. Oh god, please, please, never quote yourself! What does quoting yourself look like? It looks like this: "Last night I lost the world and gained the universe."— C. JoyBell C. Never, ever, ever say something followed by your name and inserted between quotation marks. The idea is to write; it's not your job to quote yourself! That's the job of other people! It's not a "quote" unless another person quotes you! And, no, that other person can never be your shadow self!

2. Never say something original of your own creation whilst inserting it into quotation marks. Quotation marks are for sharing something that somebody else said! If you do that for yourself (even if you don't follow it up with your name at the end) you'll just look like you don't know punctuation! And if you don't know punctuation, it then follows that the respect your readers have for you, will drop like the falling and fading sparks of a firecracker plummeting to the ground! I would insert a series of sound effects right about now, but, I'm too tired to think of a series of sound effects, so, just imagine that on your own! A la comic book style!

3. Don't act like you're incredible just because you're being quoted. This goes back to the golden rule I first shared above— the idea is to think— then if other people find what you think to be worthwhile, then that means you are honoured. That never means you are incredible! They're incredible for finding you out of 7 billion people in the world! So, don't be an asshole!

4. Never beg people to "check out" your "quotes". First of all, they are called "aphorisms"; they are not called "quotes" until other people call them that, because they are in fact quoting you. Don't beg them to come and read your aphorisms. Aphorisms are not a form of entertainment! They are the products of mental and spiritual reflection!

5. Never see the process of philosophy as a stairway to fame! The process of philosophy is a stairway to enlightenment and awareness and truth. If you see philosophy (the love of wisdom which will in turn produce aphorisms), as a shortcut to fame— it will really, really show! It will smell and people will be able to smell that and you will turn into a stinky trashcan. You don't want that, so don't do it. If you do that, if you do think like that, then you will only be famed amongst those with no intuition and no foresight and insight. You will not be famed amongst those who have intuition enough to smell your motives!

       I think that will be all! :) It is my earnest hope that those of you who are following in my footsteps (and I know that there are many of you), will adhere to this oh-so-very important list of "quoting etiquette" rules! And if you don't adhere to these, then you don't have my blessing to go out into the world and multiply your aphorisms! :p Have a great day, wonderfuls! :)

An Incredible Lightness of Being

       I always know the exact moment that someone in the room has fallen asleep. I have realised lately, that this is probably a quite amazing thing to know. When I am in the same room as anybody who is falling asleep, I will always feel the exact moment that it happens, regardless of what I am doing! I may be writing, reading, or whatever, but I will always feel someone fall asleep. There is an incredible lightness of being that emanates from the area, it's like somebody opening the window on a very pleasant, lighthearted day! And it's not something I try to keep my eyes open for; it's just that I always feel it; no matter what else I am doing at the moment! This makes me wonder what actually happens when someone falls asleep, to create such a lightness of being!

Being A Friendly Person In A Not-So-Friendly World

       Today I realised just how friendly I really am. I was buying underwear at F&F, when I began to greet the staff and ask about their lives; people whom I had met only twice before, because they were helping me do my shopping in their store. They were very happy to answer all my questions about themselves, and one was pregnant, and I asked why she was still pregnant because she already looked like she was going to pop the last time I was there, and she said she's giving birth next month, so I asked what she's going to name her baby and she said she doesn't have a name yet, and of course I, being the baby-naming-fanatic that I am, gasped out loud and told her I could help her name her baby! And I was serious! I love naming babies! This made her laugh out loud, and all her friends laughed too, but I didn't think it was cute or funny— I wanted to help her name her baby! I like naming babies! :)
       My point is, I didn't previously realise how friendly I really am. The staff at F&F looked really, REALLY surprised that I was asking them about themselves and talking with them! You see, there is a rotation of the staff there and the last time I saw this batch was about a month ago. But it's funny because I don't know people's names; I know the shape of their eyes, the texture of their hair, I know how much their countenance glows (or doesn't glow)... I remember people for all the many parts that make up who they are— but I most likely don't know their names. Which is a little funny, I think.
       I remember the first time I made my very first ever friend. I walked up to a total stranger on the school playground, and I asked her what her name was, and I told her mine. From that day on, we were inseparable!
       It's funny because I have never really realised how friendly I am, until today! Come to think of it, I AM very friendly! And I feel hurt very easily if someone else doesn't want to be my friend!
       How do we balance a very friendly nature with living in a world that isn't comprised of very friendly people? I am not sure if I have figured that out yet, because, I didn't even know I was like this, until now! I just know that I easily feel hurt, when I feel like someone is my friend but then it turns out they're not. I suppose the balance lies in just being friendly in the moment, without expecting someone to actually become a real friend to you. Or, maybe, the balance is more on self-compassion... if you are easily hurt, maybe you should just try to stop fixing that about you, and just have compassion for yourself and just not be too friendly to those who don't reciprocate. The good news is— there are plenty of people who DO reciprocate— they are usually the very simple-hearted ones. Like people who sell you your underwear at F&F! They're happy when you remember them! They're glad when you smile at them! :) So, I guess that means that friendliness is a trait of the simple-hearted person, but is also a source of hurt for those same people. I guess we don't need to be friendly to everyone; just to those who have the same kind of hearts that we do; or at least, to those who appreciate what we are like!

The Antlers, The Green, and The Font

       I know that by now, you have noticed how I have updated my social media branding, and that's something I would like to explain with all of you, a little bit.
       First of all, the green hue is something I would like to call "Joybell green". It's a hue of green that I searched for, for hour upon hour! I must have chosen from a hundred HEX Codes, before settling with this particular shade of green! It's green but it's not so green; it's almost turquoise but not quite; it has just the right amount of blue in it; but not too much to make it look garish. It's the exact shade of green I could stare at for hours on end and never get tired of.
       The antlers are something that I chose, for their spiritual meaning and symbolism. Antlers are very magical and mystical, as they are able to rejuvenate and grow anew, even after falling out. So, they symbolise eternal youth and renewal, as well as a quiet power (rejuvenation is power). Aside from the antlers themselves, we know that these things are attached to a deer; the deer is the symbol of gentleness, elegance and intuition. Using their intuition, deer are able to escape much larger prey in a very graceful, elegant way. They don't use force; they remain gentle, always a beautiful sight to behold. The deer is also the symbol of continual innocence and stillness; a satisfaction with the innocence in life; never does it scramble for attention, but gently it lurs attention without any thought of doing so. A deer would rather hide her beauty amongst the trees, and yet, every eye is delighted to find a deer if they can find one!
       Innocence, gentleness, sensitivity, eternal renewal, grace, elegance, intuition, stillness, swiftness, watchfulness, humility, beauty and soft strength. All magical and mystical qualities of the deer and its antlers. In this light, I have taken up this symbol as my own, one of protection for myself, and an embodiment of who C. JoyBell C. is.
       You'll know that up until now, my symbol has been that of The Three Flights (The Eagle, The Pegasus-Unicorn, and The Swan). However, I recently let go of my previous paths in life, and have taken up a new one that feels more fortified, and this is the path of the deer. And this is one that I believe will stay as my symbol, for always.
       The simple typeface I've used is called "Venetian BT" and is a typeface based upon the Venetian Renaissance printers of old, originally created between the late 15th and mid 18th centuries. I've chosen this font, as I am a fan of all the Renaissance typefaces, and also because this particular font looks light, crisp, and exceptional. It is exquisite, I think, and is a font that I could never grow tired of looking at.
       And it is with this formal introduction that I would like to welcome you all to the new C. JoyBell C. branding (it's called branding but with regards to me, the real term to use would be symbolism). I hope you are able to bask in its beauty and enjoy it as much as I do! Now, have a blessed day ahead! :)

I Find

“In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer.”
~ Albert Camus

I Find

In the dead of Winter
I found there was
Within me
An everlasting Spring
An invincible rose
A continual garden

In the midst of ugliness
I found there was
Within me
An unfading flower
Of unwavering beauty
Eternally rejuvenating

In the middle of lack
I found there was
Within me
An unending seashore
Cast with precious stones
I gather all that I like

When I was robbed
I found there was
Within me
The strength of an ocean
The depth of the sea
The most beautiful mountains

When I was cast aside
I found there was
Within me
A country of beauty
Where everyone knows my name
Even the sunlight loves me

Wearing rags
I found there was
Within me
A dress made of fine silk
Shoes set in gold
A treasure chest of jewellery

I find there is
Within me
An invincible me

Copyright 2015 C. JoyBell C. All rights reserved.

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